Chapter 44: Last Night
His body was as cold as ice, but his touch brought a warm and cozy feeling which I think I needed at this moment. I needed to get my shits together and think about my recent decisions. But I just couldn't right now.
Kristan was on top of me, thrusting, panting, touching, and crossing all my restricted parts. The worse part was that I allowed him. I've always allowed him to cross the limits I built up to protect my peace and freedom.
I'm becoming too comfortable with him.
Am I risking too much here?
But then again, I already risked everything when I stood up for him against my own father. Pinaglaban ko siya sa isa sa mga dapat na hindi ko dapat binabangga.
"What's the matter?" he asked, suddenly stopping moving, but I could still feel him inside me. Hinawakan niya ang pisngi ko saka hinawi ang ilang hibla ng buhok.
That simple touch gave me the most comfortable feeling.
He was feeling the moment through his bloody red eyes, but as soon as he noticed I was acting unusually, they returned to their normal hues. The intimacy building up was gone.
"Did I just make you feel disgusted by pushing you into this for-sale bed?" he inquired, his eyes filled with concern. "Is that what bothers you?"
I wanted to say no or just shake my head. But all I did was stare at him and be unresponsive. Doon siya tila nabahala. Umalis siya sa ibabaw ko saka humiga sa tabi ko. Hinarap niya ako sa kanya.
"Are we thinking about the same thing?" he whispered.
I had no idea what he was talking about, but for some reason, I think we were mutually thinking about the same thing. I really hope so because I'm at a loss for words.
"What do you know?" I whispered.
"Just the necessary thing I had to know or should have known from the start," his voice matched his expression. "How could someone who doesn't have a heart feel something so heartfelt?"
I chuckled and shook my head. "You have my blood. That makes us linked. Siguro kaya mo nararamdaman ito ay dahil nararamdaman ko rin. Like I told you, you have no heart because I am supposed to be your heart."
He nodded. "That completely makes sense."
Lumipas ang ilang minuto na walang nagsasalita sa amin. Nakatingin lang siya sa mukha ko na parang kinakabisado ang bawat anggulo nito.
I just stared at the high ceiling of this mall. Naramdaman kong hinaplos ni Kristan ang aking mukha. Napapikit ako at dinama ang sandaling ito.
I love every moment with him.
"Nathalia..." binulong niya ang pangalan ko. "Hindi ka ba nagsisisi na binuhay mo ako?"
I didn't hesitate when I said, "I do. I do regret everything."
"I understand. Sa tingin ko ay wala akong magagawa sa bagay na 'yan. I have no power over your decisions, nor can you take back what's done. The least I can do is make it worth it."
"No."
"Be with you..."
"No," I said as I opened my eyes and looked at him. "You're a part of this, Kristan. You can't just be with me after everything. You have to suffer as well."
He smiled. "Then, I will suffer with you."
"Let's anger them even more," I grinned.
I climbed on top of him, kissed him harder, touched him tighter, and desperately claimed him more than I had ever claimed anyone.
