Chapter 28: Confrontation
Looking at his expression, I am sure he didn't get what I meant by my offer. Neither do I. But I am certain that I want him to say yes. I badly want him to accept my offer, no matter how obscured it is.
"A home..." he paused and blew a breath. "You sure offering me a home?"
I nodded. "I am."
"Okay..." he nodded, but I could still say he didn't completely get it. "But... what is home to you, Lady Nathalia?"
"Home..." I grasped for words. "Is with me."
His lips slightly parted. Hindi makapaniwalang tiningnan niya ako saka mahinang tumawa. Tinanaw niya sina Erikson at Hestia na mukhang nakalayo na bago muling humarap sa akin.
"Maybe this is just one of those days." He exhaled and coolly slid his hands inside the pocket of his leather jacket. "Do you need some rest, milady?"
I felt embarrassed by his question. Pakiramdam ko ay inaasar na lang niya ako. Really? That's all? After I said the foulest words ever? Is he even aware of how risky it is for someone like me to say such? I bet no. Of course, he doesn't.
But I am not backing out with my words. Not now that I am certain, he's not becoming something to me. He's now something to me. But he's dumb.
"Shall we go now?" he offered.
I shook my head and stood still. "Just say yes first."
"I can't say yes about something I am uncertain about," he groaned and slightly pouted his lips. "Plus, you are asking here, right? I am not sure."
"Ang arte mo. Kung ayaw mo, e 'di huwag!"
I walked past him and immediately created a huge distance between us. When I noticed that he had difficulty catching up to my speed, I slowed down.
"You are fast..." He walked beside me. "I'm sorry, but I don't really understand."
He didn't get a response from me. Kung hindi rin niya ako sasagutin, wala akong nakikitang rason para kausapin ko pa siya. Ang simple lang naman ng sinabi ko.
He cleared his throat. "I'm sorry. But I need a few more details about this... uhm... home. Hindi naman kasi puwedeng pumayag ako agad."
"Bold of you to assume that slaves have options."
"Oh?"
"You are aware that..." Tumigil ako sa paglalakad para harapin siya. He was smiling while I was struggling. What a perfect contrast. "The slaves are not permanent companions, aren't you?"
He slowly nodded. "Maybe? I just found out now."
"Now you know."
"Uhmm..." Tumagilid ang ulo niya saka siya tumango kahit hindi na naman niya ako naintindihan. Nagseryoso ang mukha niya. "So... what's really your point?"
"You have been a good servant to me, Kristan," diretsong sagot ko sa seryosong boses din. "You are becoming better as time passes by."
He awkwardly smiled.
Lumunok ako. "Gusto kong ako lang ang pagsisilbihan mo. Gusto kong sa akin ka pa rin uuwi. Sa akin ka lang uuwi. Sa akin lagi."
I said it—another foul words.
I'm not sure why Oscar let go of Celeste, but one thing is sure. I won't do that to Kristan.
I am happy with him. I want him.
I said it before, and I will say it again. I am not like my family. I have my own decisions. My principles. My own life to live.
I am bound to no one.
