Voices || Bangchan

Chapter 1

Number of words : 670

CHAPTER ONE

TW : UNSTABLE THOUGHTS

<3

It was early in the morning when we were all gathered in the kitchen. Today was supposed to be an another busy day full of work for all of us.

I was sitting at the table while casually talking with Seungmin about random stuff like we do ninety percent of the time, when suddenly the noise around us started to get louder. I stop myself from talking and try to understand what is happening.

-"You're so dumb man, why would you want to cook it more ? It is good this way !"
-"If you want to tell me what to do, you should just have done it yourself. But oh, I forgot, you don't know how to cook."

Felix and Jeongin both were in a dumb argument about weither cooking the ingredients more or not for breakfast. I let them do so for a while, no one was really bothered by the two of them, Minho cooking on his own, the others talking together some steps away.

-"So no one is going to say anything ?" Seungmin suddenly asks.

Everyone turns their head to see what's happening but only answers by gesturing that they can't say anything to them and go back to their previous activities. Irritated, Seungmin head back to his room.

Are you going to let them do so ?

Ugh, what was that ?

Aren't you the oldest, Christopher ?

Who is it..?

Stop thinking, we're your voices, the ones you truly loved..

Whatever...

Whatever..? Are you sure ?

I didn't really know why it was happening now. These voices shouldn't be here. Anyways, I just try to ignore them and get back to reality where the two still were arguing.

-"Just let me do it ! You can't do anything !" Yells the youngest.
-"I can't do anything ? Are you fucking serious ?"
-"Go away ! I don't want my eggs to be burned."
-"I keep cooking for you every morning and you're coming after me just now ? You know what ? Do it yourself ! Damn.."

Felix throws the ustensil on the stove and get to the sofa, alone.

Why aren't you saying anything ?
You can't even manage your team.

I just.. can't say anything, do you expect me to stop this ?

You don't even have a bit of authority. You're useless.

Am I..?

You're scared to hurt your members..

I'm not scared ...!

You're useless. You can't just ask them to stop.

I want to get rid of all of that. I hate them.

Hate..? Are we the one you hate now ?
No one is going to do it for you.

I was almost freezing in my chair. Hearing the members yelling in front of me, and these things in my head. I was about to get up when..

Maybe they're hating you.
Do you know how much they hate you..?

They don't. They love me.

You're doing nothing to stop them.
They hate you for doing nothing.

I need to get out. They won't stop. I just fastly get up and walk past the members to get to my room. I quickly open it and as I walk in, my body gets weak. I close this big black door, making sure to lock it, and sit on the edge of my bed. Here, alone in the dark, I suddenly feel my cheeks going wet.

Am I crying..?

Yes, because you're weak.

I choose to ignore them and start crying even more, hands covering my eyes. Am I that bad..? I left them alone, who knows what will happen..?

You're a waste.

-"Just stop it.." I whisper between sobs
-"Please..., just go.."

Why would you want to get rid of us ?

-"Leave me alone... I need to be.... alone right now.."

My whole body was shaking by now, and I kept crying for a long time. I just stayed here, lonelier than ever in my black room, windows covered with curtains, lights off, locked.. alone. Not really alone... Somebody's knocking at my door..

-"Wh-what..?"
-"Are you okay..?"

-"Channie...?"

-"....Wait, Chan ?"

« It is time to wake up ».