Perseverance (Wangxian)

Chapter 6 - Is It Unrequited?

Wei Ying's body and mind was starting to come to. He left is eyes closed as he was so comfortable at the moment. The fingers running through his hair made him feel strange. It felt good, he was loving the feeling of the gentleness coming from the fingers. His body tingled at the touch.

He soon felt lips touch his forehead. They were gentle, soft, and warm. The warmth of those lips sent sparks of electricity through his body. He was loving the comfort he was receiving. As he was enjoying the comforting touch, it suddenly came to him that the person under him was having a conversation with someone. The deep angelic baritone of a voice should have given it away that the person was talking. The other voice was somewhat deep as well, calmer, and radiated gentleness through the room.

Hearing the conversation gave I'm a wake up call, and a confession...his heart was aching already from his own pain and confusion, but after hearing the conversation, it ached for love, acceptance, and more sadness. He felt ashamed that he didn't know these things sooner and if he did, he would have acted on his own feelings and confessed himself.

"Is everything alright?" He heard one voice ask, he recognized it to be Zewu Jun.

"Wei Ying is depressed," he heard the man under him say, what he was saying was true but he didn't realize his depression would affect the man under him so much, "I told him I offered to help him with his core but he said he doesn't want to cultivate again...he doesn't want to go through the pain of getting thrown around by the cultivation world again. He has pretty much given up. I don't know what to do."

"We will do what we can to at least help him get his mind back on track, Wangji," he heard Xichen explain, "I can think of a few reasons for him to be so depressed. For one, you seem to be his only support...though one support sometimes is enough, he deserves more. I support him, I know he is kind, and warm hearted. Even without a core he is still so smart and talented. He mastered the use of resentful energy and no one has ever done that. He doesn't use it for malicious intentions, he uses it for justice."

Xichen's words felt good to hear. He felt that doesn't deserve such praises though. Wei Ying's guilt was too much for him to accept those words of praise right now. He was so deep in his thoughts of hopelessness, that the next thing he heard Xichen say, was unexpected, "are you ever going to confess your feelings to him?"

'Confess, to me? He likes me? Lan Zhan likes me?' His mind raced with those thoughts and questions. His heart started to gain warmth from hearing those words. He wondered why him of all people, that Lan Wangji could have.

"I want to, but in the past he has always said he has no interest in men, and even if he was interested in me back, is now really a good time for him to be courted?" He heard Lan Zhan explain.

Honestly, after hearing this, he never thought he'd fall for a man, or a woman. He was someone who flirted with others, but it didn't get him far. He remembers his first kiss was stolen by a random maiden that day at Phoenix Mountain. Hearing that Lan Zhan was into him, his thoughts changed. He felt that for a long time, his heart was being held by Lan Zhan. He realized he had feelings for the man, and it was new to him for this discovery.

"Maybe, or maybe not," Xichen shrugged, "it's hard to say. If he says he doesn't like men, I don't think it is true...at least when it comes to you. He seems to be okay being this close to you."

"I guess," Lan Zhan said, "maybe I can just have a casual conversation but I don't want to rush things. I have loved him for a long time, I can wait longer."

'He has loved me for a long time? How long? If so, why treat me as if you can't stand me? Did you not want to understand your feelings back then? What changed?' Wei Ying thought to himself.