Dear Jennie

Chapter 11

Dear Jennie,

Wearing a white dress, walking down the aisle holding a bunch of white flowers with a beautiful smile on the lips while staring at someone you love the most waiting you at the altar and sealed together the promises of an everlasting love is every girl's dream. Dream that you have told me way back when we were still trainees. I could still remember how you shared your dream wedding when you find the perfect person that you will share your life with.

Jen, today is the day that you've been dreamed of. As you stood in front of the closed door waiting to be opened and walked slowly on the aisle in front of many people, I felt like I can't do it anymore. I can't watch you and witness it myself. It's so heavy to bear. So with an ounce of energy I had left, I removed my camera from my neck, gave it to my assistant photographer and apologized to Niki for not doing it which she completely understands. But before I could do that, I saw the sadness swimming in my co-members' eyes as I stared at Jisoo unnie and Chaeyoung. They were so concerned about me. They know the agony that I felt right now. But before breaking down in tears, I just smiled weakly at them before walking away.

I can't do it Jennie. I just can't.

If you would asked me where will I go, I do not know as of this moment. What I know is, I want to escape from everything. From my feelings, my pain, and my sadness.

I love you Jennie, but I guess this is the time of finally letting you go. Hoping that one day, I could free myself from everything - especially from you.

Love,
Your Forever Lili 💕

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