Josephine's pov It's been a few days since then and well...the floor I was on was Steve's so I was going to move back to mine but Bucky offered me space on his. He didn't want me to be alone. He's even encouraged me to start music again. And I have. I've been writing about what happened. I've been writing a song called traitor. Steve never tried to make amends, though I wouldn't accept it even if he did. He seems content. I hate that he's okay but I'm not. I hate that my heart still speeds up when I see him. I hate how much closer the pair of them seem. I hate that I was once friends with Natasha actually and she did this. I hate that he did this to me after everything we've been through. I hate that I went as far as saving his life and putting mine in danger on missions. I hate that I let myself love him when he never showed that he loved me too. Not anymore anyway. He used to be all about me and then it changed.
Two weeks later
It's been two weeks and I got word that him and Natasha are official...and get this...they're telling one another they love each other. It still hurts but I act as if it doesn't. It's for the best. I fix the song and chuckle at the finished product. I've been struggling with it for a while now. Bucky looks at me "is it done?" The track has been for a while but the lyrics were tricky and I nod. He asks "can I hear it?" I nod and play the recording I made and sing
"Blue guilty eyes And little white lies I've played dumb but I always knew That you talked to her Maybe did even worse I kept quiet so I can keep you Aint it funny How you ran to her The second that we called it quits Aint it funny How you said you were friend Now it sure as hell don't look like it You betrayed me And I know that you'll never feel sorry For the way I hurt yeah You talked to her When we were together Loved you at your worst But that didn't matter It took you two weeks To go off and date her Guess you didn't cheat But you're still a traitor Now you bring her around Just to shut me down Show her off like she's a new trophy And I know if you were true There's no damn way that you Could fall in love with somebody That quickly Aint it funny All the twisted games All the questions you used to avoid Aint it funny Remember I brought her up And you told me I was paranoid You betrayed me And I know that you'll never Feel sorry for the way I hurt yeah You talk to her when we were together Loved you at your worst But that didn't matter It took you two weeks to go off and date her Guess you didn't cheat But you're still a traitor Ah, god I wish you had thought This through before I went and Fell in love with you Ah When she's sleeping in the bed we made don't you dare Forget about the way You betrayed me And I know that you'll never Feel sorry for the way I hurt Yeah you talked to her When we were together You gave me your word But that didn't matter It took you two weeks To go off and date her Guess you didn't cheat But you're still Your still a traitor ohh Yeah you're still a traitor God I wish that you had Thought this through Before I went and fell in love with you."
I finish with tears in my eyes. Bucky comes over and hugs me "that was amazing doll!" I chuckle "felt good to say" he smiles "good. Tony's holding a karaoke party tonight. You could get the chance to perform and let him know just how he hurt you" "that doesn't sound like a bad idea" I say. He smiles "it starts in a bit. Get dressed" I nod and I say "Bucky?" He stops and turns around and says "yes doll?" "Thank you...for everything" I say.
He smiles "you don't ever have to thank me for being good to you Josie." Walking out. I shower and on the way to my room I pause at the mirror. I look a bit bloated. Then again I've been eating nothing but junk food and my body is known for immediately putting on weight from it. I shrug it off and get dressed in
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I head out with Bucky and pause seeing Nat on Steve's lap as they kiss. A hand slides into mine and I look to Bucky and smile "I'm here Josie" I nod and we make our rounds with everyone but them. I can feel Steve's stare. Bucky keeps his arm wrapped around me and I don't mind it one bit. Bucky is an amazing person...I feel valued and safe with him...he cares about me and right now...that's what I need. Someone who cares. I take a soda not being a fan of alcohol. My father and his drinking when I was younger made me never want to touch it.
He wasn't loving like he tends to be now. And growing up I hated him for it. Pepper made him loving. Not me. Her. There's a lot of unresolved issues with me and my dad. We both don't like to talk about them. We'd rather sweep them away and move on and do better. I hook up my phone to the machine and download my track and sit again with Bucky, Wanda, and Thor. Wanda touches my hand "want me to hex him?" Talking about Steve. I shake my head "I'm...coping I guess. All I have to do is move on Wanda. Thank you though" "it must be hard seeing them" she says. I shrug "he didn't care as much as I did. And that's not on me"
Thor says "lady stark would you like to dance" I chuckle and as usual at these parties thor and I make fools of ourselves with our dancing and yelling lyrics of songs as someone who's doing karaoke sings. I join Bucky again and he chuckles "have fun?" I nod "yeah. I needed this. Thank you" he takes my hand again "don't thank me Josie you know I'd do anything for you" I smile and we continue watching people perform. It's almost my turn.
