How To Fix A Broken Beta

Chapter 5

I fall to the floor on impact tears immediately flooding my eyes. I don't let them fall though. I tried to keep my breathing steady I can't have another panic attack. a shiver ran through me as I remembered the last time I had one in front of him.

---- two years ago
He almost hit me. the man I called dad almost hit me. He stopped himself but he was going to. I crawl into a ball pressing my back farther into the wooden cabinet under out kitchen counter. I squeeze my eyes shut trying to block out the screaming but knowing it is useless. my hair surrounds my face sticking to my cheeks as warm tears cascade down them. most people would have ran. locked themselves in their room or even ran to a neighbors house after their dad raised a hand to them but I couldn't. I knew my mom wasn't scared of my dad like I am. she loved him and because of that she couldn't see the monster in his eyes. I loved him just as dearly believe me but I knew what happened after a few bottles he isn't the same. "go up to your room jayde" he screams looking at me. I don't respond knowing I won't listen. "you ungrateful bitch this is my house and you won't disobey me!" He screams again lifting his hand up to me. I closed my eyes righty and flinch. "WHAT are you doing do you not see she is scared? Look what you are doing! She's terrified of you. that's why she won't leave she's scared of what you will do to me if she does." my mother said to him. my breathing hitched she was right after all. at this I couldn't hold it anymore. I went into a panic attack. I've not ever had one in my life and it was mild compared to this. "see what IVE DONE? Do you see what she is doing?! Having one of her fake ass panic attacks that YOU taught her how to have! She isn't my daughter but she sure is yours!" He screamed. I couldn't help it anymore I couldn't take what he said about me I just pray my mom is ok. I run out of the kitchen into the living room. my dad stomps in behind me and I stop in my tracks watching him carefully. "this is MY house jayde and you will not disrespect me." he said loudly. pure hatred burned in my stomach. This house was not his, my mothers father bought it for us before I was even born. it was paps house. he bought it and it always will be that way in my mind. I just shouldn't have let it out of my mind. "this is paps house! You did nothing for it!" I screamed at him. I screeched as I seen something fly towards my head hearing a shatter behind me. I look beside me and see green shards of glass. a beer bottle.... he thew it at my head for the intention of hurting me. at that moment I knew that little daddies girl had died.

I laugh as I recall how I was surprised at how he could even raise a hand to me at that house with my mother in it. we moved into the pack house shortly after that incident. my mother had left me behind and my father couldn't stand to see that house so he sold it. sold something that was never his. my mother wasn't the greatest woman ever either but she was better than my dad in he sense of she had never hit me. I used to have the perfect family.... that's before my grandfather died. I was ksnapped out of my thoughts when my stomach caved in because of a powerful kick. he continued to do this and I knew if he didn't stop soon I was going to have broken ribs. Don't cry don't cry I pray to myself but with another powerful kick I broke. as did at least two of my ribs. the kicking stopped and I heard him mumble "pathetic pup. can't take a hit. Worthless doesn't deserve anything." I cried and tried to stand up only to fall back fine again causing myself more pain. I was having trouble breathing and I knew I was going to have to go to the pack doctor or I would never heal right. how am I suppose to explain this though? It doesn't matter I decided before mind linking Kat asking her to come help me.
-Kat I'm really sorry because I know your probably sleepin but can you please come help me. I'm by the front door I need help going down to the pack doctor- I said after a few moments she replied groggily -be down in a few just hold on jayde- I breathed in ragged but I could breathe none the less. That's all that matters. after awhile I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. "oh my god jayde are you ok?" Kat asks running to my side. she doesn't attempt to help me up obviously not knowing if I have anywhere uninjured. "Yeah just think I have a few broken ribs and maybe ankle." I say hoarsely because of the limited amount of air. "don't forgot a badass looking black eye." kat winks trying to make the conversation lighter. I laugh only to have it turn into a cough because if the great pain it caused. "I'm sorry jayde... I didn't know" Kat said carefully helping my up from my elbow. "it's ok you couldn't have known it would hurt me to laugh." I said trying to smile. she looks at me sad and I realize that is not what she meant. Kat opened the door and dragged me through to across the road to a little yellow house that belongs to the pack doctor. this isn't allows mother because she is the doctor of the other pack but she's also very well known and respected by me and the others. after kat got me into the house I waved her off telling her to go to bed after awhile of convincing I finally got her to agree. "oh dear lord what happened hun?" Tracey our pack doctor said. "just fell down the stairs again miss Tracey you know how clumsy I am." she nodded eyeing me suspicious but didn't question me farther. she bandaged up my broken ribs and sprained ankle telling me not to put pressure on it for at least a week and use crutches. I heal faster than a human but she needs to break it agin because it already began healing correctly and after she did it again it will take longer. Also she said no school tomorrow. I normally wouldn't argue but my fat will be mad if I skip school. he won't be home to know anyway right? I want so sure but I knew I had to try because Tracey told me so and she always pushes you to get on your feet as soon as physically able. I thanked her and hobbled back to the house quietly going into my room. I grabbed my laptop and wrote for awhile on my bed it's to risky to go I to my roof with a sprained ankle. another message from the last person caught my eye.
I'm not sure if that girl is you or not but I spent some time with her today and I havnt been that happy in a long time. The message said. my heart skipped a beat what if that's Lukas? I spent time with him today... it makes a lot of sense. I couldn't have brought him that much happiness though. Even if I did I won't for long. as soon as he learns what I've gone through and how broken I am he won't want me anymore. he can't have a broken Luna. I promised to give him a chance though and that's exactly what I will do. give him a chance to turn me into the mate he needs to run his pack by his side. I don't know if it is possible but if anyone can do it I am positive it's Lukas. I shut my laptop having nothing else to say for the night. I closed my eyes and drifted into a light sleep filled with nightmares.
----
The next day when I woke up I tried to get up for school despite what the pack doctor had told me. it wasn't any use though because I could barely lift myself out of bed myself. I listened for any voices but none sounded like my father I sigh in relief realizing he's already gone for the day. I didn't have any more ideas to add to my stories so I decided to read. I picked up and read my latest book eragon. it was about a farm boy who becomes a dragon rider. don't let me describe it to you though I can't give the book justice it was pretty good. my wolf was screaming to get out at this point so I reluctantly agreed and crawled out of my window carefully my leg and ribs were still sore but once I shift it should be completely healed. I stripped off my clothes and ran off the roof in human form doing a flip in air and landing hard on my paws. That is a trick I have learned to do over the years. it started when I was little I knew how to do it in human form before I shifted but transforming into your wolf seconds before needed is amazing. Tricks like that are the closest to going back to dance that I'll ever do. I did dance as a pup taking after my mom. I was into lots of things she had me in gymnastics and dance something she thought she could share with me. we often joined the studio together for dances and she even taught my class when I was eight. I decided to join a creative writing class myself and I will pride myself on doing one thing right. I wasn't paying attention to caught up in my thoughts and ran into a large tree. oomph shouldn't you be paying attention I gave you control. I said to my wolf, who only made a sound of distaste. Fine then be that way I mumbled more to myself then her. after that I decided I ran enough and turned back home. To avoiding everyone I climbed the tree beside the house and jumped on the roof climbing back in my window. I grabbed my clothes and ran Into the shower I was all gross and bloody after all of last nights incidents. The red tinted water went down the drain at my feet. i would assume it's only a nose bleed if it wasn't so much. A loud crash sounded from downstairs. I quickly turned the water off slipping on a pair of sweatpants and hoodie. I ran a brush through my hair and locked my door,after pressing my ear against it. all the rooms in the house where sound proof mostly so you can hear from the outside but it's possible to he's the outside from in. "we gave you permission to be on our land but I must ask you to leave our pack house." I heard Nathan (her father) say in what sounded like a fatherly tone. a bitter taste formed my mouth thinking of how fake it is. "I'm not leaving unless I see her first." a voice replies. I recognize it as Lukas's oh no he's looking for me. "Who's this she wolf you speak of? I'm sure she's here and I can show her to you before you leave." Nathan replied smoothly. "stop acting stupid. it's your daughter you know this!" Lukas growled. I could practically see how my f- I mean Nathan would have reacted. "fine" he grunted before screaming my name. I quickly brushed my hair and rushed up to where the two men were standing. "yes daddy?" I forced from my mouth. he would kill me if I let Lukas know what he does to me. I have to play daddies girl. I pushed it the whole way to coming up to him and hugging him quickly. before I got to pull away though he whispered low enough that Lukas couldn't hear. "good keep playing along I don't care what you have to do just get him to leave you alone." He quickly pushed me off him without Lukas seeing. "what happened to your face?" Lukas asks quickly pulling to closer to him and away from my dad. "calm down I just fell down the stairs. no need to worry too much." I said. he looks at me unbelieving. "how did you get a black eye from falling down the stairs?" I looked at him like I was annoyed and continued "well I faceplated does that answer your question?" "No you Should have broken your nose then." he said. "idk luck I couldn't come today because of a broke ankle and ribs. It's all healed now besides my eye though so you can leave." I said in a irritated voice. Hurt flashed in his eyes but he did as I said and left. "oh umm ok. I'll talk to you later I guess." I closed the door and turned to Nathan, his face was blank and didn't show any emotion. "im sorry he came back. I wasn't aware he would. I would have told him to leave me alone if I could but the pack doctor found me last night and refused to let me go to school. if I would have went she would have questioned my injuries farther." he looked at me in disbelief but turned and walked away. I thought for sure I would be getting a beating after his appearance. I went downstairs set my alarm and laid on my bed till I fell asleep.