Venom// Minsung FF

Chapter Eight: Vulnerable

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen!" He reached out, but I pulled away from him. The whole world was spinning and I was struggling to control my erratic breathing. My fingers wrapped around my throat and I began practically clawing at it, in a desperate attempt to open up my airways. This was the worst feeling. No amount of oxygen I sucked into my lungs would ever be enough.

"I-I can't breathe." I choked out through loud, heavy breaths. Hyperventilation had well and truly set in. I knew it wouldn't be long before I was in a heap on the floor. My vision was going black and I was trying to focus on grounding myself once more so I could bring myself back from this.

"Five things I can see, four things I can touch, three things I can hear, two things I can smell, one thing I can taste." I repeated to myself, over and over, trying to control what was happening as my body hit the panic button in my head.

"H-Hanji? Are you ok?" Leeknow's small hand rested on my shoulder and I reached out to grab him. I needed something or someone to support my shaking body. My legs were about to give out. I fell into his chest and closed my eyes as tightly as I could.

"A-Anxiety." I mumbled into his warm chest. It was the only thing I could say quickly enough to explain what was happening to me. He nodded and seemed to understand the assignment. His arm slid around my shoulders, and his hand slowly circled around my back, trying to soothe me.

"Listen to my heartbeat Hanji. You can beat this. Breathe with me, ready?" He took my shoulders and placed two fingers under my chin. He lifted my head and inhaled loudly. I copied, and held the breath, despite my bodily instincts screaming at me to keep breathing as quickly and deeply as I possibly could. We both breathed out and he repeated this a few times, but with little to no effect. I couldn't stop thinking about the worst outcome.

What if someone had slipped her something deadly? What if she wasn't going to be ok? This was all my fault. If I had never let her go, this wouldn't have happened. A million more, much worse thoughts were swirling in my head and I couldn't stop the spiral.

I couldn't help heaving, as the nausea overcame me. Leeknow didn't hesitate. He swept me off of my feet and rushed me to the downstairs bathroom. He knew I was going to vomit, just as much as I did. He placed me down and I threw myself over the bowl. My stomach began emptying itself, and he gently held my hair, and rubbed my back as it happened. Embarrassment was now rushing through my body, sending all of my senses into overdrive, and ultimately making this panic attack even worse.

"I-I'm sorry." I whimpered, before heaving again. Nothing more would come up. My body was empty, but it still wanted to reject everything inside me.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. Just stay here until you feel better. What can I do to help you?" He asked, as genuine concern shone through his sultry tone.

"I-I dunno. Tell me a story. Something t-to distract me." It was the only thing I could think of. Mom used to do it when I was younger and eventually it would calm me down.  He didn't hesitate for even a second.

"When I was five, I broke my arm climbing a tree. Mom told me not to, but I wanted to prove I could do it. I don't know if you can tell or not, but I don't like being told no."

"Gee, I hadn't noticed." I muttered as I closed my eyes and focused on his voice. I reached up and pulled the flush, being careful not to let any of the liquid splash on my face.

"Anyway, I climbed the tree, but then I got stuck. I didn't want to admit I was stuck, so I tried to get down. I slipped on some moss, and fell out of the tree. Wanna hear the worst part?" He asked as his hand rested on my back once more. He began rubbing in a circular motion as I gripped the toilet as though my life depended on it.

"Y-Yes." I murmured as I tried to slow my breathing.

"We were due to go on holiday two days later and Mom had to cancel because I had to have an operation. She was so mad at me." He chuckled slightly and a small smile formed on my own lips.

"I bet she was."

"She told me if I ever climbed another tree she would make sure it wasn't just my bones that were broken." He burst into laughter and slapped his thigh gently, filling the room with a much lighter energy than my panic attack had. The pain in my chest was slowly easing off, my breathing was beginning to slow, and I could finally feel the tips of my fingers again.

"Tell me another." I requested as I sat back on my own feet and clutched my chest. I allowed my eyes to close once more, so I could block out the blinding lights. All of my senses were in overload, and I could only focus on one thing.

"Mom told me, the day Laney was born, I tried to convince my neighbour to trade her for his cat." That was the line. I burst into loud, wild laughter and shook my head from side to side.

"No way!"

"Hey in my defense, it was a beautiful ginger Tom cat and he was so friendly. All Laney did was cry and poop. I think I got the better end of the deal." I continued laughing loudly as he further explained and justified why the cat would have been infinitely better than Laney and I found myself totally absorbed in his dry sense of humour.

"Wow, you really are something Leeknow." I said as I opened my puffy red eyes and looked at him. An adorable, charming smile was on his face and he reached out to me. My instincts were to back away, but I didn't. I allowed him to use his sleeve to dry my tear soaked cheeks.

"You feeling better?" He asked as he stroked my face gently. I averted my gaze and nodded slightly. I hated anyone seeing me in this state. He was certainly the very last person I wanted to see me like this. He knew my secret. Not even Sarah knew about the extent of my anxiety.

"Thank you." I murmured as I toyed with the frayed edges of my oldest hoody and enjoyed the peaceful moment. He reached out and I was out of energy to fight him. He pulled me onto his lap and pressed my head against his chest.

"Don't thank me. Please. This was all my fault. I shouldn't have left her for even a second." His hand rested on the back of my head, and I found myself involuntarily wrapping my arms around his torso. He was surprisingly toned, and his muscles were definitely well worked on.

"Maybe I should have traded Sarah for a cat. Then I wouldn't have to worry so much." He chuckled and rested his head against mine. A loud long yawn escaped me, and this was one of the worst side effects. I would be physically and mentally exhausted for the next few days. I wouldn't be able to focus, and sleep would be an absolute necessity at the earliest opportunity.

"You're tired. Come on, let's get you to bed." He whispered into my ear. The small hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. I wanted to protest but I couldn't.

"Can I brush my teeth first? My mouth feels gross." I screwed up my face and he nodded before carefully lifting me. My arms dangled from his neck and I couldn't help frowning slightly.

"I can walk, I had a panic attack, that doesn't mean I've suddenly forgotten how to use my legs you know." I pointed out.

"I know, but I don't know when I'll get the opportunity to hold you again. You're always way too feisty. Not that I'm complaining. I like feisty."

"You're so weird Leeknow. What exactly is it that you want from me?" I was half asleep already and could barely focus on his words, but I heard them clearly enough.

"Don't you get it, babe, it's you. You're what I really want."

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Oh shiiiiiiiiii

Poor Han.... he's trying so hard to look after his sister....

I guess Leeknow is kind of garbage.... he's trying to cheat with his sisters boyfriend who happens to be his girlfriend's brother?!?!?!

I can't.

Lmao.

Anyway happy reading. Ilysm!

💜