Hindsight

Chapter 4

As the days passed, me and Jungkook were slowly warming up to each other. We would greet each other in the morning and talk during breakfast in the room, seeing as we both preferred peace and quiet over the loud chatter, before separating paths for our treatments.

I learned that his mother passed away just when he was a baby, and his father lived in the states. He apparently left Jungkook a load of money to survive and then ditched him saying something about living properly and being independent.

"I don't remember much about my mom, but my dad does visit!" His voice raised towards the end of his statement with...hope?

"Sometimes" he whispered, softly after a few seconds.

My heart reached out to the boy, as I was very familiar with the loneliness that engulfed you when the people who nurtured you, took care of you, and loved you, left you to struggle alone.

"Well, I guess we relate on by that then" I said, softly.

Seeing his questioning gaze i elaborated, "My father died when I was 10. Heart attack. Mom says she cares, but we both know how much she means that."

Looking up I saw him staring at me with an unreadable expression. His once void eyes held so much emotion, so much, yet still couldn't be deciphered. At times, it frustrated me how he had managed to show so much, yet so little. Hiding his emotions was easy for him as he never completely let his guard down. When trust is broken once, it takes a long time to stitch back the wound. I might not be an actual bad person in his eyes, but that wound is still bleeding. And the stitches wouldn't ever be free.

"Life only throws hurdles at those who can handle it, right? Let's stay positive. We will eventually get out of here, right?"

Getting down on my knees, I cupped his face with my hands and looked deep into his eyes and smiled, hiding the immense pain I felt at thus question.

"Yeah. We will." I whispered.

The next second, I felt a pair of large arms engulfing me. Blushing heavily at the close proximity, my hands were still cupping his cheek. Hesitantly pulling them out of his tight hold, I slowly wrapped them around his neck, the only place accessible. He bear-hugged me tight as he snuggled his face into the crook of my neck, letting out small, laboured breaths making my neck feel ticklish.
Shutting his eyes close, his eyes lashes brushed against my neck. By this time I was sure that my face was a tomato. Warm joy radiated off as we practically clung on to each other, desperate for warmth and hope. We both felt safe in each other's embrace and an emotion that I lost, one that I once had thought would never come gave to me came gushing in at once.

Home

.....

Sighing, I got into my bed, having already changed into my pyjamas. Looking to my right, I was surprised to see Jungkook's bed empty. He was usually here by now, what was he doing? Lights were going to be off in just a few minutes. I was contemplating on searching for him myself when the doors opened , and a boy in wheelchair came in. His hair was pushed back, as if he had walked through a windy storm. His eyes seemed content, as the black orbs held a soft look and his nose was slightly red at the top. He wasn't outside, was he? It was pretty cold outside, seeing as though winter had just set foot. Locking eyesight with me, his hands trying to ouch the wheels faster, he rushed over to his bed. After the nurse did a count of everyone, she turned around, switching off the light and closing the door. After a few seconds, Jungkook suddenly shot up as if he was waiting to see if she would come back. His actions startled me, as I jerked in bed and sat up.

"Where were you!" I whisper-shouted.

"I found something" he answered excitedly.
After a few seconds of silence I sighed and asked "What did u find, kook?"

Grinning, he got onto his wheelchair. "Get up, I want to go somewhere"

"Kookie it's lights out. If we get caught, we are done for!"

"Come ooooonn Sera, don't be such a worry wart. I wanted to show you something"

Sighing, I got up, carefully carrying my IV drip along with me and followed him outside the door.

He led me through the halls, towards the back side of the building. I hadn't really been here much, seeing as though most of my time was spent either in the bedroom ward or the terrace.

He smiled, showing his pearly white bunny teeth. Something in me went soft. That smile. It gave me so many emotions, one of which I didn't want to name out loud.

We got into the elevator and I saw hi, press the furthermost top button.
"The terrace?"

Humming in response, he rolled himself forward onto the ramp and outside the door.

I hated the night sky. The darkness was something I just couldn't deal with. Sure it was beautiful, but the dark has always haunted me, somehow reminding me that it wouldn't stop dripping over the white.

"Kook, I don't think we're supposed to be he..."
My words faded as I stepped outside, into the cold.

Winter had begun, tiny snowflakes were descending onto my pale skin.

Oddly, I didn't hate the feeling.

The feeling of darkness.

It didn't bring me despair like it always did.

And then it clicked.

Jungkook

All my life, I was alone

There was darkness everywhere, I was just alone.

Jungkook was the first person I met that didn't make me feel soulless.

He was that white paint that dared to drip over the already dried acrylic blue.

The white that the blue had been dreading, and I had unknowingly been hoping for.

He erupted emotions that I didn't even know existed from inside of me.

The emotion I never wanted to let go.

The emotion I had been craving.

The emotion that binds two together.

The emotion

Of love.

'WHAT THE-'