Funny Quotes

Part 8

If you ever find me gazing into the distance and wonder what i'm thinking about. The answer is food.

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When i'm loud, people tell me to be quiet, but when i'm quiet people ask me what's wrong with me.

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In bed, it's 6AM, you close your eyes for minutes and it's 7:45. At school, it's 1:30, close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 1:30.

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Don't you ate it when your mad at someone and they make you smile.

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My friends: you're so mean sometimes.

Me: I'm not here to make friends. I'm here to be America's next top model.

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A man in a room full of women is ecstatic. A woman in a room full of men is terrified.

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Me: *Tries to go to bed at a reasonable time*

Me: Ah yes

Me: 4 A.M.

Me: Perfect.

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1/2 of me wants to look smokin' hot in a bikini this summer. The other 1/2 of me doesn't even care and wants to eat all of the cake.

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I'm gonna have a lot of pets and give them regular names like Matthew or Jennifer s when people ask me if I have plans I can be like "Yeah i'm gonna hang out with Michael and Lucy" and people will think i'm really sociable when in fact i'll just be at home cuddling all my pets.

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Distance doesn't really mean anything if you're close to the person

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-Text-

-I wanna see you

-Go on my Instagram

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What's the difference between me and a calender?
A calender has dates....

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Mom: Why can't I zoom in?

Me: It's Instagram mom , idk that's just how it is

Mom: a heart just came up?

Me: Just give me back my phone

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When Skies are blue, you'll be my boo, if skies are grey? Your still my bae

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You know when you yell someone's name in the hallway and they don't hear it but everyone else does

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I have to be funny because being hot isn't an option

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