To The Stars I Could Never Reach: Even The Stars Don't Compare

VII

Sebastian (POV):

Fresh tears rolling down my cheeks as I opened my eyes the sound of birds singing a sorrowful song for me seeping into the walls. Rolling onto my side more tears falling as I saw Kane's face my heart felt as if it was going to be ripped from my chest. I wanted to hate him, but even if I tried — he was right I can't hate him it's impossible for me. Running my fingers through his hair I bit my lip holding back my sobs not wanting to wake him. Sitting up I sighed swinging my legs out of bed then walking out.

"Sebastian your never up this early, it's literally six thirty five your — is something wrong?"

He asked his eyes were full of worry, I was fine —- I —- turning away I ran away dashing up the stairs and didn't stop until I got to the roof my breathing shallow. Letting my tears go unable to see clearly the tears just kept coming there was no stoping them. What is it about him that made me so weak? Why am I in love with someone so cold like him?! All the energy in my body felt like it had depleted from crying so much and everything began to turn black I started to crumble, but right before I fell my body was suddenly snatched up and the scent of fresh rosewood and roses filled the air.

"Kane — I'm sorry, I'm sorry —-"

I mumbled before everything went dark I couldn't hear anything my heart was pounding to loud and it hurt so much that I wanted to remove it from my body. I felt someone's hand on mine and a soft voice faintly mumbling somewhere in the background.

"He looked like he'd been crying a lot his face looked very flushed. Well he's got a bit of a fever, but the rest of the guys and me will be heading out for breakfast we'll bring something back. Oliver do you think something is wrong between him and Kane? When Kane saw him he had no reaction he looked stunned and that's —"

"I know, but I highly doubted they would of been fighting like Ryan and Darren.  They have been acting a bit off lately, but it doesn't seem that bad."

Oliver said reassuringly pressing his hand on my forehead then I felt something cold and wet being placed on my head. Opening my eyes slowly giving Oliver a vague smile knowing he'd want answers, but I couldn't give them to him the chaos in the house and lovers quarrels were over with. Ryan's and Darren seemed happy to be just friends even still wore the rings Ryan had gotten for them.  There was no way I'd —

"Oliver I forgot my — phone — oh he's awake now — it's good to see your ok Sebastian."

Kane said running into the room awkwardly standing at the door. He sounded as if he cared but I didn't want him to I —- I wanted —-"

"Kane — did you and Sebastian fight before this?"

Oliver asked him leaning back in his chair a hint of anger in his voice. Was Oliver angry? Had I started something again? Kane shook his head no, but I could tell on the inside he was panicking. Why had Oliver suddenly asked such a thing? Does he know something?

"Kane are you lying to me? If you are I -"

"He's not everything is fine, I just felt a bit stressed that's all he's done nothing wrong."

I said interjecting quickly wanting to reassure him that there was nothing going on between me and Kane. He looked from me to Kane then back at me leaning forward before standing up walking towards the door. He stopped in his tracks turning back to us sighing I couldn't tell whether or not if he believed us, but for both our sakes I hope he bought it.

"If so then Kane you stay here and hold down the fort, make sure he doesn't get out of bed."

Oliver said smiling ear to ear, but that smile had something eerie behind it I'd never felt so scared of Oliver until right now. He shuffled out of the room shutting the door behind him. We found ourselves listening for his footsteps to fade away into the distance. Sitting up I took the rag off of my head putting on the nightstand Kane just gawked at me completely unbothered.

"Sebastian your ok right?"

Kane asked sounding slightly concerned, but I felt numb to it all my heart felt cold now. Pulling the covers off of me I swing my legs out of bed before pushing myself up out of bed and walked towards the bathroom. Kane grabbed my hand halting me his expression more serious now.

"You should take it easy, you —"

"I fainted — it's not like I hit my head or anything so quite pretending you care for me. You wanted me to be this way fine you've gotten your wish."

I said in a cold tone, in the end I was bluffing my heart was still unsure of how to handle yesterday. Snatching my arm from his grasp I stripped out of my shirt throwing it into the dirty laundry basket then stepping into my bathroom. Shutting the door I felt my heart racing I leaned up against the door. Thanks to Oliver, my dear older brother I'm stuck here with Kane until they get back. Stripping out of all my clothes I threw them into my dirty clothes basket before grabbing my toothbrush and brushing my teeth. Quickly washing my face I took a deep breath swinging the door open surprised to see Kane sprawled out on the bed on his phone. Shutting it back spinning around I walked to my shower hopping in and turning it on.

By the time I got done the boys hadn't arrived back yet they'd gotten stuck in traffic in downtown L.A according to a text from Justin. Kane and I ended up watching a movie together just to avoid conversation. Kane suddenly turned off the movie turning to me I could tell he had something on his mind, but was afraid to express it. Now that I think about it Oliver said Kane's reaction was full of shock liked he'd seen a ghost or something. Honestly I was a bit confused about why Oliver smelled like Kane — or was is it my own fault because even at the time I was the one falling apart all I could think about was him.

"Sebastian — I know you are being like this towards me because I deserve it, but you really scared everyone —-"

"Oh right, sorry about that I guess I should apologize to them when they get back. Maybe get on my knees and just —"

"Cut the bullshit Sebastian! I'm being serious about this everyone was scared including me!! When Oliver ran into the room and told us what happened— I was scared I felt sick to my stomach — I knew because of me you almost hurt yourself very badly."

Kane said in a stern voice his dark brown eyes hallow and full of anger. Kane — felt bad? Well —

"Sebastian I'm sorry, I really am — I know I brought you a lot of pain. After finding out Darren and Ryan were back together I started thinking about you and started to hate myself a little."

Kane said getting closer his face getting closer to mine. Instinctively I put my hand on his chest keeping him at bay getting a feeling that If I let this go on I'll only get my heart broken. He moved my hand away grabbing the back of my neck pulling me closer pressing his lips onto mine.