Hypersonic Missiles

Ada

I sat beside Sam, trying to hide the breaking of my heart as the lads tucked into their breakfast. Id lost my appetite, just starring at my lap, mind racing with all that I'd lost, all I was being forced to live without.

Id intended to end it all so I would never have to know how this felt, and now I was feeling it, and now I was stuck there feeling it.

Worse than that it had been more than 24 hours since my last tablet and I could feel the beginning of the withdrawal symptoms. The first few twitches in my fingers, the first ache in the bridge of my nose. All these little threats my body was making, telling me to take another tablet. And if I'd only had some spare I would have done.

But I didn't. I'd taken the last one just before I'd started off to the bridge, thinking it wouldn't matter anymore. Thinking nothing would matter anymore.

I itched my fingers on my thighs, chewing my cheek, feeling all kinds of irritation and anxiety. The lads were still talking, dividing up the supplies as they ate, making plans, working out how long they could go without heading back into the old town.

Sam had his hand resting on the seat beside my leg and I was all too aware of our proximity. My own hand still stung and when I flexed my fingers over my leg I felt the burn tug and split. I knew it would only get worse. The longer i went without my medicine the sharper my senses would peak, all out of wack. I'd feel that sting in echoes with every move I made.

I swallowed a lump in my throat, tears prickling at my eyes.

When I glanced up I caught Elis stare fixed on me. His eyes dark. He frowned, the same sullen expression as he watched me. He didn't look away but i couldn't hold his gaze, blinking to hide my tears as I turned to look out the window behind me.

Beside me Sam leant in to talk to me.

"You not hungry little one?" he asked, "nar you're probably a bit shaken up still but we need yas to eat like..."

"Uhuh," I nodded, knowing he was right but also knowing I couldn't bring myself to touch the spaghetti hoops I'd been offered. "Just feel sick," I said, daring to glance up at Eli for long enough to see his brow furrow deeper as his frustration grew.

"You need to eat that Ada, Sam's right..."

"I'm not a kid..." I frowned, crossing my arms as I fixed him with a glare, hardly brave enough to hold it for very long at all, shrinking away immediately when he rose to my challenge.

"Stop acting like one then," he snapped quickly before he could catch the wounded look in my eyes and realise who he was talking to.

"Eli!" snapped Rob just as quickly delivering another casual backhanded to the frowning boy, "do the words be nice mean anything to you at all?" he hissed, their eyes locking in a challenge as they shared a look of understanding.

"S'alreet titch our Eli's just a big mard arse, he doesn't mean that," said Sam putting his arm around me, his lazy embrace so much warmer than the glare I felt Eli fixing me with from across the table.

"Aye, am sorry lass," he said with a sigh, "but you do need to eat, whether you feel sick or not,"

"Alright man I think she gets the message don't you lass," chuckled Josh shooting me a wink as Sam picked my fork up and stirred it around the tin of spaghetti. "Cmon princess don't make us do here comes the airplane ey?" he teased taking a scoop and offering it to me with a little smirk. For a moment I wasn't sure what to do, whether to laugh at him or accept the spoonful of food. I squirmed in my seat and I think he must have felt it because he chuckled and dropped the spoon back down into the can, squeezing his arm around my shoulder before letting me go. "Cmon little one, just try yeah? Yas need your strength like," he offered me another grin which faltered when I took a scoop and tried my best to swallow it, grimacing and looking up at him with teary eyes. I just wasnt in the mood to eat.