Baldur x Reader

Forty-Three

With a soft breath, Baldur lowered his gaze and closed his eyes to calm the nerves that started to make his head feel all wobbly, excited and yet overwhelmed at the same time.

White clouds rose from his lips. As his tongue licked over them, a metallic taste spread inside his mouth.

"So this is what blood tastes like...", he mumbled to himself and had to smile again.

"Not a step closer.", Kratos warned. "Stay away from her."

As he looked up again, Baldur felt at ease. Not just at ease, but he also felt relieved.

His body was calm and relaxed while freezing like it never did before. He was uncomfortable but that feeling was what made him feel good after all those years of nothing.

"I need to talk to her.", he said in a calm voice.

The man let out a displeased sound.

"You won't hurt her."

Baldur shook his head.

"I don't feel... I don't feel the desire to hurt her anymore. Her death would mean nothing to me anymore."

Kratos frowned.

"Why all of a sudden?"

For a moment, Baldur thought about it. His lips pressed into a thin line while his nose picked up the smell of frozen soil and dust, mixed with the water of the lake.

"Don't get me wrong.", he met the man's eyes with honesty. "I still hate her. I still feel ill towards her."

"Then leave now. We'll let you go and you both will live."

Again, Baldur shook his head. He felt so helpless all of a sudden. So weak.

After all those years of feeling nothing, feeling anything at all was great. Even the worst feeling was able to make him smile.

But not this one. This one made him feel like he was about to loose everything good he had gained right away.

His eyes turned to the sky.

"There is someone...", he started explaining, but he was more talking to himself then to the man in front of him. "A human. Well, not really. A butterfly. My butterfly."

Kratos frowned.

"What is that supposed to mean?", he asked, his eyebrows drawn together.

Baldur shrugged.

He didn't really know himself what he was talking about. But in that moment it made him feel all warm inside, talking about you. Thinking about you. It just made him feel good.

The best he had ever felt.

"I've came to care for this little butterfly, so fragile and strange. And yet, every time we are together, my hand reaches out on its own. I want to touch those delicate wings and mark them as mine.", he locked eyes with Kratos again. "I can't loose this feeling that grows inside me every time I think about my little butterfly. I... I don't want to."

"Your feelings have nothing to do with me. Leave her alone."

"You don't understand. As much as I hate her. As much as I won't forgive her... she's the only one that can give me back my butterfly."

Kratos let out a low growl.

His eyes wandered up to Freya, who was cursing and screaming while rolling through the snow.

The boy lay a hand on his fathers shoulder.

"Father.", he said with a begging shimmer in his young eyes. "Just let him ask."

"Why would you support him? He tried to kill you."

The boy looked up at Baldur. He frowned.

"I know. But... he could have continued to fight us. But he didn't. He got what he wanted."

"That doesn't mean his anger is gone."

Baldur nodded in agreement.

"Like I said.", he sighed. "I'll hate her for the rest of her existence. But... killing her wouldn't give me the satisfaction I wish for. I know what could calm my hate. I need her. That's why she'll live."

Kratos frowned.

"And if you don't need her anymore?", he asked.

Baldur shrugged.

"Then I won't have a reason to be around her anymore. One request and I'll be gone for good.", he offered him a hand. "And I'll leave you two alone as well. I won't have a reason to follow you anymore."

A long moment of silence spread between them.

The boy tugged his fathers arm.

"Father.", he tried to convince him.

But Kratos made him shut up with a dark look. Then he turned to Baldur again.

"You'll leave me and my son alone.", he demanded with a growl. "And after you got from her what you wanted, she'll never see you again either."

He accepted the handshake, but did it in such a raw, brutal way, that it made Baldur huff and clench his teeth.

His blood got stuck to the palm of the man's hand. It hurt like hell, as if the mistletoe was still stuck inside his flesh.

But in the end, he was just glad that he was able to feel anything at all.

With a jump, he climbed up to his mother.

As she noticed how close he was all of a sudden, the tears dried. With a hopeful look in her eyes, Freya raised her head and spread her arms with a warming smile.

"My boy.", she gasped, relieved.

But as she tried to hug him, he back away.

His hands clenched into fists.

All of a sudden, he felt like a fire was burning up inside his chest. He felt sick to his stomach, actually, physically sick. But he knew that giving in to that feeling would ruin his chances of ever seeing you again.

So, he closed his eyes, took a deep breath and swallowed the anger that tied his throat.

"I need something from you, mother...", he said in a forced, calm voice, with his teeth gritted.

The happiness faded from her eyes. But she didn't stop smiling.

"Will you ever forgive me?", she asked, struggling to hold herself back from getting too close.

She knew that her desperate attempts to make him love her again would only drive him further away.

But there was this desire shimmering inside her eyes, that even he could recognise.

With a shake of his head, he took another step away.

"I will never.", he said, feeling his chest tighten all of a sudden. "But I might be able to see something else in you than the monster that cursed me."

"Anything. I'll do anything."

"Then pray you'll be able to."