I've always felt, like there has always been something wrong in me compared to other people, I don't know what exactly it is but I've always felt sort of ostracized like people are just drawn away from me no matter what I do, something about me is just unnerving or unattractive. I've always tried to be friendlier, maybe less odd, but it never seems to work. I've tried to just give up and just not care but I know deep down I care, and I'm desperate. Is it my personality? My looks? What is it? I don't know, and I'm scared I never will. These things transfer into my work when I can't help but feel like the world is just turned against me and no matter how hard I try, I'm just not made for whatever I try, even the things I love, I can never quite identify with the people who I should be just like. Something is just slightly skewed, and I feel caught between so many identities that I want to be so so badly, but I just can't. I've been this way even since a young age, for as long as I can remember, I've switched my personality 50 different times just to see what it is, but it never seems to work. But now I'm confused, and I feel void of emotion, and I really don't know who I am, like an imposter in my own skin. I feel so terrified that I'm just going to fail, like I do at everything I try, I just quit because I'm never naturally good at anything I ever do so what's the point, I don't know and I just don't care anymore.
- Eli
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Cracks In The Concrete
PoetryThis book is the progress I make over the years trying to detangle years of childhood trauma and mental issue's. To anyone else it may seem completely incomprehensible but that's okay. I write for the reason all writers write, paper is a better lis...
