Living with my greatest fear.

~Chapter 26~

Ellie's POV:

Grant asked for a mask and pair of gloves from Tobey so he got up and went to the boxes of gloves and masks. Whilst Tobey was doing that, Grant cupped my cheeks in his hands again and was smiling down at me. It made me feel more at ease. Just before he accepted the mask and gloves from Tobey, he gave me a kiss on my forehead.

Both Grant and Tobey started putting their gloves on. I started to tense up at the sound of the gloves slapping against their skin. It gives me shivers every time.

"Are you ready for me to start, princess?" He asks me, giving me another faint smile from behind his mask.

"Yeah, I guess so.." I say, for once not actually looking down or fiddling with my fingers.

"Good girl," Grant said softly, putting his mask above his nose,  "Open when you're ready, baby."

Tobey reached for my hand to try and comfort me.

I slowly opened my mouth and squeezed Tobey's hand a little. "Thank you, E." Grant said as he started to look at my teeth. Whilst he was checking my teeth, I tried to think of other things to try and distract me. I couldn't stop thinking about what Grant and Tobey are going to do though.. It makes me so anxious being in this chair not knowing what is actually going to happen. I think Tobey realises I am beginning to feel quite anxious and scared because he squeezes my hand twice to make me look up at him and he smiles down at me.

"You're doing so well, poppet." Tobey says to me.

Briefly, it helps me to feel more at ease but it doesn't last very long. Normally, when Grant takes his tools out of my mouth I relax knowing that I will be able to leave his office or at least the exam room pretty soon after, but this time I grow more and more anxious. This time I know that he's going to start working on my cracked tooth. My breathing starts to get very rapid and I almost can't take a deep enough breath.

"E, hey, calm down, princess," Grant says, rubbing my back.

I find it really difficult to calm down. Nothing I normally do is working. I try to close my eyes and take some deep breaths but I can't. My breathing doesn't slow down at all.

"E, do you want to sit in another chair for a minute? To try and calm down?" Grant says, still rubbing my back.

All I can do is nod. I slowly get up and walk over to the chair in the corner of the room. As I sit down, I start to feel dizzy and a bit faint. I put my head in between my legs. I hear one of them come over to me and crouch down in front of me, putting their hands on my knees.

"Hey, Ellie, what's up?" Tobey asks.

I don't reply because my breathing is so quick and I feel like I'm going to be sick. Grant comes over with a cup of water and tells me to try and drink some. I lift my head up and accept the cup from Grant and drink some of it.

"What are you scared about, poppet?" Tobey asks me, whilst rubbing my knees.

I just point to my jaw where the cracked tooth is.

"There's nothing to worry about. Grant's just going to fix it and get rid of the pain for you, okay?"

I nod. I really want to get out of this pain but it all just makes me so anxious. Whenever Grant has brought me to his office before, it's just been for a check-up or an occasional filling. I get scared about all of them but most of the time I just know that I have to be in the exam room for 20 mins maximum and then I can leave and I won't have to have any work done. But now that I know I have to get my crack fixed, I'm so nervous.

Since sitting in another chair and having some water, I've calmed down. "Do you want to come and sit in the exam chair again, E? I can tell you what I'm going to do." I take one last sip of my water and then kind of nod to Grant. Tobey gets up so I can get out of the chair. Once I've stood up, Tobey rubs my back. As I start to walk over to the counter by where Grant's sitting, Tobey goes to sit back down on his stool. I put my cup on the counter by the sink and then go and perch on the side of the exam chair, facing Grant.

"To fix your cracked tooth, all I'm going to have to do is just give you a filling. Not too bad, is it? You've had one before, so it'll just be like that, okay, princess?"

"Mhm..okay.." I say, kind of relieved that it's only a filling but also sort of scared because I didn't enjoy having my last filling.

"You'll be fine, I promise." Grant says, rubbing my arm.

"Do you have any questions or do you just want to get it over and done with?" Grant says, giving me a soft smile.

"It's not going to hurt, right?"

"It'll be a bit uncomfortable at points and I'm sorry about that but it shouldn't hurt. If it does then just raise your hand and I'll stop, okay?"

"Okay, I guess so..."

"Are you ready for me to get started, E?"

I nod.

"Okay, sit back in the chair then for me please, princess." Grant stands up and washed his hands and asks Tobey for a pair of gloves and a mask. I hear Grant sit back down on his stool and then they both put their gloves on and I cringe and the sound of both of them. Grant then tells me that he's going to recline the chair back and as it starts to go back I watch him put his mask above his nose.

"Open when you're ready then, baby," Grant says.

As I open my mouth, Tobey reaches for my hand again and starts to rub his thumb on the back of my hand.

"Thank you, princess."