The Flaked Life Of Lotanna

12

══✿══╡°˖✧LOTANNA✧˖°╞══✿══

I thought moving on was possible, but today, the way it came tumbling back in like a plague consumed me with its pain. Sometimes I wanted to imagine it was just a bad dream, but then reality would strike, and the memories would come flooding back — Davis left me after all we had.

I had the fear that if I ever fell in love again, I'd be doomed to face the same torment. Bearing that kind of pain was not something I wanted to endure.

"Are you sure you want to move to Nigeria? You know, I don't mind staying here with you." My mother's warm face showed her concern, and if she had her way, she would have made me live with her and helped me throughout my pregnancy. As much as I loved my mum, I knew that I'd be miserable if I stayed there.

The thought of running into Davis was a given, and I didn't want a reminder of my past life. "I know I don't have to leave, Mom, but I can't stay here anymore. I appreciate everything you are doing, but I have to live my life the way I want to," I boldly said.

She shook her head in disbelief. "And you are sure your Grandma doesn't know you are pregnant? And I also hope you are not in touch with Davis?" I knew my mother could see the hurt plastered over my face at the mention of his name. Her voice immediately turned soft and concerned. "You need to move on and think about yourself and your child — my grandchild."

I had heard those words from her over and over. And every time, it took more and more control to keep my calm. I didn't think she would have said that to me if she knew what it felt like to lose the man you loved to another woman. I clenched my teeth and put on a fake smile like I always did in this situation.

My mother knew I forced myself to smile, but she went along with it anyway, crossing her hands and staring at me.

"Mum, I am doing my best. That's why I am moving to Nigeria to start all over. I will start my business and get some things going for myself." I informed her. That was all I
 could say to appease her so I could leave.

Mum sighed and pulled me in for a tight embrace. Hugging her with all I had, I breathed in her warm scent, the aroma that had been my comfort growing up. Other than my grandmother, my mother had always been my biggest supporter.

"That sounds great, sweetheart. You're always welcome to come back anytime you want because I will always be here." Releasing her hold, she looked me in the eye. "I love you. You will get through this. You're strong, and I have complete and utter faith in you."

I nodded, quickly averting my eyes so she couldn't see the tears building up, about to fall. "Mum, I love you and will miss you," I said as I put my clothes in the suitcase. "I'll call Dad tomorrow when I get to the airport to tell him goodbye."

"He'd appreciate that," she agreed.

I hated not seeing him before I left, but his job had called him away on business. He spent most of my childhood years traveling, and I figured that's why my mum and dad got divorced.

She was all I had growing up. My father was a hard man to get along with, always so stern and overprotective. However, after being an adult and spending little time with him, I realized that all he ever wanted in life was to make myself and my siblings happy.

Mum let out a sigh and walked out of the room, and as she slowly disappeared out of view, that's when the tears fell.

True love existed, and maybe my parents hadn't found it with each other the first time around, but I had to believe it was still out there for everyone — for me, too.