She wasn't sleeping, I could sense her waking as she lay there not so far away from me on a mattress on the floor.
It wasnt a cold night but she was lying tense as if braced against a chill, every now and then she shivered.
I knew what she was doing. Crying.
Alone in the dark when she thought we were sleeping, when she thought no one would see her and consequently see weakness.She was smarter than I'd first thought, though I should really have noticed that sooner. Even when she'd been backing away from me on the bridge, terrified and unable to hide it, she'd had that bright, intelligent spark in her eyes. The look of someone constantly calculating.
That was probably how she'd managed to stay hidden for so long.
I lay still, starring at the ceiling, listening to her.
She was doing well to stay so quiet, if I hadn't tuned into her, if I wasn't lying so close by, I probably wouldn't have heard a thing. But every now and then I could. These soft little sobs, the odd sniffle. The shift of her hand as she tried to wipe the tears from her cheeks.
I wanted to reach out to her, try to sooth her, but I knew that in doing so I'd embarass her. She'd be ashamed of being seen crying. It wouldn't make her open up, only close her off even more.
And if she was going to stay with us, which I hoped she would because I couldn't stand the thought of what might happen if she left on her own again, she needed to trust us.
Maybe she'd be off that bridge in a heartbeat if she left in the morning. Maybe she'd try to survive on her own again, but she wouldnt last long,I was almost certain she wouldn't even make it back to her house from here. And who was to say who might have found her supply whilst she was gone.
I'd been listening in when Eli had been dressing her injured arm, I shouldn't have been but I couldn't help myself. I already felt protective of her and I could tell she was frightened by Eli's guarded nature. He needed to be more gentle but the years had hardened him and his sharper side was all he knew to show.
And all that snapping and grumbling was just his way of dealing with the hell which had hit our lives. Didn't mean he didn't care. He probably cared more than most, generally the more he snapped and grumbled the more he cared.
I'd only been listening in to warn him off upsetting Ada anymore than she already was. But now I couldn't stop thinking over what she'd told him.
That rope burn on her arm had come from someone elses cruelty. They'd held her captive in her own home and left her there, only to return when they wanted to torment her. And that burn hadn't been the only way they'd hurt her.
I felt sick to think of what they might have done to her. Felt sick to think of all the reasons she might have been up on that bridge.
From across the room i could see that Eli was awake too, he never really slept, always on guard even when it wasn't his turn to wait up. He always did. He wasn't much of a sleeper even when there wasn't a specific thing to worry about, but tonight I knew he was up for the same reason as me.
"Areet mate," I said quietly, not making him jump when I shuffled along the floor to reach him by the window.
"Can't sleep,"
"Aye a can see that..." I smirked waiting for an explanation but instead all I got was classic Eli.
"I wasn't talking about me mate it was a question..." he said, that hint of harshness in his tone, the one that had frightened Ada before he'd even said hello, "You're usually out cold by now what's eatin you?" he asked, the friendliness returning to his eyes then as he glanced back at me before turning to look out the window once again.
Course he couldn't see anything, the sea was a desolate ocean these days, no lights on the water because the big trader ships had long since quit their routes. Not enough people to man them, armies too preoccupied keeping the peace on land to assist their ever perilous crossings or protect them from the rising pirates and terrorist organisations which looked to commandeer them.
No, it was dark outside for as far as the eye could see. We looked as though we'd been swallowed by a whale or a black hole.
"Who dya think did that to her?" I asked, my question the answer to his. He shook his head, shoulders and jaw tense.
"You see the burn she's got?" he asked me, that question all he offered in the way of an answer.
We both knew who had done that to her, at least we could make a pretty good guess.
"They're not likely to go looking for her if she's escaped they'll just presume shes dead already.." I said, thinking what he was thinking. That we might have made our lives a little harder by taking her in. That things might have been more dangerous for us all now if she was on their wanted list.
"I'm surprised she isn't already dead.." he said, his smirk not intended to be cruel, just aware. Aware that she was too timid and too small to survive on her own for very long. She wouldn't hold up in a fight, could only hide to survive and though it had obviously been working for her, it hadn't worked well enough.
"What was she doing up on that bridge?" he asked me then, already knowing the answer.
The answer was obvious, so cruelly Crystal clear.
I chewed my cheek, knees hugged to my chest. I looked over at her, wondered if she was listening in.
"Same as me an you were, same as fucken everyone else a spose," I said feeling the same longing to save her then as I had felt when I'd seen her standing precariously on the edge of the bridge.
"Fuck sake," murmured Eli, "17s bloody young int it,"
"Aye," I nodded, "bairns shouldn't have to feel like that,"
"Aye," he nodded, his eyes following mine to the girl who was lying on her side.
From here I could see her more clearly. Lying awake, she wasn't looking at me, didn't seem to have noticed me and Eli talking at all.
She was crying still, I could see her little body shaking. I wondered if she'd stop tonight or if she'd still be like that in the morning.
"You know she's gonna be trouble right," said Eli then, that stony hearted voice returning, he was still watching her. I refused to believe I could really think that when he could see what I did.
"Nah you're being a werit," I said shrugging his concern off though I knew he was right. I'd seen the feral look in her eyes when she'd reached for that piece of debris on the bridge.
She might not have known how to, but she'd defend herself at all costs.The fact she'd escaped with only that rope burn to show for her suffering told me she was trouble. But I didn't want Eli to treat her with suspicion.
"She's a little titch, she's alreet,"
"That's what I mean," chuckled Eli then, "she needs lookin after..."
"Aye," I nodded, "glad we agree,"
My words weren't quite a threat but he knew what I meant. Don't go scaring her off. Don't let her think that walking out that door and going back home alone is a better idea than staying with us.
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Hypersonic Missiles
FanfictionWhen the wars began we delighted in the revolution, we raised a glass to the collapse of society, made a toast to the bitter hope in our hearts. Seems like a long time ago now. Sam Fender/Inhaler/Catfish