To The Stars I Could Never Reach: Even The Stars Don't Compare

VI

Kane's (POV):

I walked back into the room with guys who all stared at me Suspiciously. Trying to avoid eye contact holding back my urge to go back and apologize, after all he deserved it! He was being a hypocrite calling me pathetic for chasing someone even after they rejected me. It just felt hard for me to accept it all after seeing him cry like that — had I gone to far? I really didn't mean to blurt out and tell him about the kiss, but out of anger I —-

"Hey Kane — what's wrong?"

Oliver said his voice changing into a concerned tone and everyone's eyes were drawn to Kane who's face and eyes had become red tears rolling down his cheeks. He didn't respond he just grabbed his phone and walked out the room without uttering a single word. Putting my hand over my heart gripping my shirt feeling like someone was squeezing my heart. Getting up to chase after Kane when suddenly when the guys suddenly ran out of the room chasing after him all I could do was sit there staring after them.

The next day we got videos done for our individual channels as well as a video for  NSB everyone was so pumped up about getting two nominations for MTV that it seemed yesterday's awkwardness was erased. Next me and Sebastian had a interview with TD JORDAN on his podcast. We were a few minutes late because of the traffic but were able to make it right in time. We sat down in to chairs got our makeup done by some really pretty girls. Out the corner of my eye I watched Sebastian who was awkwardly flirting. Had he really gotten over it this quickly? Was he hiding it?

"Alright done."

The makeup artist said handing me a small mirror, but all I could do was focus on Seb who was cheerfully smiling on his Snapchat. Shaking it off I walked over to the area where we were to be interviewed and took a seat on the blue beanbag plopping down not expecting white little pieces of foam to fly out the back. The host just laughed and giving me a reassuring smile before I could start panic.

"Hey Kane — your flies open."

Seb whispered softly in my ear so that no one else could hear. Looking over my shoulder then down at my pants to see that my fly was indeed open. Closing it rubbing the back of my neck sheepishly feeling slightly embarrassed. He took a seat in the red beanbag keeping his distance from me his eyes on the interviewer the entire time.

"Alright you guys in here with — some young legends in the making! The NorthStar Boys! 734k subscribers on YouTube, and on TikTok it's 7.8 Million Followers on Tiktok and currently been nominated for a MTV Award for New YouTube Artist as well as Best Influencer."

TD announced his cheerfully me and Seb just humbly smiled.

"When you two first joined NorthStar Boys what was it like?"

I looked at Sebastian waiting for him to answer the question he just sat there in silence for a second then smiled before answering the question.

"Well it was a bit hard to get use to living with like 5 other guys in the house with you. Eventually everything came into place and we've struggled ya know we were homeless for a hot minute but that was quickly handled by me, Kane's brother — manager Ty, and my brother Sebastian."

"Ah ok — so also I kind of — am curious about that ... is there times were Manager Ty will show favoritism when it comes to his little brother?"

TD asked leaning in closer pressing his fingers together. Tensing up a little I shook my head no before responding.

"... He's hard on all of us .. he's especially hard on me and expects a lot out of me — all of us in general so no he doesn't show favoritism with anyone."

"Well —"

For a couple of minutes we answered more questions then we started to answer fans questions. When it was all over we took a picture with the host and put it up on the wall next to everyone else he's ever interviewed. We arrived at home around 6 o'clock the drive home was silent neither one of us bothered to even acknowledge the others presence. Dammit!
This can't keep happening we've got to come to some kind of understanding, we both said some foul shit —

"Sebastian I know I hurt you, but you haven't spoken to me all day. We both said something's you were being a hypocrite just as much as me it's unfair for you to just —"

"Look Kane I'm done — I'm done with you — I'm done trying to get you to see me and understand that no matter what path you take Darren will never love you the way he loves Ryan. I've given up on you, so don't worry you can do what you want just don't involve me."

He said coldly staring out the window not even making eye contact as he spoke. I couldn't read his expression from behind his sunglasses, did he really mean that he was giving up on me? There was no way he was actually giving up on me — dragging him onto the basketball court.

"Are you really giving up on me?"

I asked curious if he'd actually admit, if he said yes then he meant it that's if he could bring himself to say it. The moment he hesitates I know he's bluffing and it was all a ploy to reel me in again. He turned to me grabbing me by shirt pulling me closer our faces inches apart.

"I — hate you —- but your my friend so I know that in order to spare myself the heartache that I've been nursing for months — I give up on you — do what you want I don't care."

He said pushing his sunglasses onto his head staring into my eyes not breaking contact fury in his eyes. I could tell he meant every word he said, but for some reason it bothered me I felt my stomach being tied into knots and he my heart felt like it was being squeezed. He said turning away quickly pulling out his phone pushing his sunglasses back down taking pictures. Shaking off this odd feeling I stalked off happy that he'd finally gotten through his thick skull that we'd never work out. Pushing through the tightness in my chest I walked into the house.

"Hey Darren can we talk?"

I said right as Darren appeared walking gracefully out of the kitchen looking down at his phone. Grabbing his hand I dragged him up the stairs into the room I shared with Sebastian thankfully he hadn't arrived yet. I'd been trying to pretend this whole time as if I'd gotten over Darren, but I hadn't and Sebastian continuing to try and throw himself at me had me distracted for a while. Right now now that Ryan and Darren had officially broken up I had a chance — a real chance.

"Darren —"

I started off nervously watching the door then turning my attention back to him. I had to get this out or I won't be able to live with myself. Taking a deep breath getting onto one knee taking his hands in mind.

"Darren — I'm still in love with you — I've never been more sure of something in my life, but I'm madly in love with you!! I want —"

He suddenly snatched his hands away and then held up his left hand revealing the ring that Ryan had given him. He'd taken him back even after everything that happened—

"Kane bro, I understand that you wanted to keep trying because you saw an opening, but not every opening is an opportunity to be taken. My heart will always belong to Ryan — I'm sor -"

"Save your apology for someone who actually gives a fuck, your really horrible you know this — I'm the one who was there for you while you were going through it with him and — "

"I thank you for that but Kane I'm never going to love you — that way — I love you as a friend your like a big brother to me, I'll never love you the way I love Ryan."

He said resting his hand on my shoulder trying to comfort me, but I didn't want to be comforted!! Just like Seb said I'd pathetically wasted my time and energy pursuing the person who saw me only as a friend. Storming off I walked up to the roof taking a seat in the chair staring up at the sky.