Baldur x Reader

Thirty-Seven

Finding a way out of Helheim turned out to be a bigger task than Baldur had expected. Breathing heavily, he climbed onto the ruins of a house to get a better look at where he was going.

The world was wrapped in fog and snow.

It felt lonely.

He felt lonely.

Next to him, you appeared. In an attempt to comfort him, you wrapped your arms around his neck.

"Will you be okay?", you asked.

His eyebrows pulled together. He tilted his head to brush your cheek with his knuckles.

"It's fine.", he said, white clouds rose from his lips. "I'll be with you soon. I'll hurry, I promise."

Huffing, you shook your head.

"Take your time. Find the boy first."

"No. I need to see you."

"But if you let him go now, you might never be able to find him again. They want to go to Jötunheim. If they get there, they'll be out of reach."

"If you die, you'll be out of reach too.", he breathed a kiss to your forehead. "I want to see you."

A soft sound escaped you.

"But you won't be able to know what a kiss feels like.", you said with a small smirk, knowing it would change his mind. "I can wait. Well... at least I'm trying."

A heavy breath made his chest tremble.

"Will you still be there?", he asked.

You nodded.

"I'm trying."

"Promise me."

"I don't know if I can. But I promise I'll try my best."

"Good...", he sighed and wanted to walk on.

But after a few steps, something strange happened.

Sounds filled the silence. It was as if magic appeared.

But he couldn't see anything.

Curious, you threw a glance back. A soft sigh escaped you. Your eyebrows rose in surprise.

"Baldur...", you tapped his shoulder.

But it seemed like the form you were in wasn't powerful enough to make him notice.

"My boy...", a voice suddenly cut through the sound of the whistling wind.

As it reached his ears, a cold, devouring shiver crawled down his spine. A whimper got stuck in his throat.

With a shivering breath, he slowly turned around.

The face of his mother greeted him. She wasn't really there, merely a figure born from green and black smoke. She looked quite similar to you, just a lot less solid and more like a cruel memory.

Confused, he frowned and turned to her.

You pulled your head in, frightened by the unknown appearance.

"Mother?", he gasped in disbelief.

Her head moved. But she wasn't looking at him, not directly at least.

She was looking past him.

With a soft gasp, you flinched, feeling like she was looking at you.

But she wasn't.

Another person appeared from the snow, also made from smoke and magic.

It was Baldur.

With his arms spread, he walked towards her. He looked furious, or at least the way he moved indicated he was angered.

"Why did you do this to me?!", it was his voice that spoke, but it seemed to come from far, far away.

The woman moved.

"To protect you.", she gasped, audibly upset.

"No...", he growled. "No, I would have never wanted this! You... you had no right."

"I had every right. I am your mother!"

The illusion flickered.

"You had no right, witch!"

With bated breath you watched as the two beings started fighting with each other, both verbally and a bit physically. It looked like a typical family feud, but you couldn't help and feel that this was a different kind of problem.

Enchanted by the situation, the real Baldur walked around the scene to take a look from all angles. There was this shimmer in his eyes, the realisation that he had lived this moment once before.

"I can't taste. I can't smell. I can't even feel the temperature of this... this room.", the shadow of Baldur's former self chuckled. "Feasting... drinking... women. It's all gone. Gone!"

The real Baldur nodded. His eyes, his attention, everything he had to give was glued to this very memory of his.

The woman, his mother, tall yet strangely young and beautiful, shook her head in disagreement.

"But you will never have to feel pain again.", she rolled her eyes as if she was talking to a stubborn boy and not a grown man. "Death has no power over you now. You would rather die?"

The shadow of Baldur gasped.

"Than ever feel again? Yes. YES! I would rather die."

Baldur swallowed hard.

"Yes.", he mumbled, while a dark shimmer appeared in those bright blue eyes of his.

He looked like a broken man in that moment.

He was a broken man.

"Take it away, mother...", the memory begged.

Sobbing filled the air.

The woman shook head head full of lone hair.

"I can't...", she admitted but sounded like she was slowly regretting what she had done. "It doesn't work like that... Son."

"Please... please, please, take it away."

"Trust me, in time you'll thank me. You will thank me."

The shadow moved, raised his hands. It looked like he was about to hug her. But his hands lowered instead, threatening to close around her neck.

At the sight, Baldur flinched. Excited, he leaned forward.

"Come on.", he hissed and wanted to punch her.

Worried, you hugged him tighter.

But he was too occupied by the memory of his cursed life.

"No...", the shadow let his hands fall to his sides. "I won't..."

Baldur flinched.

"C'mon.", he mumbled. "C'mon..."

His whole body was stiff, his hands clenched into fists.

"You ruined my life...", the shadow said, so calm yet disappointed that it hurt to listen to it.

"Honey, we can figure this out, I promise, trust me I know how the-!", she wanted to place a hand on his shoulder but backed away in fear as he raised his hand and threatened to stab her.

Excited, Baldur let out a sharp breath. His eyes followed the movements of the two, as he forced her to her knees.

"No, you can't fix this, mother.", the shadow growled.

"Do it!", Baldur screamed and had to force himself to hold back. "COME ON!"

Something inside your chest pulled together.

But the shadow let her go.