Emotions

Living together

I woke up feeling so... neutral! And that turned into happiness. Happy that I wasn't absorbing any negativity.

I was so full of energy! I just wanted to jump around all over the place. It was still really early since I had slept in the bus, I hadn't been that tired. Plus no negativity was being absorbed. I smiled widly as I thought to myself. I practically ran down the stairs, to the kitchen, to cook breakfast.

I had left my phone on the couch yesterday when we got here so I ran to the couch excitedly, grabbed my phone and ran excitedly back to the kitchen. I put on some music and started taking out pans, eggs, bacon, bread for toast and a spatula.

I knew how to cook, obviously, since my mom didn't worry if I ate I had to make sure I ate myself. She used to make me stuff to eat when I was little but not because she was worried, it was just a motherly thing. Love I guess. She stopped when I got older though because she saw me as responsible and mature. She still loved me but it was like she wasn't even my mother.

She didn't worry about me. She loved me but she couldn't worry about me. She couldn't worry if I was stressed. She didn't worry if I was maybe not old enough to be left alone all the time. 'Cause as soon as she started to worry, she came within my radius so it's not her fault. I just made it impossible for anyone to ever worry about me, or feel anything negative around me.

People don't realize it but sometimes negativity helps solve problems. Like if my mom could worry it would protect me. Or if someone was in an abusive relationship, those negative emotions could help give them the will to leave.

I had made all the bacon and two sunny side up eggs. One for me and one for Lief. I was also making scrambled eggs for us two just so we could have choice. I had put the bread in the toaster oven as I made the scrambled eggs.

When I went to carry the plates to the table I almost dripped them as I saw Leif standing there looking at me with a small smile.

How long was he standing there?! DID HE SEE ME DANCING?! How embarrassing. I felt my cheeks flush as I spoke, "I made breakfast." I held the plates up a little as if he couldn't see them and walked over to the table putting the plates down.

"Mmm," he hummed, "I see. Your pretty happy in the morning, huh?"

"Oh... uh, not really. Just that I'm n- Uh. Nevermind," I caught myself before I told him about my ability.

"What? What were you gonna say?"

"Nothing," I said quickly as I sat down and avoided eye contact as he also sat down.

"Ok," he shrugged, "your dancing was cute though."

I felt myself go red. At least he didn't get angry that I didn't tell him what I was gonna say.

"You're cute," Leif said almost unaudiably.

"Huh?" I questioned looking at him puzzled.

"Uh- nothing," he said quickly. Just like I had only a few minutes earlier, and just like him I shrugged and said, "ok."

I started making things out of things I found lying around the cabin. Broken things, garbage, all that. I finally had energy to do this kind of stuff. I was like a little kid making all this stuff and giving it to Lief asking if he liked it. He looked at it for a few minutes everytime, smiled and said he loved it. He already had a handful of stuff and we were only halfway through the day.

I made him a bracelet using leaves and little stones that weaved in together. I made him a paper flower with a broken piece of metal as the stem. It was a bendable metal that I don't know what it was used for. I curled it with much effort and shaped it into a stem with a leaf. The paper I had used looked like some old mail that wasn't important. Lastly I found an old broken pin. Amazing what you can find in this cabin. I used a combination of things to make a leaf to put on the pin.

"Like your name," I smiled as I handed it to him.

He smiled, "yeah." After that I decided that I didn't want to make things anymore but I didn't know what to do.

"Lief, what do you wanna do?"

"What do you want to do?"

"I don't know! That's why I'm asking you!" We both laughed.

"What would you like for lunch?" Lief asked.

"Lunch? I don't eat lunch when I'm not in school," I said nonchalantly.

Lief suddenly got very serious. "What?"

"What?" I asked back, confused on what I did wrong.

"You said you don't eat lunch unless your at school. Do you starve yourself?!"

"Huh? No. Are you crazy? I'm just too tired to make lunch so I just make breakfast and dinner."

"Too tired? Why? You're home."

"Well yeah but-" I stopped realizing how tired I was right now. Leifs negative emotions. I was feeling it before but since I hadn't been feeling any through the night I was well rested enough to not feel the effects too much. Now I was tired though.

"OK. I'll make lunch," I said tirdly moving to walk past him to the kitchen. When I tried to go though, he wouldn't let me.

"Are you okay?" He asked worridly. Ugh! His worry was so consistent that he stood worried even though I was absorbing it.

"Stop," I suddenly said. I hadn't been feeling like this for the whole night and morning. I never realized how terrible it truly is.

"Huh- Oh my- what happened?!"

I felt the tears stream down my face and felt his worry get stronger. Ugh! How do I make him stop?!

Stop, stop, stop, stop STOP!

Without any more thought, I grabbed his face and smashed my lips against his.

His worry dissipated and I relaxed. I pulled away from the kiss feeling relieved that they're was no more negative emotions.

Leif looked at me in shock and I smiled. "No more worrying ok?"

Leif turned and sat on the couch. I frowned. Was he okay? Oh no. Was this his first kiss? I mean, it was my first kiss too but people have different views. Dammit! I let the negativity make me irrational. One night and most of the day and I already forgot how terrible the negativity is. I'm gonna have to become accustomed to it again. It'll probably start off at being irrational and then going back to the usual tiredness.

I went and sat on Liefs lap giving him a hug. "Sorry," I whispered, my breath on his neck, "that was stupid, I just... I-" I suddenly felt something poke my thigh. My eyebrows furrowed as I shifted trying to get more comfortable. Maybe I should get off Lief. Is he feeling better? I mean he wasn't releasing any negative emotions but...

I stopped shifting and rose my eyes to meet his. He was red. "Are you okay?" I asked worridly, "are you sick?" I felt his forehead with the back of my head.

He got more red and quickly said, "I'm fine."I looked at him skeptically. "Really! I am. I just need to... ummm... I'm just... tired! Yeah, I'm tired."

"Oh, ok," I said relaxing a bit. That made sense I guess.

Lief put his hands on my waist to move me off but stopped as his hands were there. I looked at him confusedly. Suddenly he put his arms around me and pulled me closer to him. I gasped in suprise. He held me for a few seconds before he let me go.

When he let me go he turned so that he was over me but still hugging me. Then he let go and ran up the steps.

I felt my face go red. What was that? Oh my God. I am definitely not used to feeling embarrassed. I'm usually too tired but right now... my face grew more red. This is so weird.

I hope this is good. Please give any feedback you would like.