Every Other Day I Die {bxb}

~ Chapter One ~

    The bell hit Adams headache like a tinkering hammer. The school year had just started and he didn't even want to be in school anymore, but his dad never wanted him in the house. He stood up, heaving his backpack on before making his way through the clambering hallways of the school. Other kids slammed their lockers, screamed or just spoke, it was all adding layers of pain to his headache and the buzzing lights didn't help either.
    After escaping the hallways he was in the sunshine. It was late September and the sun would be a lot more welcoming if it wasn't bruising the backs of his eyes the longer he had em open.
   He finally made it to his car, closing his door, gently, he sat there. He closed his eyes, rubbing them and relaxing for a bit, just breathing.

     Nothing really bad happened that day. In fact, it was a pretty nice day, the school was doing his favorite lunch. He finished one of his artworks today and woke up on time even. But honestly no one ever goes anywhere while "doing ok" and he wanted more attention for the hard work he did. Adam always thought this a selfish want, so he was always just seen as a gifted child that was always praised but only as a kid. Once he grew up that praise stopped coming. He never really knew why.

He sighed, opening his eyes finally, looking back into the sunlight. He closed his eyes again, reaching around the back seat for a pill bottle. He grabbed the Tylenol and took two of them, dry swallowing them as he reached for his water still in his backpack. He took two more Tylenol, then another 4. Finishing off his water bottle, he crunched it up and stuffed it into his bag. He turned on the car and drove half an hour to the ocean cliffs.

     Adam parked in the furthest end spot in the parking lot and got out of the car. The wind tumbled over the long pale grass and Adam watched as the grass twisted into patterns and shapes that only nature could create.

     How beautiful.

     The shoreline here was rocks, no sand. Waves crashed on waves. And the water chipped at rocks. Those rocks were sharp and there is a 105 yard fall directly on top of them. That was Adams final destination for the night. And he would listen as the waves would rock him to eternal sleep. Or so he had hoped.

     As he reached the cliffs edge he never wavered. He didn't hesitate when jumping the 6ft fence and he never faltered as the grass grew thinner slowly revealing just cliffs edge. But as he stood at the edge and looked out at the sea, he wondered how much the ocean would know him once he died. It would probably never even acknowledge his existence, because it is the ocean and he is just some kid.
     He cried as he looked out at the peachy horizon, hoping something might flow in him making him stop, but nothing ever did and he jumped.

     Time stops for no one,

     But he never hit the rocks.

    The next morning he woke up. All his clothes were taken off his bed and roughly put away and he was tucked in. The bedroom curtains were drawn, dumping sun directly onto his sleepy eyes, and he was still alive back at his house. He breathed in the smell of cigarettes that had ingrained itself into the carpets of his dads house. Stretching felt like both the worst and best thing ever. Popping his knuckles, neck and back before getting out of bed. Taking a quick hot shower felt really nice as he stretched and picked at old cuts. He got out of the shower and pulled on his black sweat pants, black hoodie with some steal toed combat boots.

   Adam left without saying bye to his dad.

   Adam's car was back in the driveway. He was confused. He knew he went out to the cliff side yesterday and he knew he jumped leaving his car behind? As he started up the engine he considered going to church to see if that was something explainable by god.

     Probably not

     Best not to think about it now, he'll try again tomorrow. He started up the car and sat for a second until it warmed up a little mor. Today he was gonna have fun with his favorite people before he leaves tomorrow. Then this time he might be able to say goodbye.

If u like the chapter please vote

Also, this is a pilot chapter almost, lots more words and dialogue will be used in the next chapter as well as a new character, please read more, if you have any ideas, please comment them, I'll read them all. Overall, this story has a lot to do with suicide and self harm, so if you can't handle that, PLEASE do not keep reading.

If you don't mind, please continue to enjoy and remember, not everyone is the same, if you or someone you know is struggling with depression don't hesitate to reach out today and check up on them.

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