Chapter 26: Piece of Glass
I was sitting on the edge of my bed while watching Kristan feed Lilly on the floor. The attention he was giving to her was making me more stressed.
"You are stuffed!" He gave her a gentle pat on the head. As if eating the food you didn't prepare yourself was something to be proud of. "Aright. I will just clean up. Stay put, Lilly."
He carried Lilly and placed it on the side as he cleaned the mess. I waited for him to realize that I was also here, but he finished cleaning and still had no attention for me.
I live for attention, and being deprived of it feels like dying.
I'm dying, and he's unaware.
I sighed in silence as I stood and walked to the balcony. The cold morning breeze embraced my bare face and swayed my hair on the back. Humawak ako sa railing saka tinanaw ang malawak na hardin.
My vampire sickness is getting more severe as I try to find the cure. Looking at it now, I don't think I will ever find the cure. Maybe just answer my questions— a thousand questions.
It's absurd how a thousand questions only need one answer.
There's no such thing as vampire sickness. I just invented it because I don't know how to call it. It's a sickness because it gives me stress, questions, and unexplained feelings. It also makes me vulnerable and unaware. These are the sign of a frail vampire. I am not weak.
Naramdaman kong tumabi sa akin si Kristan pero hindi ko siya tiningnan. Gusto kong gayahin ang pagbabalewala niya sa akin.
"What's your reason for coming back here?" he questioned.
Questions after questions. It's getting tiring now. When will he learn to settle with what he knows and not to venture into more? If I am willing to share it, he won't need to ask me.
"This is my home."
"You don't look at home at all."
That's when I turned my attention to him. Nahuli ko ang kanyang tingin. Ginagalaw ng hangin ang kanyang buhok habang diretso ang tingin sa akin.
"What do you know about home? You don't even have a home!" I wanted to scream that, but I held my words and swallowed them all for the first time.
Fucking vampire sickness!
"Nathalia..." His stern look added weight to the seriousness of his voice while staring at me. "I can't forever live wondering about my past."
I was lost with words. Sa kagustuhan kong makakuha ng sagot sa mga tanong ko, siya naman ang napuno ng katanungan.
I shouldn't give a fuck!
"Y-you told me that..." He swallowed, and his next question swayed me. "You revived me. That means... I died first. How did I die?"
I looked away.
He didn't just die. My brother killed him.
How can I explain that to him?
This is vampire sickness— the feeling of being afraid that if he finds out about that, something about him will change. I don't want him to change.
"Nathalia..."
"I don't know the exact details. I just found you lying on the ground," I said what I just saw.
That's exactly what happened. Nakita ko na lang siyang walang buhay sa sahig at nakahiwalay ang puso mula sa kanyang dibdib. Except that I knew the reason behind, but I wasn't there it was executed.
