Helluva Autopsy

The Calm Before The Storm

        Forgive me, my memories of the next part are a bit hazy...I remember back on Earth, I had my own radio show just like I do now, here in Hell...I, unfortunately am unable to remember very much of what it was about...Funny how Hell has a way of obscuring your positive memories whilst making sure you remember your most negative memories in vivid detail...I remember I use to sing on that show from time to time and that I use to interview people, just like I do now...I just cannot for the life of me remember any details...

        I recall some of what happened on the day everything went horribly wrong...The day that was the beginning of the end of my life...Fabian was a Kindergarten schoolteacher in his lifetime. I remember that day that he brought his entire class up to the radio station for a field-trip, his youngest daughter included...I truly am sorry but I am unable to remember what that day's broadcast was even about...I believe I sang a song that day, perhaps?

        Anywho, during the broadcast, at some point, Mini decided to develop a crush on me...When the broadcast was over, the entire class thought it would be fun to tackle me to the ground...You know how kids are? That was when Mini took the opportunity to kiss me on the lips with her wretched, little mouth...I pulled her aside and I explained to her that it was inappropriate to kiss anyone other than her parents like that, I was truly livid...I thought that would be the end of it but little did I know that this brat would soon be planning her revenge.

        As Mr. Blitzo contacted the families of the sinkhole's latest victims and made funeral arrangements, Max made himself comfortable in the break-room so that he could finish off the rest of his coffee. Once Max had finished off the last of his coffee, he set his empty cup down on the table and began to text Millie since he missed her already. Max jumped when his coffee-cup suddenly fell off of the table and onto the floor. Perhaps he accidentally knocked it over with his elbow? Although, he did not recall doing so. Max picked his coffee cup back up and placed it back upon the table only to be startled when it was suddenly, seemingly flung from the table.

         Max rubbed his eyes in disbelief as he mentally attempted to reassure himself that he simply missed the table due to exhaustion. He once again retrieved his cup from the floor in order to toss it into the trash before heading to the restroom. After quickly relieving himself of all the coffee he drank, Max made his way over to the sink to wash his hands before splashing some of the cold water onto his face. When Max looked back up at his reflection in the bathroom-mirror, he was horrified to see that his face was now bright-red, his freckles white in contrast to his new complexion. His eyes were now amber and catlike, his hair now bright-white with striped horns sprouting from his head.

        Nausea overcame Max before he could even have time to register his strange, new appearance as he rushed over to the nearest toilet to vomit. A black, tar-like substance spilled from his throat and it held the foul, stench of rotten flesh. After he finished emptying the contents of his stomach, Max stumbled back over to the mirror only to find that his face had returned to normal. Max panted softly from relief as he reached up to feel his face in order to make sure that all was well. At least his shift would be over soon so he could finally go home and get some rest.

        "MAX?!" Max then jumped upon hearing his boss bellow his name from the embalming room. Max began to mumble curses against his boss from beneath his breath before exiting the restrooms and making his way back into the morgue area where Mr. Blitzo impatiently awaited his arrival.

        "Where the Hell have ya been?! Time is money, Max!" Mr. Blitzo demanded with a scolding tone.

        "I just needed to use the restroom, Sir..." Max replied with irritation clear in his tone as he was nearing the end of his tether with his boss.