BLACKOUT

Chapter 1- No face?

BLACKOUT- A story and webtoon by Renee Pirdis
Trigger warning: sensitive topics are included such as homophobia, violence, gore and self harm.

The piercing breeze swept between the strands of my fur as I snatched her arm, squeezing it so tightly that it made marks. The smoke of my cigarette blew between us, I could barely see her proper face. The smell made it even harder to breathe through the energy-draining heat. She tried to squirm from the grips of my arms but I didn't let her. My paws were gripped too tight for her weak little arms to escape.
"Lemon." I said to her, She didn't answer. She only tried to get out of my arms.
"Calm down.." I demanded. She didn't stop, so I gripped my claws in harder. It felt wrong to hurt her. But then again I thought back to the time she had let out one of my deepest secrets to the public which immediately ruined my reputation.
"Argh!!" She yelped. She still didn't reply so I asked her:
"What did I do to deserve your torture? What made you think you could get away with it?"
"My father. He doesn't trust you. And neither do I." I released my grip off her and crossed my arms.
"Why don't you trust me? What have I done to you?" I asked her.
"You're a danger to us."
Ever since I was a young girl, my mind went through unusual illusions at random and my body would be taken over in some sort of possessive way. We called these blackouts. Every time I could hear a faint voice that always sounded unusually familiar. Surprisingly, certain people from my family described these blackouts to be familiar to them too. Their descriptions were always so related to mine. We'd been investigating it ever since.
"I've never hurt you. I can't control this. My body shuts down and I go into some sort of illusionary mindset. Only for a few seconds."
"Oh I know, but I don't think my father knows the reason. I still can't trust you, though."
"He does know. He uses it against me. He doesn't believe me either. I'm only asking why you know and you still hold grudges."
"Because it's not right, Panic. You've hurt other people and that hurts me."
I felt a sudden urge of anger and slammed her against the wall. Her head flipped back and a slight blood spurted from the side of her head. I could feel my heart beating rapidly. Her body was shaking. As she breathed, her voice would stutter. She squinted her eyes so close that tears ran down her cheek as fast as a raindrop. Her breath was cold and icy while mine was deep and hot. The climate turned even warmer. It made me much more sweaty than I already was due to the amount of rage I was feeling at that moment.
"Fuck."
As I was about to speak my head started to pound violently. The migraine grew stronger and stronger after each breath I took. My eyes started to go dizzy as if it were a broken computer and the pixels glitched all over the place. Those exact same voices I could hear were coming back, and they were awfully familiar. I was confused at first on what was happening but then I realised that it was another blackout, and that it may be serious. I knew I had to warn Lemon to leave before we had some violent conflict.
"Lemon, leave."
"What?"
"Now!"
I fell backwards as she turned back and sprinted towards the exit of the building. I tried to leave the opposite way but it was too late. She wasn't fast enough. I lacked hearing, I lacked sight and I lacked movement. All I saw was nothing. All I could remember was seeing her pace away towards the gates of the college until I completely blacked out. My head was still thumping and I could see nothing. I was afraid. I couldn't even hear my own voice, I could feel my lips moving but not my voice. But I could hear one thing. That voice. It was incredibly hard to understand but they were whispering to each other.
"Go." "Go." Is all I could hear, just constant 'go.' It felt like I was draining my own soul. I couldn't stop it. I was imprisoned in this cell of unknown thoughts I couldn't control. That was until, I had woken up to my original self again. I could hear, I could see, I could move. But what I could hear, see or move wasn't pleasant at all.
I found myself sitting on top of a corpse below me. I was in my wolf form as well. Blood was spread out all over my clothing and all over her neck and chest. I then realised what just happened.
But she wasn't dead yet, I could still feel her heartbeat on the side of my thigh. She tried to speak but she was only mumbling. I knew that she wouldn't make it alive. There was nothing I could do. Her loss of blood was going to be the reason for her death. My fucking murdererous mind was going to be the reason for her fucking death.
But I wasn't going to let that stop me from making it right.
I screamed and begged for help as soon as I had the first glance of the blood. I slipped off her and held out my phone to call for help if nobody was there. I wasn't sure how or why I killed her, but I assumed it was with bare hands. After crying for around five minutes for some assistance. Lemon was still alive and I was feeling so much better to finally have someone to help me and to prove that I was a good person.
But then I remembered that I had the blood on my hands. And I saw the Kirahnian pocket knife sitting right next to me. That help wasn't just any regular person. It was the police. Then I realised they weren't here to help me at all.
Then I heard that voice again.
"Perfect."
I was in trouble.