Chapter 39

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HOPE

It's Monday and school again. Spring break is over and I hate that we have to be in school. Even if Zeke has the same classes as me, I can't touch him like I want to with all these people around. At least not in a naughty way. I just need to feel him and hold him. We hold hands every chance we get, even when we're sitting next to each other in class when we don't need to write or do some science project.

I feel like I've gotten a little more self-confidence and I'm glad that I'm brave enough to wear other clothes than hoodies now. My body isn't as scrawny anymore. I'm still a little on the thinner side, but not so much that my ribs show anymore. It's great to be able to wear short-sleeve tops when it's starting to get so warm outside.

At lunch, we sit outside at the table closest to the woods. That's become our table, and no one else bothers to sit there since they're afraid of Zeke. Zack is back at school, and there are rumors that Zeke beat him up, but there's no proof since he didn't touch him. He just threatened him. I don't know if he believes the story the nurse and principal told him about the hallucinations, but no one would believe him anyway. They would just think that he was crazy if he told them the truth.

I'm not as nervous about the pack-meeting anymore. I mean, a little, but I feel okay about it for some reason. Zeke and I have been out in the woods almost every day after school this week. I've gained a lot of strength so I can walk further and my appetite has gotten back to what I assume is normal. I don't eat as much as the werewolves, of course, but I enjoy eating and Kate is teaching me how to cook.

Richard talked to one of their pack-doctors, Dr. Alana, about Zeke marking me several times. She had never heard of it before, and neither had the other doctors. She didn't think it was anything to worry about since I'm feeling more than fine⸺she even gave me a quick check-up⸺but the she's going to contact one of the elders to see if they have heard about it.

Zeke marked me once more when we played 'Run from the big bad wolf' once again the other day. It's such a thrill to have him hunt me even if it's just for fun, and he would've caught me straight away if it wasn't, but since I've gained a lot of strength this past week, I could run a lot faster and much further this time. I ran zigzag around some trees, jumped over some fallen trees and jumped over the little stream to try to confuse him. I actually thought that I had lost him after that, because I could hear him growl and felt him being a little anxious.

When he caught my scent and came after me, I squealed, giggled and tried to run from him again, but he caught up with me fast. He shifted back to his human-form, took me against a tree and sunk his canines into me again. That same euphoric feeling and adrenaline rush ran through my whole body, but this time, I felt even more stronger afterwards than that exhausted feeling I've had before. I was tired, but I could walk home...if Zeke would've let me. He insisted on carrying me anyway.

It's Saturday and time for the pack-meeting. I'm wearing a new dress that Kate bought me that's beautiful. I'm a little nervous, but not at all as much as I thought that I would be. I feel stronger than I've ever been, and Zeke holding my hand makes it all better.

Richard and Evelyn have gone into the big hall to talk to the pack-members before Zeke and I step inside. Some of them have already seen me in the village, and most of the warriors have seen me since I can't stay away from Zeke completely during their training sessions outside. I try to stay away most of the time since he needs to focus, but when I know that they're almost done, I sneak out there to see him in action. Seeing him fight, even if it's just training, is such a turn on.

We hear Richard talking inside, "As you all know by now, Zeke has found his mate, your future Luna. She's human, but has been introduced to our world. Please welcome Luna Hope," he says.

Zeke and I open the door and walk up on the stage. Everyone is clapping and looks at me curiously and with admiration. They all seem happy. Zeke projects calmness through our bond and I actually feel okay about standing here in front of everyone.

Before Zeke marked me and we completed the mating-process, I would never have been comfortable enough to stand here in front of hundreds of people...hundreds of werewolves. I would surely have gotten a panic attack.

Now, I'm stronger, I'm proud to be Zeke's mate and feel like I can do this as long as I have him by my side. It's still two years left until Zeke and I take over the pack, and I'm not as nervous about it anymore. In those two years, I'm confident that I will be fit enough to support Zeke.

I give them a little wave and a big smile.

"Welcome, Luna Hope" they all say in unison.

After the introduction and Richard talking some more, we mingle a little. They're all so nice and welcoming, and I feel my heart swelling. I'm moved that so many people see me. Me, the invisible nobody. They like me and want to get to know me. I'm suddenly important to so many people. I get a little overwhelmed and Zeke feels it, so he excuses us and we leave and walk out in the hallway.

"What's wrong, Hope?" Zeke says worriedly and lifts me up by my thighs.

I start crying, but it's not sad tears.

"I'm just overwhelmed," I say, sobbing. "No one has even noticed me before, and now hundreds of people care about me and want to get to know me."

"Of course they do. You're the pack's next Luna. You're really important to this pack and you will make a great one. You're so compassionate and kind, just what a Luna should be. It's my job to run this pack, and yours to be my support and also the pack's. Just by being kind and listening to them when they want to talk, they will look up to you and protect you with all that they have. I know that they already adore you. I could feel it. The whole pack felt more at ease, knowing that they have their next Luna here with them."

I nod and sniffle, and Zeke kisses me.

"I love you, Hope."

"I love you too," I say, smiling, and I suddenly have this exhilarating feeling in my body. Love, warmth, care from so many people, and I know that it's genuine. They don't pretend to like me because I'm Zeke mate. I can feel them projecting their love and care for me. How, I don't know, but I guess they're all talking about me now, and I can't feel any negative feelings at all.

"How can I feel them?" I ask Zeke.

He smiles. "Now when they all know who you are and you're officially a part of this pack, you will have a connection with them. A pack has a strong connection amongst members. That's why a big back is stronger. Not just physically to be able to defend ourselves, but also mentally. It's not the same connection that you and I have, but you will be able to feel if our pack is happy and healthy or if it's suffering somehow. You can't feel everyone's emotions and who feels what, but the pack as a whole. That's why the Luna is so important. Since I'm a werewolf, I can feel each member's emotion if I focus on them, but as an Alpha, I have more important things to focus on to have a functional pack. If you would ever feel like the pack is suffering somehow, you have to tell me and we will fix it together. We will get to the bottom with the problem even if it's just a small one. The pack's wellbeing is really important, because without them, you don't have a pack."

He wipes away my tears and kisses me again, then carries me up to our bedroom. He helps me out of my dress and I just stand there in my underwear and admire him while he takes his suit off. He looks so formal today, so strong. He's an Alpha, a leader, and a great one. They really care about their pack and try to run it the best way possible. They want everyone to be happy and healthy, and I couldn't have ended up in a better place than this. It's like going from hell to heaven, and I'm so glad that Zeke stopped me that day at the cliff. The real heaven is surely not as good as this. Imagine what I would've missed out on if I had jumped.

I wish I would've known that my life would turn to the better⸺so much better. If I had, I could've endured weeks, months, maybe years just to get to this in the end. To feel happiness. I wish that everyone with suicidal thoughts would think just one more time before they make their decision. Just one time. What if it actually gets better? If I do this, what if I miss out on the most wonderful life? I know that when you've hit rock bottom⸺because I had myself⸺ those thoughts are so far away that you've given up on them, but please think again. That's all I'm asking.

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