Ada

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Sam kept me close to him for the rest of the morning. Eli had given me some tablets, strong painkillers which had completely muted the pain in my waist and my thighs but had also fogged my brain and lulled me half asleep. They'd been expecting it to happen, Eli had told me I'd probably want to sleep and that if I got tired then I should go to sleep. But I hadn't wanted to go to bed. Not after admitting everything to them, not after revealing my vulnerability. I felt tired but emotionally I was too exhausted to sleep.

So Sam had let me sit beside him and when he'd noticed me beginning to slip into a dream he'd wrapped an arm around my waist and hauled me into his lap, guiding my head to rest against his chest. He'd held me there like that for an hour or two whilst the others came and went.
It was one of those unbearable clammy days outside, I could tell because the caravan air was thick and every time one of them opened the door a blast of warm air would hit me leaving me a little nauseous.

"How you doing titch?" he asked after awhile. I could feel his fingers brushing over my hair with a soothing kind of gentleness about them.

I didn't say much just kind of mumbled an okay, I felt shit but I was more than aware that I could feel worse. If it wasn't for the painkillers Eli had dosed me up on I'd have been in a physical hell just then. I could feel the aching of my withdrawal. The zaps which were muted but would have been unignorable had I not been half out of it.
So I just shrugged and said okay and he didn't believe me but he didn't push it too much.

"You still wanting out with Rob in a bit?" asked Eli then, "could probably use more meds and antiseptic for the lass,"

I listened to him and felt a little guilty. It was probably risky going out in search of those sorts of things, highly coveted things that people would definitely fight and kill for. Maybe they wouldn't have needed them if it wasn't for me, I wished they didn't need them for me but I wasn't stupid I knew in the state I was in they definitely did need to get them. I just didn't really want to Sam to be the one leaving because that would leave me on my own.

"Aye seems fair like," shrugged Sam not realising how my anxiety spiked then. I knew it was kind of tragic how I'd latched onto him but I couldn't help it.

"You could probably go when the lads come back yeah?"

"Reckon it'd be better leave it till sunset like, less people out at night..."

I bristled then, I hadn't been out alone at night since the first impact. It had grown more deadly as the days went by after the initial crumble into chaos. By now, society having deteriorated as it had, it would be mad to go out after light. And yet Sam sounded perfectly calm.

"Where will you go?"

"Back towards the high street in shields, pharmacy there we haven't tapped before,"

"Isn't that gonna be dangerous?" I asked then, I hadn't meant to say anything, vowing to keep to myself and not cause anymore trouble, but the drugs seemed to have numbed my concentration and the words had just slipped out.

Eli smirked and Sam chuckled and though I expected them both to laugh me off as being naïve neither of them did.

"Aye a bit titch," said Sam his hand in my hair playing with a lock, wrapping it around his fingers and then unwinding it again.

"She's right Sam it'll be proper risky heading up the way when youve not been there so long..."

"A used live there, a know it like the back of me hand..."

"Aye but it's changed!"

"Aye, a watched it change," said Sam growing stubborn, "you don't have worry about me Ada," he said with a soft smirk, "be reet," he added then looking up towards Eli, "and you know better so don't encourage her," he added the kind of smile that told me he was only perhaps half joking.

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