Everything And Nonsense

Very Close

"It's like we're old friends."

We met on Reddit, sad I know. Whatever. He was my very first friend on that hellsite. We started a friendship over some Fortnite roleplay (shut up), and I felt like something was going to happen. Nothing bad in particular. He was a stranger to me, but at the same time it felt like I knew him for years. It's weird. We've only known each other 2 years and yet it's like it was much longer. We talked. He's very easy to talk to. We hit it off quick, and realized we'd both gone through some of the same bullshit. The poor guy had lost his dog in March. I felt, and still feel, awful for him. This guy is someone that I could talk to about absolutely anything. And it's hopefully mutual, because he's a special person. We've had some absolutely horrible fights, resulting in week long (or longer) blocks and breaks. We moved to Discord after a while. It took time to convince him to join. But when he did, it was awesome. It was easier to talk to him on Discord than on Reddit. We were in the same server, but some awful shit happened and since then, we're rarely in them together. When fights break out, I don't know who to defend first, and just go for the person who needs someone most in that situation. I feel bad when I don't help him, but bad when I do sometimes. Either way, I love the guy. He's a best friend and a brother. Maybe I know why it's hard to let go: He's just like Thomas. The way he acts, the way he looks sometimes, the fact that he was the same age as he was when I met him. He reminds me of him, and it reminds me of what used to be, a best friend I no longer have. I've said some shitty things to him, and he's returned the favor. But no matter what, I still love my friend. He means a lot to me. We've had some awful moments. Unbearable fights. But the fact that we stayed strong through that is fucking amazing. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again. And if I go insane(-er), I'll do it. Insane-er isn't even a word. Well, cry about it.