Baldur x Reader

Twenty-Four

"Where are we flying?", you asked while braiding some more strands of Baldur's hair. "The air here smells different."

His back was turned to you while he sat on the neck of the dragon and stared into the distance, where a curtain of clouds hid the outline of a mountain with a flat, snowy tip.

He frowned.

"You can smell the air?", he asked.

You smiled and tied a knot into the braid, so his hair wouldn't fall apart again.

"You can't?", you asked and let your chin rest on his shoulder.

"No. What does it smell like?"

"Hmm. Down where the lake was, it smelled like fish and dirty water. Like mud in a puddle. Up here.", you raised your nose to take a deep breath. "It smells sharp. Like mint and ice."

He let out a deep hum.

"I don't know any of this."

Saddened, you sighed.

"You can't even smell?", you tilted your head and took a small breath in.

It was the first time you took his scent in.

He had a strange smell, not as easily noticeable as the one of a normal person, but existent. It was a tender kind of scent, like the first snowfall in winter, mixed with the last blossom of spring.

It surprised you that a man as violent as he was could smell the gentle.

Somehow, he reminded you of the early years of your childhood that you had spent in the cabin. Back then, you had been a happy child, careless and so full of life. Those times had been happy ones, back when your mother had laughed and allowed you to be a child like any other.

Thinking about it made your chest ache.

"I can't smell scents.", he said and let his fingers run through the strands of your (H/C) hair. "But I do know when things smell different. Flowers have a different smell from water. And blood smells different from fire. But... in the end everything is the same, dull and boring."

With a sigh, you pushed into the touch of his fingers. It was just a small sign of affection, but it was so good, so loving. You imagined how it would feel to be loved by him, truly and deeply loved, like a lover.

He must have been such a tender man before the curse had eaten away on his will to live. He must have known how to express his emotions through actions rather than words.

Maybe your imagination was just getting the better of you, but you were confident that he once had been very affectionate.

"Baldur...", you whispered, lips pressed against his skin. "I wish you a happy ending..."

The words were too silent for his ears to understand, but he shifted, irritated by the sudden sounds.

But even through you wished for him to be a normal man once again, you also couldn't help but feel some unknown pain inside your chest.

It felt like something wrapped around your heart and squeezed it tightly, so tight that you felt physically sick to your stomach.

What was that?

You knew what it was. But you refused to accept it.

After all, you had no right to feel this kind of emotion. Jealousy was something rotten, something that only a person was allowed to feel if the other person had feelings towards them.

Baldur only kept you by his side because he enjoyed your body's suffering. It was so unknown to him that he needed to remind himself through you.

There were no feelings on his side.

So, you had no right to be jealous of loosing something that wasn't yours in the first place.

And yet.

Ans yet there was this small voice in the back of your head that didn't want to stop crying about the day when he wouldn't need you anymore.

With mighty flaps of his wings, the dragon landed on top of an archway that was made from rocks as huge as trees.

A surprise gasped escaped you as your eyes wandered into the depth, down where two figures were standing in front of a tree. It was so deep, it made your knees shake.

Baldur's arm wrapped around your torso, pulling you closer.

Out of reflex, you slid onto his back and wrapped your arms around his neck to hold on tight.

"When we're down there, don't talk to the fools.", he said and glanced over his shoulder to lock eyes with you.

You moved your toes, checking if your legs would be able to run away in a case of emergency.

"Why not?", you asked and leaned for to try and catch a glimpse at the two people.

"They are not the smartest. Violence and arrogance keeps them going.", he pulled a face and clenched his hands into fists.

As he did so, the tattoos on his back twitched with the movement of his muscles.

Your eyes got caught on them, following the small twitched and muscles that started to press against his pale skin.

With the curiosity of a child, you let your hand draw over the blue lines and gently scratched the pictures.

He didn't react to it. His attention was still turned towards the two men.

All of a sudden, you wondered to what extend he felt nothing. It was a silly thought but somehow you imagined it would be possible for him to feel your nails digging into his flesh.

But at the same time you did not wish to hurt him.

At first, you slowly let the tips of your fingers stroke his shoulders.

No reaction from him.

Then, you gently let your nails scratch over the surprisingly soft surface. His skin was as spotless and soft as the one of a newborn. What a strange thing for a man like him.

But as he still didn't react, you dared to put more pressure into the touch.

Red marks were left on his back.

But he remained unmoved.

"Baldur...", you whispered, barely audible and leaned forward to place a kiss at the back of his neck. "Why won't feel my sorrow?"