Doesn't deserve good things (Kaminari)

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A/N: This is a bit of a mess, but you get the point I guess

"Why? Why? Why?" you muttered to yourself and smacked the edge of the sink a couple times.

You hated this, your mood could be fine one minute and after a few hours you would feel like crap for no particular reason.

"Maybe it would be better if I just died, then I wouldn't have to deal with this and no one would have to deal with me" you sighed and walked out of the bathroom, trying to keep up the facade that everything was fine and like you weren't standing on the edge of a cliff.

It was the weekend, but it was a quiet evening in the dorms. Some of your classmates were watching TV and some were eating something in the kitchen before going to turn in for the night. You decided to go get yourself some cereal, before going back to your dorm room and going to sleep.

"Hey babe" Kaminari greeted and gave you a quick kiss on the cheek as he passed you on his way to the fridge.

"Hey" you said a bit dismissively.

Kaminari noticed the tone of your voice being a bit off, but he decided not to mention it in front of the others. He knew you didn't like sharing your troubles, but he made a mental note to ask you about it later.

You grabbed your bowl of cereal and walked to your room, you didn't feel like eating with the others. You closed your door, but you stumbled on a shirt that you had left on the floor, and the cereal bowl went flying onto your carpet, spilling everywhere.

You sunk to the floor and hit the carpet, tears welling up in your eyes. You started cleaning up the mess while sobbing quietly. The bowl was laying upside down on the carpet, so you turned it back upright and started scooping the cereal back into it with your hands. A part of your carpet had been soaked with milk.

"Fuck" you sobbed and sat down next to the cereal bowl, leaning against the wall.

You pulled your knees to your chest, trying to keep your voice down while you sobbed. Suddenly, there was a knock on your door, and a familiar voice asked: "Hey (Name)? Can I come in?"

"Go-go away Denki" you said just loud enough for him to hear.

Kaminari wasn't about to leave after hearing that, he just told you he was coming in and opened the door. He saw you sitting on the floor, crying, and quickly shut the door before rushing to you. Kaminari knelt down in front of you, hovering his hands near yours, not sure if he should touch you.

"What's wrong? Babe, talk to me" he pleaded.

"I can't deal with this anymore Denki, not with any of it" you cried.

Kaminari moved to sit down next to you and wrapped his arm around your shoulders, which you promptly shook off.

"Okay, okay. Just tell me what's wrong" Kaminari said.

"I don't-I don't even deserve to be alive, I'm horrible person and-and I don't deserve anything or anyone good in my life"

"That's not true. I know you feel bad, but you have to know you're not a bad person, not at all"

"Why am I like this then? What did I do to deserve all this crap then? If I was a good person this wouldn't be happening to me" you said desperately, digging your nails deep into your arm.

"Stop!" Kaminari exclaimed and grabbed your hands, prying them off your arm.

Kaminari put you in a bit of a lock. He moved himself behind you so you sat between his legs on the floor and pinned your arms down to your sides.

"It's gonna be okay babe. You just need to calm down" Kaminari said, trying to convince himself as well as you.

You kept crying, but stopped struggling against his grip. You just sobbed loudly and leaned your head back on his chest.

You hated being like this. Why? Why did you have to be such a goddamn mess? Why couldn't you just die? It would be so much easier than dealing with all of this.

"I don't want to be here anymore, I just don't" you muttered after you had calmed down a bit and were feeling tired.

Kaminari was about to cry himself. He felt so useless, so helpless. He hated seeing you in so much pain and he felt like there was nothing he could do to help you. Kaminari released your arms and you wrapped them around yourself, along with Kaminari's arms.

"I'm so sorry you're feeling like this, just tell me what I can do to help" he said.

"Just... leave me alone, I don't deserve you anyway. I'm just a manipulative bitch who doesn't deserve anything good" you mumbled tiredly

"Babe..." Kaminari said quietly.

"I don't want you to hate me, Denki" you said before your eyes closed slowly.

"I could never hate you" he said, sadness evident in his voice.

You fell asleep or passed out, Kaminari wasn't really sure which, but he lifted you to your bed and just looked at you for a while. His hand was on the side of your face and he was brushing his thumb over your cheek.

"I wish you weren't in so much pain and I wish I could help you, but I don't know how" Kaminari said quietly, a few tears rolling down his cheeks. He just wanted to help, that's all he ever wanted to do.

Kirishima Eijirou & Kaminari DenkiWhere stories live. Discover now