Winter is for Lovers (Bucky Barnes X OC) [Book 1]

20. I'll Be Seeing You

"That wasn't so bad," Steve said lightheartedly as we touched the ground.

"That was horrible!" I shouted, unstrapping myself from him and rolling onto the ground. "Remind me never to do that ever again.

"You really don't like heights," he said, laughing.

"We're literally about to go onto enemy lines, and you're taking this time to make fun of me?!" I said, huffing and crossing my arms.

He shrugged, and I punched him in the arm, making him laugh more.

"It is not funny, Steve Rogers!" I said, laughing with him. "This whole experience has been emotionally traumatizing."

Our laughter faded, and we continued North on foot in comfortable silence.

"How have you been, Hazel?" He asked me, and I sighed in response.

"Busy enough not to realize how lonely I've been. James is missing, possibly dead, you're off playing hero Captain America, and I've been here, playing Doctor."

"War is Hell, Haze. It seems you've seen the cost of that firsthand," he said as we continued walking.

"War isn't Hell," I said to him. "War is war, and Hell is Hell."

"What's the difference?" He asked.

"War makes the innocent suffer," I said. "Hell only punishes those who deserve it."

He was silent, taking my words to heart with him.

"My father said that once," I said to him. "I've heard the stories these men have come back with, the horrors they've seen." The air started to feel very thin, making it hard to breathe. "The number of mangled bodies I've tried to repair in the last few months alone is thousands of times worse than what I was used to in Brooklyn."

He looked over at me, seeing that I was shaking, but not from the cold. I was twisting and pulling at my hair, close to the point of ripping it out of my scalp. He took my hand, squeezing it to let me know I wasn't alone.

He was letting me know that he was scared too.

"We're gonna find him," he said to me. "We're gonna find him and bring him home."

"I know we will," I said to him, smiling softly up at him. "Because I don't know what we're going to do if we don't."

"You really care about him," he said, looking around the weird area we were secluded in.

"I love him, Steve," I said to him. "I've never loved anyone or anything the way I love him, Steve."

I should have told him that we got married, but something in my brain held it back like it was a sweet secret that only Bucky and I were to know.

"What about Stark?" He asked, and I sighed, knowing that question was coming.

"What about Stark?" I asked him.

"You two seem to be... close."

"Howard is a friend and a colleague," I said to him, taking my hand back from him. "He's a flirt and knows no boundaries, but I don't see him as anything more than a friend."

"Uh-huh," Steve said, not sounding convinced. I rolled my eyes at him.

"She likes you, you know," he looked over at me, confused. "Peggy does."

He raised an eyebrow at me, still confused. 

"Agent Carter?" I said, scoffing at him.

"Oh," was all he said, and I shook my head, chuckling to myself.