Baggage

Part Eight

Shay's Point Of View:

Sleep was not with Shay this night, her mind was running miles and miles an hour. The hurt was getting to Shay and it didn't help that even before she got a wink of sleep James had moved around and caused a lot of commotion. Shay heard James leave and close the door behind him; the minute she could no longer hear him her heart sunk.

She enjoyed every part of her day with him; getting to know him and making love to him but, there was this undertone of guilt and sorrow she felt. No words could comprehend how in pain she felt thinking that she would actually forget her late husband and find new love.

How pathetic.

Shay lifted herself from the bed and sighed; the weight she held was agonizing. Moments later she eventually fully got out of her bed and made her way to her bathroom. Shay looked at herself in the mirror watching as tears ran down her face staining her cheeks with sadness and grief. Her legs began to weaken and she eventually fell to the ground bringing her knees up to her face clutching herself tightly.

 She thought back and recalled the fond memories she made with James today and cracked a smile but; it didn't last long before her mind went back to sorrow. She didn't have a clue as to why he suddenly left taking his belongings with him but whatever the reason was she knew it must have been better than being with a widower. Shay hoped James could come back and return to her not leaving her alone again.

She was scared of being alone the feeling was now all too familiar; it sickened her to her stomach. Shay was not aware of how long she was crouched in the bathroom; feeling as if she were there for hours, she heard the door open and footsteps enter. Shay kept her head down hoping with all she had it was James "Shay?" 'there he is' she thought to herself as a tear ran down her cheek "Hi James" she cracked out. Shay made eye contact as he walked closer to her taking a seat next to her on the ground "I'm sorry" Shay shook her head sighing before speaking.

"It's not you, it's me, I should have told you this sooner. The real reason I came here wasn't to take a break from work. I took a break from myself" she paused before speaking again "I had been married for nine months before my late husband passed away; he was a tall man with darker skin than my own. He was a firefighter and was working late one night; normally I would stay up and wait for him but one night the police came knocking on my door and told me...he was in a car accident ...and died" Shay broke into tears as she bite down on her lip keeping her wales in as tears ran down her chin falling on the ground.

James was quiet, he listened "I spent almost all my life running from myself because of it and my family and friends grew incredibly worried practically forcing me to take this trip to forget about him but ..seeing you leave the room had reminded me of the feeling I forgot. Because being with you had made me forget it and I couldn't help but feel relieved...I'm sorry"

James continued his silence while Shay tried to keep her calm; he instinctively opened his hand for her to hold she did so tightly as she placed her other hand on top of his. "Thank you" James finally spoke, Shay looked at him confused "For what," she said sniffing her nose "You kept me from making the worst decision ever" he smiled at her as he wiped her tears.

Finally, her tears stopped streaming down her face and she calmed down, it amazed Shay how at peace she could be knowing he understood her and how he was there for her despite having the opportunity to just leave her.

"Everyone's got baggage often we always want it off our backs it kills us but we just need to break free" Shay smiled at Jame's word "Thank you" "Thank you too"