I watched from my doorbell camera as Chris stacked his suitcases at my door..
I hope this idiot doesn't think he's staying with me. I got on the app so I could speak to him through the camera.
"What in the world are you doing?"
"Oh hey baby.."He came close to the camera and blew me a kiss. Chris really thinks he's hot shit. Like this man is old enough to be some of yalls daddy and he's out here acting like the fuckboy that haunts all of us.
"Omg. Dont fucken baby me. Wtf have you been doing?"
"Oh man.. this takes me back. I kinda dig it. Ive missed being interrogated like this. Ask me where ive been."
"Fuck off."
"You got that glass of cold water ready for me babe? Or was it lemonade?"
I laughed and unlocked the front door for him to come inside. I knew exactly what he was referring to.
"Not yet. Give me a minute... and it was agua de pina."
"Oh yeah. How could i forget.. I was picking pineapple chunks off my tshirt while I made my escape down the highway. Come down here babe & make sure youre topless."
"Fuck you "
"I knew you missed me." Pleaseee. I forgot I ever agreed to this shit..
I might have already told this story before.. I don't remember but a long time ago, when Chris and I were "dating"-- well.. it was during our "second chance".. Chris somehow convinced me that he changed his ways, right.. it got to the point where I was going around calling him my bf again.
I still cant understand it. 😮💨
But anyway, he was supposed to pick me up & take me on a date one Friday night but his ass stood me up cus he found himself a little tramp at the movie theater and took her out instead. Allegedly.
One of my good friends at the time saw this, called me and told me all about it. Did he have proof? No. But he said he could get it. He swore it was him and this guy never lied to me before, he had no reason to lie about this shit. He was a real one.
He told me he would confront him for me but I told him not to. I shouldve let him do it but I felt this was something I should do myself. I was pissed. I was gonna go down there and do it myself but as I was putting on my shoes, I had a moment to think and felt it wasn't worth it. I decided to sit back and wait for whenever Chris decided to show up again. Just like the praying mantis does with its prey.
I didnt hear from the idiot for like 24 hrs. 😒 i know. Trust me.. i know.
So he showed up the next night all dressed up with these purple flowers and my favorite drink.. and he was like. "Hey baby. You ready for our date?"
The audacity.
He was really out here acting like he got his days mixed up but ya girl was not having it.
I grabbed my cup full of agua de pina & threw it at his face. Like I've done countless times to the idiots in my life but Chris was the first of the bunch.
I remember swinging the front door open and just launching the cup at his face.. icecubes and all.
And he was like,
"Wtf?! What was that for!?"
Straight acting dumb.. my drink dripping down his stupid face, those flowers he was holding out for me were tossed out the door. I shoved him back and told him,
"Fuck you chris! Its over gtfo of my house!" The usual fight followed.. he said it wasn't him. It never was 🙄 some idiot was going around town pretending to be him now, driving around in his broken down car, wearing his stupid fake gold chain. He swore up and down that it wasn't him.
