Baldur x Reader

Ten

With your mouth wide open in disbelief, you stared at the door that Baldur had torn out.

Effortlessly, he entered the cabin, still holding the door in both hands, and put it back into its place. It didn't fit properly anymore, but good enough to keep the cold and wind outside and the warmth of the fireplace inside.

As he turned to you, he seemed unbothered.

"You broke the door.", you mumbled, still baffled.

He shrugged.

"And the window.", he said, taking a seat at the table before letting his eyes wander through the small room. "It's lonely here."

You nodded.

"True.", with an exhausted huff, you pulled yourself to the edge of the bed. "It is lonely here. But... I suppose that's what it's supposed to be. My mother says people make you more miserable than loneliness."

His eyes jumped back to you. Bright, icy blue. What a nice colour, like the calm surface if a mountain lake. But there was a depth to them that felt unsettling.

"Your mother?", he asked, clenching his hands into fists. "You hate yours too?"

As he asked, you noticed the sound of his voice for the first time. It was a manly voice, not too deep but a bit scratchy whenever he put extra emotions into a word. He spoke calm and slow, but it also sounded as if he was mocking whoever he talked to all the time.

"I... I don't hate her. But I think it would be better if she would leave me alone...", as soon as you admitted it, a strange feeling spread inside your chest and made something pull together so hard that you thought your lungs would collide.

Baldur let out an understanding sound. He raised his hands, showing you the red and blue tattoos that adored them, stretching over his shoulders and naked chest.

He was well build, muscular, with broad but not massive shoulders. He was quite slender for a man of his size.

"My mother gave these to me.", he said and stared at the blue ink with so much hate as if it made him physically sick.

For a moment, you eyed them.

Most of the motives were norse runes, symbols of war and peace but also ones that were supposed to bring protection and health. There were so many, it made him seem like a canvas.

"They're pretty.", you said and had to smile softly.

Tiredness filled your body, you needed rest to recover from the injuries. But at the same time you wished to talk to him longer. It soothed the feeling of being useless whenever you were trapped in this cabin.

His expression darkened. At first it seemed as if he would get angry about the compliment, but managed to calm himself and just be offended in silence.

"It's a curse.", he said and let his fingers run over his right sleeve tattoo. "They make me feel miserable and yet empty every day."

You huffed and pulled the blanket aside to show him his your legs.

"At least you know what to expect the next morning when falling asleep.", you stroked your ankle. "I go to bed and hope I'll be able to properly breath when I wake up again. Sometimes I can run around and feel normal. And the next day my cursed body decides I do not deserve this simple form of happiness."

"Happiness... I've forgotten about that long ago."

"And I never got to know what it is in the first place."

"I suppose we both have rotten mothers. That's good to know."

You smiled.

"Why?"

His eyes narrowed.

"Because you'll understand when I say that she ruined my life. She's the reason why I'm miserable. And you might not agree with my desires, if they are desires, but I feel like everything could be fixed if she would just die."

Struck by his words, your eyes widened and a soft gasp escaped you. It wasn't everyday that somebody talked about wishing death upon their own mother.

But despite never saying it out loud or daring to think about it for more than the breath of a second, you could understand where he was coming from. You could relate to the anger that made him grind his teeth.

"You... you must be so bitter...", you mumbled, suddenly feeling pity for him.

He must have been a lot more miserable than you if he truly felt this way.

He hummed. His gaze wandered over your face. He noticed the change in you, realising that he might have been too open. He leaned back and glanced at the broken window one last time before getting up.

A soft gasp escaped you.

"Where are you going?", you asked.

Your words were filled with a soft fear.

You didn't want him to go. You didn't want to be left alone again after finally meeting someone who could understand.

Letting out a deep breath, he glanced over his shoulder. The look on his face was something between pity and annoyance.

"I broke into your home, my apologies for that.", he pressed his hand against the door, but squeezed his eyes shut as he noticed something that displeased him. "I should leave. I'm just a stranger to you."

Without another word he turned his back on you, revealing big, red runes that curved above a picture of the world serpent.

"Please stay.", you breathed.

His steps froze.

"Why would you want that?", he asked.

The volume of his voice was softer now. It seemed like he didn't have the strength nor the will to argue. He wanted to leave but didn't wish to be rude about it.

"Because I've never had the chance to talk to someone. I never had the chance to get to know a different person. I... I want to change. I want to escape. But I can't. Because nobody cares. Nobody wants to help. Because nobody understands. Nobody except you."

Swallowing hard, you tried to set foot on the ground. But as soon as you rose with a swift movement, your legs gave in and you crashed to the ground.

The impact made your body ache with such pain that a scream escaped you. The feeling of running blood stuck to your legs. As your eyes wandered down, blood adored the floor.

Without saying a word, Baldur squatted down in front of you and grabbed your chin.

"I envy you.", he said and tightened his grip. "I wish to be you."

"You hurt me!"

"I know."