double dealing - nct, chensung

⇄ 23 ⇄

jisung was sitting on his couch, his eyes focused on the tv displaying a nct dream music video. it was the latest song that had been released a few days ago, and jisung had been completely obsessed with it, making him spend days watching the mv without ever getting bored.

it had been one year since the last time jisung had had an interaction with nct.

a whole year in which jisung had isolated himself and stayed on his own, far from everything.

the former mafia leader had disappeared from everyone's lives, as promised.

no one had heard of him, or death park ever since.

it was as if they had never existed.

jisung had moved in one of the many fancy houses his parents had illegally bought when they were still alive. it was a small mansion in the middle of a forest, far from everything, and where no one dared to show up.

no one actually knew the location of this house; not even his godfather with whom he was still in contact, but rarely.

jisung was all alone, but he felt like it was better that way.

during this whole year of being on his own, jisung had realised how badly he missed his past life. having the other nct members around him was luxury, and now that it wasn't the case anymore, jisung was aware of how mucky he was before, and how bad he had fucked up by leaving them.

despite his cold heart, jisung had found himself crying to sleep quite a few times because of how much he hated being far from his members. but these times were nothing compared to the number of times he cried because of chenle.

zhong chenle...

that chinese boy that had completely flipped jisung's world upside down.

it had been one year since jisung had been able to see him and to touch him, and jisung absolutely couldn't say that he was doing great without him.

he was so miserable, and the worst part of it was that he was fully aware of it.

jisung spent most of his days watching nct mvs or reality shows to feel closer to his members. even with jisung leaving the group and sm entertainment dissolving, nct had signed under another agency and made even more shows and music videos; and this gave more content for jisung to watch – even if he had already watched it all.

he loved seeing his members laughing together; it made him recall the good times he used to live when he was still with them.

and jisung would also watch chenle content, either video compilations of his cute moments or just pictures taken from mvs or interviews on which the older boy looked absolutely gorgeous.

running away from nct, jisung imagined that his feelings for the chinese male would die down slowly until they weren't existing anymore. however, it wasn't the case.

in fact, it was as if they had gotten even stronger, as if some invisible force attracted jisung towards chenle.

jisung truly wondered if chenle still felt the same about him. he wondered if chenle's feelings had changed, grown bigger or disappeared... or even if he had found himself someone else to be with... these thoughts were enough to make jisung cry again. the sole thought of someone else hanging around his chenle made him mad. but not mad at this imaginary other person chenle would fall for. it made him mad at himself.

chenle had been right.

jisung could have left dark danger using chenle as a bait. he would still have the live he had. being at the head of a mafia, being nct's maknae, and getting closer to becoming chenle's boyfriend.