HIM AND I

3; "My only and lovely Friend..."

"I left you breakfast on the table." The coldness of the wooden chair gave me goosebumps. The flavors of the pancakes filled my mouth, this taste was not like basic pancakes. Jay's were my entire childhood. Having a brother who wanted to be a chef serves me well. The bitterness of the coffee covers the sweetness of these treats. "Do you want to go for a walk today? I have a free day so I want to spend my time with you." The pancake fell from my hand, and my eyes filled with excitement. It had been ages since we'd last been out together, because he's an idol and I'm a professional skater, so we had more time for each other. A laugh escaped him. "Well, go get dressed, we're having a shopping day! I ran to my room and got ready. After several minutes, I went downstairs, a smile on my face. "Jay?" No answer. "Jay? Where are you?" Still no answer. I decided to sit on the couch and wait for him. My finger was starting to cramp from scrolling on my phone, so much so that the seconds became minutes, then hours. And still no sign of Jay. The number of times I tried to contact Jay was visible, with the accumulation of numbers next to his name. Drunk, I got on my bike, and decided to ride around my neighborhood. The wind blew my hair back, and my thoughts flew back. It was still this world and only me, my own world. But I regained my mind, when my bike hit something or rather someone. A young boy was on the ground, stroking his lower back from the pain of the accident. As long as I was on the ground, my head was sore, my leg was burning, and so was my arm. By the time I came to my senses, a hand reached out in my direction. The boy was standing there with a worried smile on his face and blood running down his face. I was overwhelmed by his beauty, his dark eyes reflecting what he saw. His whole face was incredible. I grabbed his hand and stood up pushing my bike, which was on top of me, to the side. "Are you okay? I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention. You should go home and take care of yourself, there is blood running down your face." A smile appeared letting a laugh escape from her mouth. "I think you should do the same. Look at your arm and legs, you're a lot worse off than I am." I laughed. Our eyes met, I couldn't take my gaze off her eyes, I was drawn to them. "I'm sorry really, and thanks again for picking me up. Goodbye." The embarrassment washed over me, so much so that my feet were kicking to the rhythm of my bike's pedals. I was in pain, but no matter what I had to get away. As I rode along, a figure caught my eye. It was Jay, laughing out loud. He was holding a girl by the shoulder and laughing with some other boys. A wave of anger swept over me. But mostly I was sad, I didn't know he had a girlfriend or who the people were that they were hanging out with. Strangers, that's what we were, strangers. I don't know him anymore. Normally I read it like an open book, we thought nobody knew us as well as we knew each other. And now the book is inaccessible to me. A finger pointed in my direction, his whole group including himself looked at me. His arm gradually slipped from the girl's shoulder, and his feet began to run in my direction. I grabbed my bike and tried to climb on, when a hand grabbed me. "Byeol, what happened? How come you're bleeding like that? Come on, let's get you home and get you fixed up." My gaze was not even directed in her direction. And my arm pulled away from his hand. "Stop it! Don't show interest in me when you don't have any. I'm not three years old anymore, I can handle myself. Then go back to your girlfriend, who is glaring at me." His mouth did not create any sound. So much so that I set off again. My bike fell into my yard, so much so that I headed for my room. My body landed on my bed, and tears rolled down my face. Betrayal, that's what I felt. With the workout I had done, the blood just flowing, and my tears falling, fatigue took over my body and gradually closed my eyes. A light settled on my eyes, it was that of the moon. My body got up and I noticed that my comforter was stained with blood. No matter. I dragged my body along the house to the kitchen. 1:00 am was posted on the oven. I grabbed a glass and drank the water in it. As I made my way back to my room, I noticed Jay's door open. He was sitting on my bed, looking up at my window and then at me."Byeol...I'm sorry." His look made me feel guilty. I sat down next to him. "I didn't want you to think that I had forgotten about you or that I didn't care about you. I didn't want you to think that, but my friends called me and told me to come out because it was urgent. They actually surprised me with the release of my new album, I was so happy I lost track of time.... " 

"Jay, I don't care about that. But you could have told me. I called you a few times, I waited for you. But that's not why I'm upset, I noticed we don't know each other at all....I realized I didn't know your friends that you were with, or your girlfriend. I didn't know your new album was out. Normally you would have come to tell me at 1 or 2 or 3 o'clock in the morning whatever time it was. We used to tell each other everything, we knew each other better than anyone. But I realized that we have become strangers. We don't say anything to each other anymore, we don't talk, we don't spend time together. And it's eating me up, killing me. I miss my brother, the one who was there, the one who was always there. Tears escaped from our eyes. His arms went around me. "I'm sorry Byeol, I didn't want us to end up like this...But not everything is irreplaceable. From now on I will be more present as before, sorry for leaving you in the complicated moments. I am here now and I will never leave again." After that we talked all night, I had found my brother, and that alone made me forget my pain for a long time.

 The book was accessible to me again.