Obey Me! X Reader (Oneshots) DISCONTINUED

Diavolo❤( If Only)

I had only wished things to be different, that somehow you and I could be better together than we are apart. If only I had realized how much my heart longed for you after I had lost you to my selfishness. If only you and I were different or even so just me… I had realized that I had only loved you, nothing else as if you were the air in my lungs in which I needed to live, the blood that runs through my very being to keep me alive each day.

I wonder if I had shown enough desperation in my tone would that have allowed you to come back?
.
.
.

“You know you can’t always get the things you most desire right?” a small voice hums out, this caught his attention. He was aware of that fact he didn’t need another to tell him, the fact that they had made something grow in him, annoyance.

“I don’t need someone to tell me something I already know” he finds himself scoffing out with an irritated tone. Such an attitude was out of his character and he was not sure why he was feeling this way. Nor did he care to find out.

“You say that, but look at where you are now. Trying desperately to get a plan you have been working on for hundreds of years to succeed.'' Their response takes a deeper cut than it had been meant to, yet he found himself understanding what he was working for.

“Have you no belief in it?” he whispers, his voice breaking at the thought of them no longer agreeing with this plan, the plan he had only wanted to be started for them. So that maybe one day they wouldn’t have to worry about the hatred both would face. The hatred of the world they both had grown so used to.

“I only wish for your success..” they whisper, catching his attention once again this time every emotion that he had felt before slips away. The look in their eyes was enough to know he was in the wrong, that he was helpless when it came to them. A brilliant light was what they had been to him, a light he had no intention of wanting to let go of. “I wish that things could be different, or maybe so, we were different. Could you allow me to feel such a way?” they ask, desperation slipping past their lips as they only look at him. Eyes he drowns in as he stares at them with longing desperation to only have them close. He reaches his hand out to touch them, yet stops when his fingers are inches away.

“I fear that is something I cannot let you feel. If we were different what would allow us to be with each other like we are now?” he mutters, pushing himself out of the chair he found himself in before they came along. Pain is evident in his voice as each word he speaks is foreign to him, he feels the racing heart that pounds in his chest harshly speed up. “Could you even love me as you do now? A demon worthy of such affection he has done nothing to earn?” his voice roughly pours from his lips as his hand reaches once more out to them, this time not backing away as he takes their cold into his. “ It is fate that you and I are able to have this moment. Fate is what allows people to meet.” he whispers out, not letting them speak as they lean against his touch. He senses that they wanted to fall into his embrace but something had been holding them back, they both knew what it was. Fear. it was a thing every being felt even if it was just once. He too often felt fearful of the situation they had been in, the fear that haunts him of losing them. He was unsure he could live with himself if they were ever to leave.

“You wish us to stay the same? Would you hesitate to love me if I was any different?” the words escape them in a scoff almost as if they were not words but more harsh breaths of a disapproving nature.

“I would not want you to change for me, I would be unable to live with myself if I knew that is why you were changing. I will love you no matter what you may become.” hesitation falls into their eyes and he grows aware that they do not believe him, even if he had never lied to them. He found himself unable to lie to them. He wished they would believe the words he was to say or even sense that he was truthful in his affection.

“Diavolo, I fear that something must happen…” his heart breaks knowing what is to come, knowing the next thing they are to speak. And at that moment he feels the tears he had been fighting back finally fall from his eyes. They pull away from him, he feels the burning sensation of where their skin once had met his. It haunts him as if they would never come back, and he feared that may be the case. “I must leave, we should end this now before you get hurt.”

“Will you not be hurt?” he snaps, sadness seeping into his voice as it claws at his very being. The lack of feeling they had or so he felt they did, pained him much more than anything he had ever felt. “Have you no regret of anything?”

“Do you think this is easy?” they snap causing the demon to jump a little at the tone. “You think I want to do this!” their voice had begun to pick up and he knew once more he was wrong. Maybe they had both been foolish to think something like this could work. Or maybe it had just been him who was foolish. Allowing a perfect stranger to catch his eye, allowing them to take over his very being as if they were all he ever knew.

“Then stay with me.” the words leaving him before he could wish to stop them, eyes burn into him as if he was nothing. The ones he had always found himself lost were ones of an unfamiliar feeling, as emotion lacked behind them.

“I can’t you know this is best for us. Please don’t make me stay…” he would be lying if he said that this outcome was unexpected, that this was how they would end. Lying if he said he let them go without an ounce of hesitation. He no longer can find the words that wish to leave as he stays in the ever-growing silence. The silence that he so desperately hated but found himself often crawling back into, as if silence was an old friend of his. Though he never once believed it was a friend, he soon would be convinced it was. Without another word they leave, he can’t help but stare at them, hoping that they would come back and that this was some nightmare that he would wake up from when the moment was right. But as the minutes go by and his heart hurts. He realizes that this was in fact not a dream, but rather a painful truth he should come to realize… if only he could write a different ending, if only they had chosen to stay…