Anna || HS

CHAPTER 24

~ November 2012- April 2013~
Anna- 18-19
Harry- 18-19

~November 2012~

Anna POV:

The fall semester of my junior year at my new school started uneventful, thankfully. In the first couple months, I met a friend who happened to be in a bunch of Architecture classes with me, and we just clicked. Allison had broken up with her boyfriend in October, and was in desperate need of a place to rent on short notice. So, I decided to offer for her a room at the cottage until she could find a different option.

Living with Allison, Alli for short, was actually fantastic, so I just asked her to stay through the year. I'd been lonely since Antonin left, and having her around kept my mind occupied with things other than wondering what Harry was doing, or where in the world he was on any given day. Funny how the boy who never left Holmes Chapel was now the one going on all the adventures.

When mom visited the end of August, we talked, far too many times, about Harry. After Antonin left, and I was alone, I developed, or maybe uncovered, complicated feelings for him. Only made worse by his little South Carolina 'vacation' stunt.

I decided that I needed someone to help me sort them all out. She suggested I connect again with Dr.Holcombe, the therapist I had seen for both my dad's death and Darcy's.

~December  2012~

Now, I have been working with her for around five weeks. During our most recent session, she laid everything out for me in a way that I could finally take action.

"So, you say that he has done a lot of things that caused him to lose your trust, yes?" Dr. Holcombe questions.

"Well, he cheated on me. Then, he cheated on someone else. Then, he planned a vacation in my backyard to make me crazy'" I reply. "And the paparazzi- the internet- the constant hum of people having an opinion about everything didn't help either."

"Now, how much of that was something that Harry could control?" she simply poses to me as less of a question and more of some food for thought.

I think for a minute, and I know what she's getting at. I'm blaming him for a lot of things in his past that he had no control over. But, there is still the one thing that happened that he could have controlled, and I'm stuck on that today. "The only part of it he could have controlled is not sticking his dick inside someone else's vagina," I say in a petty voice.

Ever the professional, she simply nods at my eloquent statement and continues, "so, there are two questions I think you need to work on answering here. ONE- can you forgive Harry?" I nod when she says this, agreeing this is a question I need to answer, not that I have an answer. "And TWO- can you trust him?"

"You make it sound so easy."

"It's far from easy, Anna. These are some of the most difficult things we, as humans, can do. Forgive and trust the people that hurt us." She looks down at her notes and opens to a new page. "This week, I want you to write Harry a letter about why you can or can't forgive him."

This woman and her damn letters.

"To clarify," she adds, "I am not looking for a specific answer here. I just think that it might be time for you to be brutally honest with yourself," she adds, making me more confused than ever.

I leave the appointment, walking barefoot along the beach, trying to come up with my answer to her question. After walking for far too long, I climb the stairs and sit down on the back porch to write. I start the letter many times. Crumpling and tearing bunches of paper, before I start to just speak out loud, the only words I can come up with.