To The Stars I Could Never Reach: Even The Stars Don't Compare

V

Sebastian's(POV):

It was moving day once again and of course moving in was a pain in the ass, but the house was nice that's the only thing that made us feel better. As for the roommate situation I got stuck with Kane this time..

Room Situation:

Seb > Kane

Justin > Regie

Ryan > Darren

*Oliver is by himself*

I couldn't believe I'd been stuck with Kane of all people things have been awkward since the party. He thinks I don't know, but I remember everything — even the kiss. I didn't want to bring it up because it would only end in chaos. I knew that Kane wouldn't accept his feelings for me even if I begged him to. With a weary sigh I fell back into my bed getting comfortable Kane walked in yarning and stretching. If I ask him now I wonder how he'd respond, would he deny it?

"Kane — "

"Hey wanna play smash bros?"

Oliver said bursting into the room making us both awkwardly separate looking away from each other. Forcing a smile walking out of the room Kane behind me I could feel his eyes burning a hole in the back of my head. We walked into Oliver's room to see all the boys there cheering and talking shit about who's getting destroyed. Taking a seat next to Darren who was to busy getting his ass kicked to notice that his fly was down. Suddenly me and Ryan's eyes met my cheeks started to flush red as I thought about how this looked. Ryan just laughed at me before elbowing Darren causing him to lose. Darren shoved Ryan in response Ryan climbed on top of him and started yelling for him to apologize.

"Ayoo what's going on?"

Kane said walking out of the bathroom shirtless, had he just gone in the bathroom to strip? Probably to film a thirst trap in Oliver's bathroom. I found myself going over every detail of his body, his muscles were nice and firm and he always had a nice face it was his smile that was always — lit up the room. My face started to get red again it felt hot biting my lower lip trying to get myself to look away, dammit I had been around Darren for a little to long. Turning my attention back to the game biting my lip the night me and Kane kissed playing on loop in my head.

"Sebastian you ok? Your face is red, are you sick?"

Oliver asked looking over at me examining my face carefully, but all I could do was slowly shake my head no. Taking the controller keeping my eyes on the screen to avoid embarrassing myself. Right as the match started Kane sat next to me watching us play the game I could smell his cologne it was so enticing it smelled of fresh rose wood, and roses.

"Dam Sebastian come on!"

I heard Darren yell out when I got hit with one of Oliver's attacks and fell off the platform quickly jumping back onto the platform I hit him with repeated attacks trying my best to keep myself a float. Right when Seb and I fell off at the same time he hit me with another attack and I lost. Everyone started booing me and laughing as I jumped off the bed yelling in frustration.

"Ah that sucks bro!"

Darren yelled out pushing his finger into my chest teasingly. Grabbing him I put him in a headlock while the boys cheered us on, but Regie suddenly jumped in.

"Free for all!!"

Justin yelled out jumping on top of Oliver and hitting it him with a pillow. Letting go of Darren smiling when out of nowhere a pillow hit me right in the face. Looking over to my right to see Kane laughing at me I ran after him chasing him downstairs then back upstairs and onto the roof. I couldn't tell what exactly he was up to, but I wasn't backing down.

"Kane — think about this bro — "

I said backing up slowly remembering that Darren had left a water gun up here somewhere. Oliver would be upset his pillow is wet and dirty but I'd just buy him a new one since I knew he'd be pissed. Spotting the water gun out the corner of my eye I reached for it, but before I could Kane tossed the pillow aside and tackled me to the ground pinning my hands to the ground his lips inches from mine. What do I do?

"Maybe we shouldn't do this."

Kane said getting into his knees then pushing himself up onto his feet. I just pushed myself up onto my knees staring up at him as the sun shined down on us. He was right this would only cause trouble, just like it did for Darren, him and Ryan. That day I laid my head on his lap I was pushing myself to believe I could get him to say something first, going against what I promised myself. He just stood there towering over me his long black hair blowing in the wind. Even if I promised myself this it was inevitable that I wouldn't be able to hold it in any longer.

"Kane — "

I whispered softly getting onto my feet dragging him to the other side of the roof away from the door where no one could see us. Sitting him in the lime green lawn chair I took a deep breath before speaking trying to think of what exactly to do. I wasn't going to tell him I remember kissing him that night during Darren's birthday party, but maybe I should—

"Look Sebastian, I know your frustrated with your feelings but I'm sorry to tell you I'll never be able to feel for you the way I felt for Darren. No matter how much he denies me I've decided that -"

"Your so pathetic, your chasing after someone who has made it clear he doesn't love you. He doesn't feel the same for you!! YOUR SO FUCKING PATHETIC! He cheated on you!! He got back with Ryan and ditched you — you tried everything and still doesn't want you!! He wants Ryan!! Your not ever going to get him to feel the same way —"

"That's funny coming from someone who forced a kiss on me at Darren's party even after I rejected him. I mean if your going act like a sloppy hussy and throw yourself at me you should at least do it properly."

Kane interjected walking over to me his face inches from mine the venom in his words knocking the air from my lungs. I wanted to say something, but I couldn't the lump in my throat was so big. I stared into his eyes searching for an ounce of remorse for his words, but could not find any. With a malevolent smile he suddenly threw me into the chair pinning me down his knee between my legs and his lips inches from mine. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I whimpered closing my eyes unable to say anything.

"This is sad, I bet even after all this you'll still pathetically following me around like a puppy because your deplorable, pitiful, and — no matter what you try just like me you'll never be with the person you love. You can't even hate me  because at the end of the day your still in love with me ."

He whispered in my ear before letting me go and then walking off his footsteps disappeared slowly. I just sat in the chair my shirt a mess from the tears that wouldn't stop falling. All I could do was sit in the chair staring after him my body shaking to the core, I wanted with all my heart to hate him but he was right I can't — it's impossible to hate him.