Baldur x Reader

Thirty-Eight

"I never want to see you again...", the memory said in a cold, empty voice while looking down on her like she was the worst thing all the nine realms had to offer. "Never."

He turned away.

Angered, Baldur lunched the mirror of himself only for it to disappear and fade to nothing.

She sobbed.

"Coward!", he hissed and turned to her.

Frowning in worry, you hugged him tighter.

"Baldur...", you whispered, hoping it would comfort him.

But he was too consumed by his own misery.

With hate in his eyes, he looked down on her while she sobbed. His hands clenched into fists as he stood in front of her and watched.

He chuckled, but it wasn't the insane kind of chuckle. It was a desperate one, so full of pain and despair.

"Oh, what you did to me...", he sounded like he was about to die from suffering. "WHAT YOU DID TO ME!"

Screaming and yelling, he tried to stop her as she got up. But his punches and kicks only hit nothing.

Her form dissolved into white snow and foggy strands, only to be taken by the wind and leave him without satisfaction.

Sobbing and groaning, he fell to his knees.

Your body wasn't heavy enough to get dragged down as well. Instead, you remained floating in the air. Your hands reached out for him in an attempt to calm the sorrow that was shimmering inside those tired eyes of his.

But he didn't react to your touch.

"I'm a coward...", he whined, twisting and turning in pain while the snow around him wetted his clothes. "I'm a... I'm a coward... I'm a worth- worthless coward..."

He wanted to cry. His body stiffened and twitched, his eyes reddened.

But not a single tear fell to the floor.

He just suffered without being able to do so like a normal man. Even this little bit of normality had the curse taken from him.

"Baldur...", with a pained expression on your face, you wrapped your arms around him.

But it only made it worse.

"I'm such a coward!", he screamed and grabbed your arms so tightly that his touch actually hurt. "Why? Why?! I can't... this coward isn't worthy... you shouldn't be so kind... I'm not worth it..."

His whining filled your ears like a song. It only showed how damaged he really was, how badly this curse was hurting his mind and soul.

Listening to his despair made you feel like your heart was about to shatter into a thousand pieces.

"Don't...", you breathed a kiss to his cheek. "Please don't..."

He pulled a face, tortured by the fact that he wasn't able to feel those loving attempts to comfort him.

"I'm just a coward, little butterfly... don't you see?"

"And I'm a fool who will never get rid of the curse that runs through my blood."

"I should have killed her."

A sad sigh escaped you.

"But would it have given you peace?", you let your forehead fall against his temple. "It wouldn't have lifted the curse. So tell me, would killing her give you satisfaction?"

For a long, very long moment, he fell silent.

His hands fell into his lap, fingers opened and closed again as if he was realising he had full control over them.

"I don't- she did this to me.", his breathing quickened as he looked at his shaking hands.

"And if you kill her, so be it. But you can do it now. The past only makes you regret. The future is what you desire. You desire to kill her now. And if it is what will give you peace, then so be it. Now. And for the future."

Taking a deep breath in, Baldur closed his eyes and let out a sigh. His hand found yours to wrap around it.

"You're too naive for this world.", all of a sudden, his voice was cold and calm.

The sudden change gave you goosebumps. Sometimes, it scared you how easily his mood was able to change.

But maybe it was just because he lived through this for ages. Maybe it was because he was already used to it.

"I'm just not bitter.", you drew a line of kisses down his cheeks, where tears were supposed to dry.

He pulled a face and got up.

"Not yet.", his hand kept holding onto you.

But it felt harsh and less loving than it did before.

With an apologetic expression, you grabbed his face and forced him to look at you.

"Once this is fixed, I'll take your bitterness.", you breathed a kiss to the tip of his nose.

He chuckled, bitter and yet pleased by the offer.

"You must think of yourself as a godly being...", he said and lay a hand on your cheek as well.

In that moment, his eyes softened again.

"No.", you shook your head but couldn't get rid of the unpleasant truth that Mimir had confirmed. "But part of me isn't human."

"Well, not a single part of me is."

"I guess that long ago."

"And you're not disgusted?"

Unsure, you curled your lips.

"Truth be told, I was surprised, a bit frightened even. But not disgusted. My mother told me stories when I was a kid. The gods sound like terrible rulers."

He nodded, an amused smirk on his bearded face.

"They are the worst.", he confirmed.

"And I feel the same about my father. A god I've never known.", you let your forehead fall against his. "But I know you. At least I hope so. And I could never hate you. You were so good to me."

"I hurt you."

"But you tried to be better. And I love that."

"Trying isn't enough."

"Then we will find a solution so you won't have to try anymore. But first, you need to get this boy."

"Am I not a selfish coward?", he huffed.

"I allow you to be."

With a painful sigh, he shook his head.

"I'll be good to you, little butterfly. That's all I want.", he kissed your forehead.

Surprisingly, you were able to feel the touch of his lips. It made your heart skip a beat.