Things Aren't the Same •JIARA •

9

Kie's POV:

I packed a bag and left with Cole before Quinn and JJ came back. I was going to spend the night in his dorm with his weird roommate because I didn't want to deal with Quinn and JJ tonight. It was a nice getaway and Cole wanted to make out and I didn't.

"I don't feel that good. I think I got too much sun." I said and he kissed me and told me to get some sleep which I did

Cole and I spent the next three days together. That gave JJ and Quinn a lot of time to do their own stuff. I went back to my dorm as JJ was supposed to be gone this morning. I arrived and JJ was still there. I walked in and Quinn said, "His flight got canceled"

"Oh, okay" I said unpacking my bag

He was flying out tomorrow morning. Quinn was stressing about a test she had tomorrow and she asked me to drop him off at the airport. I said yes and she went to the library to study and I was alone with JJ.

"How was your alone time with Cole?" He asked

"Fine, we went hiking and hung out." I said not wanting to talk to him

"Fuck, Kie why are you shutting me out? Seriously, I can't deal with this anymore..."

"I'm shutting you out? No, you're the one who told me you loved me and that you would wait for me when I left for boarding school and I come back to see I've been replaced by Quinn, not only by the pogues but by you too. It fucking hurts feeling like I don't even belong as a pogue anymore and I actually like Quinn so it makes it really hard to hate her" I said breaking down in tears

He got off Quinn's bed and he came onto my bed and he hugged me. she wrapped his arms around me and my head rested on his chest. He lightly rubbed my back and played with the ends of my hair.

"I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like we replaced you. You can't ever be replaced in our group. We all missed you so much. Quinn is an addition to the group, not a replacement.. I could never replace you... You are the only one who I feel safe and vulnerable with. Quinn knows nothing about my parents, she just knows my dad left. You are my best friend and you always will be. I'm so sorry, Kie. I feel like shit not realizing how you felt" He said as he lightly rubbed my back

"I think that you should tell Quinn when you're ready. You've been with her for almost two years. It must be real, you've never been in a real relationship before."

"Kie, I meant every word I said in those letters"

"What letter? The first one or the last one because they have very different messages as the last ones you basically told me to fuck off"

"The first one"

"Doesn't seem like it" I said

"How the hell do you know what I'm feeling?" He asked

"I don't and you don't know what I'm feeling either" I said

"So then tell me" He said

"It doesn't matter how I feel. Please just stop.." I said not wanting to keep talking and I couldn't stop crying

"It does matter because it feels like you don't care about me either"

"Seriously, are you that fucking stupid..." I said grabbing his hand and placing it on my chest over my racing heart

"My heart beats like this every time I see you... I've had dreams that I can't tell you about over and over again. Dream so real that I wake up and have to make sure they weren't real. I wish you could know what I'm feeling right now because I can't even describe it."

His hand was still on my chest and he moved it to my stomach and it was driving me crazy. He could tell and he pulled away and said, "I see what you mean"

"No, you don't.. There's so much more you don't know..." I said

"Enlighten me" He said in a flirty way

"Fuck off, please just leave me alone." I said crying but he didn't leave, he held me in his arms and apologized over and over for hurting me.

We stayed in my bed for about an hour and I realized how attached I felt to him in this moment. Then I remembered Cole and Quinn. Fuck, I sat up and he stopped and I said, "We can't do this. I love Cole not you, JJ. Go find your girlfriend"

I went to Cole's dorm and had sex with him. I got up early the next morning to take JJ to the airport. He was shocked I showed up.

He got in my car and he didn't say a single word to me. I looked at him once we arrived to the airport and I said, "What happened last night was a mistake and it never should have happened. Let's just forget about it. Be happy with your girlfriend because she's pretty amazing. You were right about what you wrote in those letters. It's time we both move on and accept the fact that things will never go back to the way they were that night in the hammock. We've moved on with other people. Let's start acting like it. I also need to give you this ring back. It's way too much for me. Give it to Quinn or hang onto it." I said handing him the ring and he looked crushed

"Goodbye, Kie..." He said getting out of my car and heading into the airport. I watched him throw the ring in the trash as he walked in