How is life like toilet paper? You're either on a roll or taking s*** from someone.
What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What do you get when you jingle Santa's balls? A white Christmas!
A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the neatest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." "No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream."
Why did the squirrel swim on its back? To keep its nuts dry.
