Living with my greatest fear.

~Chapter 19~

Ellie's POV:

I'm just sitting on the table on the other side of the room waiting for Andrew to come over to me. Once he has finished washing and drying his hands, he walks over to me and takes his stethoscope from around his neck.

"Okay, Ellie, can I just have a quick listen to your heart and lungs?"

I just nod back to Andrew.

"Can you lift your top up a little bit, just so I can put the bell on your chest?"

I nod again and lift my top up so he can put the bell on my chest to listen to my heart. He listens to my heart for a couple of minutes, and then takes the bell off of my chest and I put my top back down.

"Your heart is beating a little fast, but I'm just going to take it as nerves for now and we can check it again at the end, okay?"

"Oh, okay.." I say not really wanting him to check it again but I go along with it anyway.

"Don't worry, E, it's okay," Grant says from the other side of the room.

"Can I have a listen to your lungs now, lovely?"

I nod my head and lift my top again, so he can put the bell on my back.

"Deep breath in for me.....and out....and again....once more...."

Andrew takes the bell away from my back and he puts his stethoscope around his neck. I guess it wasn't too bad, but I still hated it. I just don't like not being in control of something and when I'm led down I feel really vulnerable and out of control. That's why I don't like the doctors or going to the dentist.

Grant's POV:

I'm really proud of Ellie for letting Andrew listen to her heart and lungs without getting outwardly scared and not let him do it. I know it's hard for Ellie to let people help her especially if they are the likes of Andrew or me because we are both doctors and she hates the thought of it, but by her doing things like that, I'm hoping she will realise it isn't as bad as she thought it was and that maybe next time she won't be as scared.

Ellie's POV:

"Can you lie back on the table now for me, Ellie?" Andrew asks me.

"...Why?..."

"I need to do an abdominal exam now. It's nothing scary, I promise. But, you do need to lie down for it."

This is the part I dread. I hate this so much.

"Go on, Ellie. The quicker you do this, the sooner we can leave." Grant says, trying to get me to lie down.

"It will be so quick and easy, lovely."

I lie back on the table and try to make myself as comfortable as I can be on here. Andrew asks me if I can move down a bit, so my head is on the top of the table rather than off the edge.

"Do you want me to draw the curtains around us, to give you privacy?"

"Umm...I don't know...I feel better when I can see Grant, I think," I say, looking over to Grant, who just smiles back at me.

"Okay, that's fine. Are you ready for me to start?"

"Mhm.."

"Can I just move your top up a bit, lovely?"

I nod to Andrew and just lie on the table looking up to the ceiling wishing for all of this to be over.

"Tell me if there's any pain anywhere, okay lovely?"

I nod again, hoping that I won't have to tell him if there's any pain.

He starts to press down on my abdomen and the first couple of times he does it, I sort of grimace because I don't like the feeling of it, but not because it hurts. Andrew didn't make any comment the first time I grimaced but when I grimaced for the second time, he looked across to me.