Baldur x Reader

Forty-Six

The white light rose into the gloomy sky like a sphere of doom. It cut through the clouds, chased away the cold and darkness of Helheim for a moment.

With bated breaths you stood on top of the temple and looked up, trying to see where the end was.

Baldur had told you that this was the only way back. Either this light, or the eternal cold and suffering of the world of the dead.

"I've suffered for so long...", you mumbled and rubbed the palm of your hand with your thumb. "Why can't it stop when it ends?"

Maybe it was just this world, maybe it was the fact that you were a ghost, but the rubbing and poking with your nails didn't hurt. It didn't do the usual tearing and bleeding to your skin.

The only thing that pained your existence was the cold and this never ending feeling that something tried to tear you to the ground and make you crawl on all fours through the gate.

It wasn't a pleasant feeling, a state of mind, but it was better than bleeding whenever the soft touch if grass caressed your skin.

For a moment, as your eyes were glued to this bright, pure pillar of light, you thought about staying and kissing the opportunity to return to the world of the living. The life that you had left behind wasn't one worth living.

A few weeks back you would've wanted to return to it, hoping it would offer more than just your mothers mood swings and pain while experiencing beauty.

But now things were different.

Travelling with Baldur had shown you the world. Not all of it. But more than you could have ever dreamed off.

If you would die now, you would die satisfied, knowing that you didn't miss out on everything.

But as your legs twitched and wanted to turn your back on the light, something inside your chest pulled together. Struck by the pain, you fell to your knees and gasped.

Something thick, dark suddenly dripped from your hand.

Was that blood?

No, that couldn't be.

The dead did not bleed. They only suffered mentally. Physical suffering had no consequences in the realm of death.

But as you looked down to your chest, right where the black ball of smoke was beating like a corrupted heart, it seemed like you were bleeding indeed.

"How strange...", you mumbled and pulled yourself back up. "Am I... bleeding for something? Someone..?"

His eyes jumped back to the light.

It was slowly starting to rotate around itself, like a spiral of force and shimmer. The rotation felt so powerful you almost lost your balance and slid off the roof as you stepped closer.

A shockwave of force hit you as your hand reached out for the light.

With your teeth clenched and eyes squinted, you leaned forward, against the power. Your hand was trembling with effort. Your fingers stiffened and stretched out so far until they were as straight as sticks.

The light blinded you.

"No!", you gasped as you were able to feel your foot slipping. "No! I can't... I don't want to... Baldur. I want to see Baldur again!"

Warm tears suddenly ran down your cheeks.

What was that?

Were the dead truly able to feel such strong emotions?

Were they able to shed tears of regret instead of murmuring their own mistakes?

"Baldur...", you called out as your fingers broke through the hard shell. "Wait for me... just a little longer..."

Slowly, the light started to consume your existence. Like a void, it pulled you closer, from the arm, to the shoulder and the head.

The touch was warm yet cold.

Wet yet dry.

It felt wonderful yet like the worst thing those nine cruel realms had to offer.

As your black tears touched the sparks, a hissing sound filled the silence and the smell of the sea reached your nose.

No, it wasn't the smell of the sea. It was the smell of frozen water and freshly fallen snow.

It was the smell of winter.

The scent of Baldur.

All of a sudden, an immense force grabbed you. Without warning, your entire body was thrown into the air.

A scream of surprise escaped you as the light swallowed everything that your existence had to offer, your body, the quick heartbeat, your voice and those memories that made a dead person cry as if they were still a being of flesh and emotions.

It hurt.

It hurt worse than hell.

As the pressure of the light stopped pulling you up, gravity tore you down again.

With immense force, you hit the ground. All the air got pressed from your lungs. You doubted that it was possible to breath as a soul, but it felt like your lungs pulled together and you were about to choke.

Coughing, you floated into the air again.

Your head snapped around, trying to find a way to notice where you were. You needed to find your body and return to it.

But as your eyes caught a glimpse of a village, something in the back of your brain tingled.

"No...", you shook your head violently. "No, remember want you have to do. Remember. Remember!"

Baldur's face appeared before your inner eye.

Gasping, you tore your eyes wide open and turned away to follow the instincts that was calling you. It was your body.

But not a moment later, you faltered again.

"Mother!", you gasped.

The familiar face of the woman that had birthed you appeared in the distance. But something about her was strange.

She was smiling. As careless as a human could be, she was walking down the street, arms locked with a stranger and smiled.

"Don't you regret it?", the man asked who accompanied her.

She shrugged.

"Never.", her head turned to the side and for a moment it seemed she noticed you. "No, I would never miss a curse like this."

Something inside your chest pulled together.

"So, you'll stay with me?"

"I'd love to. I won't ever go back to that rotten cabin anyways."

You pulled a face.

"I love you too, mother...", you hissed and turned your back on her. "But I won't need you ever again."

Quickly, you followed the instinct that was calling you.

Time was running out.