perfect symmetry | zach louis

one.

"so marcus, I hope you consider me!" the video stopped. I winced at my own awkwardness as the host turned to marcus.

my favorite show, for the last year, had been a youtube podcast– the h3 podcast. I loved getting to know the crew, being involved in their online communities, and the comfort that the show brought me during tough times.

a month prior to this, the show had started having on a gues regularly, named marcus stevens. he was a musician, and had become a completely unironic friend of the show after they viewed a viral tiktok of his one episode.

marcus had mentioned on several occasions that he had been single for a long time, and ethan took this as the opportunity to revive the beloved "bacH3lor", a dating show on the podcast. the producer, dan, asked that viewers who were interested send him a short slideshow about themselves that answer a few questions for marcus. he would choose a top few to send in a video on the next episode.

I don't know what prompted me to send in my slideshow. I, like marcus, had been single forever. I was 23, fresh out of college, and had recently moved into my first solo apartment, where I spent every evening after work alone watching the h3 podcast. marcus was incredibly conventionally attractive, and much of the show's fanbase was pining for him every time he came on. part of me knew I wouldn't stand a chance, but I was searching for anything interesting to do these days.

despite what I would have expected, I managed to make it past the first round. marcus was unsure about me, but ultimately liked some of my stats, as listed on my slideshow. being 5'9" was enough for me to get the video round.

"BACH3LOR ROUND 2," read the email subject line. "reply to this email with a one minute video of you sharing a bit more about yourself."

now, a week later, I was faced with watching my face on my favorite show. even worse, I was watching marcus fall more and more disinterested as the video went on.

"what do you think marcus?" ethan leaned back in his chair, looking at marcus. "i'm sensing you're unsure." marcus sighed in response.

"yeah, I mean she's cute and all. seems like she's got great a sense of humor." he hesitated. "I don't know though, I'm just not sure, maybe I just don't do brunettes." he clearly didn't find me all that attractive, which stung a bit.

"I do." zach, the audio engineer, brashly piped in, chuckling as his face appeared on screen. my breath caught.

"jesus, zach." ethan laughed, putting his hands into his face. the screen switched to the crew giggling over his forwardness. "what, you think she's cute?"

"for sure!" he exclaimed, confidently.

"well, uh, carson, if you're into zach, he's single too." ethan chuckled again. "zach, you gotta chill, man."

and just like that, my time on the bacH3lor was over. but I was left feeling like there was something to be discovered. I had never seen zach like that. I thought he was funny on the show, but was left with my stomach in a knot knowing he found me attractive enough to say it out loud. I sent in my video with little expectations, knowing marcus was cute, sweet, clean, and the perfect boy next door.

zach louis was the opposite completely- more edgy, dirty, and rough around the edges- and he spoke his mind.