BLACKOUT

Chapter 4- tucked from society

Yes we beat our high score!!" Karma shouted, his paws tapping buttons over his joy-con controllers.
"Look Panic, we did it! Now we can see the new cutscene!"
"I can never get past that score!" I laughed.
"It was easy! All you gotta do is pay attention!"
Suddenly, I got a notification on my phone.
It was a text.
"You nasty slut for girls! You'll never get anyone like I can."
I screenshotted it and sent it to a friend group chat.
"Lmfao look I have paparazzi." I texted.
"Citrus is such a bitch. You know that's her and her little friends just ignoring it." Telescope responds in the chat.
Citrus was my new bully. The sister of Lemon, the one I killed. The crowelle daughters were of three: Lemon,Citrus and Sherbert.
I didn't care what she said.
"Panic, the games started. stop typing to your friends!" Karma screamed, handing the controllers.
I tried to focus on the game but all I could think about was if Karma, Kaos,Ghost and Spirit knew what they were doing to dad.
But I lost it in my head.
"PANIC!"
"What?!" I asked, dropping the controllers.
"Are you even listening? We won!"
"Oh, Yeah sorry Karma I wasn't but, yay!...?"
I climbed up the stairs to get to my room. I had to take the pills. I didn't think the pills were working since I would be nauseous after taking them, but my mum says it's normal.
I heard a buzz from my phone.
"Hate comments. Probably."
"She's a dumbass lol."
Is what Callie replied when I sent Citrus's hate email.
I heard the door swing open as Ghost rushed in with Spirit,Kaos and mum.
"WE GOT PIZZAAAAAA!" Ghost screams at the top of his lungs.
I rush down as I see 4 cardboard boxes, smelling like cheese.
"We got vegetarian, Mediterranean, pineapple and mushroom!" He says opening up the woodfired pizza boxes.
"You must be hungry from all that running around and working out by now all of you?" Mum says, laying down a cloth on the table.
"Yeah!" We all yelp.
After we had our food we all sat down to watch a movie.
Me and Karma set up the snacks while mum and the others decided on a movie to watch.
"Can we watch Vendetta mystery?" Kaos says, showing the title and thumbnail.
"Too explicit for the little kiddies. You,Panic and Karma can watch it though"
I've watched the movie. It triggered my memories from the murder of Lemon so i didn't want to watch it again.
"I'd rather not. It triggered me." I said.
"Oh Yeah." mum says, her ears pricked downwards.
Instead, spirit and Ghost chose their movie which was called Lioness.
We sat huddled up as we watched a movie about a young lion princess who desperately wants to marry another lion who is also female but is told that she has to marry a male lion who she must serve.
It made me think. "She's just like me. I'm the lioness looking for a lioness not a lioness looking for a lion". I related to her. It made me realise how there is little representation to queer animals like me in the media. You barely see movies about transgender animals. You barely see movies about homoexual animals. Why does it always have to be cisgender heterosexual animals? Why is it always little bunnies and mice that are heros and wolves and rhinos the villains? We're always portrayed as the bad guys.
This movie showed exactly what we go through. At the end, she learnt to accept herself and she got to marry the love of her life.
"I want that to be me one day." I say,pointing to the tv.
"I know." Mum says.

I flopped onto my bed,staring at the ceiling.
"Someday, I'll travel the world... find places i've never been to. Find new life in new cities.Travel with a girl one day" I thought.
"What if the games I play are from real places? Like that robot one Karma is obsessed with. What if the characters were real?"
It would be interesting. I did a lot of thinking about the world and other things.
I heard a sudden knock on the door.
"Hey." It was Karma.
"Hey."
"What are you doing?" He asked as he plopped on the bed.
"You know that game that we play? The animal robot one?"
"Yeah?" He said, cocking his head.
"Imagine if they were real. Like the main characters."
"They might be. Who knows. Although, they're humans. I'm not sure if they would be alive."
He knew he would have loved to go there if he found out it was real. So would Callie and Magenta! I would also, but It would be very dangerous.
"Ok, well I just wanted to say that mum is taking us to the shops tomorrow." He said as he opened the door.
I hadn't been at the shopping centre for weeks, so this was the perfect time to be able to go.
My phone started to buzz multiple times. Someone was calling me. My claws gripped onto the sides of it as I swiped up to see that Chrissie was calling me.
"Hey, how are you doing? Everything is alright now?" She says, her face lagging on the screen.
"Yup. Mum just said to not go again without her." I said.
"What are you doing now?"
"Just chilling y'know."
"Ok ok just checking! Cya at school on Monday!" She said as she waved.
"Byee!"
I put the phone down next to my lap as I flopped onto the pillow. I suddenly had a random negative thought.
Why was my life like this? I can't even see my own father anymore. I can't even take my siblings to school without someone bugging us. I can't even have one good day. I can't even express myself. I can't even love who I want to. I can't go a single day without a problem. What was the point of living if it was going to be like this? What's the point of maintaining a good life if everyday is a nightmare in disguise. What's the point of trying to get a girlfriend, trying to have good grades, trying to major in dance when I am treated like a psychotic bitch.
Maybe I am a psychotic bitch? Maybe there is something wrong with me? Maybe I should just let it go. Maybe we should just stop time. Maybe if I turned the lights off, things would be better.
But no. I didn't let go. Maybe I could try another day? Then see what happens.If i woke up in the morning, i could try again.
"Hey watch it kid!"
Nope. Just the same old shit. I only tried to cross the road to get to the shop but apparently, this man doesn't know that when there is a red light, you aren't supposed to go.
I was wearing a black knit turtleneck with my cuffed jeans. I also had my favourite doc martens on. I usually get dressed up when I go out.
I also had my muzzle on to match the outfit. How did I talk? I couldn't. It was only to protect others. And myself.
The shopping centre had beautiful crystal designs and a brown bridge covered in glass from one side of it to the other. I looked through the glass. I was so high. It was right in the middle of the Scarlett city. It was bustling and noisy, but I loved it. It felt good to be by myself but I wouldn't be alone for long. I was meeting up with Karma and mum since Karma had a piercing appointment.
"CLICK!" the piercing gun had made when it clicked into karma's ear.
"There you go mate, you look like a rockstar!" The piercer had said,dapping a cotton ball on the amethyst stud.
He looked so excited to have gotten something he had dreamed of for months. Karma is the second oldest in the family. He's sixteen years and he's pretty mature for a gamer like him. Since my mum is a german shepherd and my dad is a black wolf with some red deer as his mum is a black wolf and red deer mix too, Some of us kids are either mixed or either a dog or wolf. Me and Spirit (oldest and youngest) are mixed. We both have horns from the deer and wolf-dogs. Karma and Ghost are black wolves and Kaos is a german shepherd.
"Now take this antibiotic. You have to spray it on the pierced area two times a day with two squirts. Do that for 6 weeks and don't take the piercing out. It's totally normal if it stings or smells weird!"
He turns to look at me.
"And your sister can definitely help as you have about four piercings on each ear AND a septum so she can definitely help you out on this one."
My first ear piercing was when I was two years old. I got my seconds at eleven and then my thirds at thirteen. I got a septum at fourteen when my face was burnt off. They had to use a very weird, kind of twirling sharp metal equipment that was used to make a hole through my skull since I already had to nostril holes where the air goes through. It didn't hurt at all though.
"Yeah, totally Karma. I went through a lot of pain just to look like this today." I laughed.
"Well thank you!" Mum says as we leave the clinic and she waves goodbye.
"How about we do a bit of shopping don't you think?"
We stepped inside a super colourful shop with many different types of clothing. From argyle sweaters to corduroy crop tops. From pleated skirts to knitted bucket hats. It was my most favourite clothing apparel. Most of the clothing I owned was from this shop.
I picked out a mesh black long sleeve with fairy and angel rabbits on it. I had to get a large because I was so tall. I also picked out a pink low-rise mini skirt with purple lace on the bottom. The clothing was very cheap and good quality. I entered the dressing room and hung up the clothes I was going to try on. The clothing fitted perfectly. The mesh was about 15 dalts (Dollars in this world) while the skirt was 10 dalts.
As I was taking the top and skirt off to change back into my other clothes there was a spam buzz coming from my phone. I bent down to grab it only to see a notification come from an unknown phone number. Someone had called me 10 times and I didn't pick up.
It started to buzz again but also played my ringtone.
"Should I answer?" I thought to myself. I was hesitant about opening unknown caller IDs but maybe it was one of my friends?
"Accept" I tapped. I put the phone close to my ear.
There was heavy breathing.
"Maybe just a scammer?"
I was about to end the call but then a soft voice said my name.
"Hello?" I said. They didn't answer.
"Hellooooo?"
"Panic."
"Yes? Hello, who is this?"
"PANIC!"
"I heard you the first time, who is this?"
"You bitch. You ever come across me again I will rip your throat out of you."
"What?"
"You'll be begging for your life fucking little wolf."
I closed the call. What just happened? Who was this man? Why was he talking to me this way?
I scrambled out of the dressing room. I couldn't tell Mum what happened, things would get worse. "You good? You took a long time there. Do they fit well?" She said, "Y-yeah! I-I was just admiring the patterns." I decided that my super smart and techy friend Magenta would be able to help.
"Wait, so that's his house?!" I said. "Yup. I guess you should just keep an eye out and not tell the police. You know what they're like." Magenta says, zooming into a tall, modern looking house which happens to be owned by the guy that called me.
"It's very strange to know that some guy just came after you for no reason. But you know I can easily hack into devices and stuff so if you need me to help you then I definitely can!"
"Thanks Genta, you're a real one." I said
"Don't call me that!" He laughs, slapping my wrist as we laugh it off.
"But seriously though, anything. Need to find someone? Have a virus? Wanna level up in a game? Need something built? Gotcha."
"Can you mod my gaming devices?" I said, handing it to him.
"Sure I can! Easy peasy!" He says.
"Wait, really?"
"Yup."
But that wasn't important right now, I had to keep an eye out for who this could be. I don't remember his voice, I don't remember the tone.
"Maybe ignore that one for now? It's best we do not investigate. It could be dangerous. It could also be a prank call?" Magenta says.
"You're right. I'll still keep an eye out though."
I tied up the last bit of the tie and loosened. My school uniform I was wearing today consisted of a basic white shirt with a navy blue tie to match the long, wide pants. They had the school's logo on them. I had a honey-orange knit v-neck sweater vest pulled over and black brogues for the preppy look.
The school uniform wasn't too strict at my school. There were many varieties you could pair things with. The only thing was as long as it was the right uniform and if you had a uniform on. The colours were orange,navy blue and of course black and white. They weren't the best choice of colour coding but it works I guess. Scarlett university only had a uniform for certain subjects such as dance or technology. Dance uniform was only t-shirts, leggings,shorts,crewnecks,hoodies,sports bras and sleeveless tops. Then just dance shoes for your specific dance genre.
"You ready to go, 'Nic?" Karma yells.
"Hey don't call me that!" I said, scruffing the little dark-grey tufts on his head.
I step on the gravel as leaves start to fall to the ground and it starts to get colder, autumn is here. I loved the cold weather, I loved the city in the fresh breeze. It made me grateful to live next to my favourite place. It only took two stops to get to the city.
Every morning off to school, you could see the sun rise behind the city as we passed in the trains along the bridge over the ocean floor. One day, I dreamt of working in a bustling place and living in a small apartment with a partner who could hold me tight and we could sit on the balcony, sipping on guava tea watching the sunset before us.
The freezing breeze of the trains shooting by swept along my bangs. We entered the train, young Spirit clenching her paws into mine while Ghost on the other hand tried to let loose. Many different species were on the train. From tiny turtles to enormous elephants. Everyone was trying to get to school or work. As we arrived at school, I saw Chrissie waiting for me. Her ears twisted my way and her nose twitched. Her foxy senses could smell my scent. But us wolves could do that too.
"Panic! There you are, oh my god I thought you wouldn't be coming today!" She said as her long, pink tipped tail shook from side to side; she was happy to see me.
"Magenta told me what happened. Don't go out too much ok? If you get hurt I'll get 'em for you." She gasped.
"Anyways, what class do we have first?" I asked Chrissie as she opened up an app on her phone.
"We got history. We're learning about the.. Uh..." She went silent for a bit.
"The what?"
"The great metazoa war."
We both just stopped.
I knew how sensitive she was about the war. I was too.
The metazoa war, (meaning animal) was the greatest war of Xanixir, (No, not that type of great, i mean big) Many animals fought each other, predator to prey was a huge part of the war, but so was the Canine to Feline war. After the Feline's had won, they took over many of the states in Xanixir that canines owned. Canines were told that felines were superior and must honour them. That's how the oppression against canines started. But there was also oppression against predators or carnivores, which apparently felines are not a part of. Animals like birds, rodents,amphibians and other mammals were confused by the fight between the cat family and dog family. All species have a leader from which animal family they are from.
Ever since animals took over the earth and humans had longer existed, Sea animals like cephalopods and Lamnidae had no contact whatsoever with land and sky animals. We hadn't seen them since. We weren't allowed to have contact with them. We were allowed in beaches but there was never ever a case of an animal going missing beyond the shore. It was banned to go past a certain area in the water. Maybe the government is hiding a whole different world from us?
Chrissie had many family members who fought against other species and died for the canines.
"Is there anyone here who has family members who fought in the war?"
Chrissie put her paw up.
More than half the class's hands were put up.
"That's why we must acknowledge them, they fought hard and sacrificed their lives for peace to come between us." Mr Fisch said.
One black cat had put her paw up.
"But there's no peace yet. Canines are still discriminated against. Most carnivores are actually. It still happens." She says.
"You're right Pepper! And that's why we can use these heroes to teach young animals, or even old animals that we need to respect each other no matter our species."
Mr Fisch usually never said things like that, which surprised me.
"I wanna help bring that peace! We should start a campaign! That way the whole world can hear our voices!" Pepper says, whipping out her laptop.
"Yes! We can talk to the council about this! I'll be happy to help. Anyone else?"
Well, I face that discrimination myself, so does Chrissie so we stuck up our paws as Fisch scribbled everyones names down on a paper that wanted to help.
Fast forward to recess and everyone is rushing to get to the canteen like they are a prisoner on death row, having their last meal. The canteen had pale, white, porcelain walls and deep grey slate tiling. The building was filled with hungry students;carnivores on the right, herbivores on the left and omnivores in the middle. (They still use these terms to define what species they are but killing another animal is forbidden, so there would be no meat)
The school was extremely rich, so every single building was built to look modern.
The thing was, I wasn't allowed to use the canteen. I had to bring my own food. But I didn't mind, my mum's food is better anyways. I stood in line with my friends, they were ordering for lunch.
"Nic, want a sip of my Chai latte?" Telescope says, handing me the coffee.
Only the senior students were allowed to get coffee. We were in year 12's so we could. Well, not me.
"Nah thanks scope', I got my own drink from home."
"It's goooood...ya suuure?" She says after sniffing the cap and holding it in my snout.
"Don't worry about it Telescope.!"
Suddenly, one of the tables had flown across the room, smashing into the wall.
"Ya ready for a real beatin bitch?" An eagle says, pulling up the sleeves of his shirt.
"Yeah let's go! C'mon! Don't be a wimp!" A Parakeet says, whose shirt is ripped and on the floor.
The eagle whips out a huge punch into the parakeets beak, it bleeding all over his shirt. The parakeet responds by kicking his talon into the eagle's crotch, resulting in him falling to his knees and on top of the parakeet.
"Perfect. I can punch you easier now." He says smiling, holding his wing out to throw another punch. Things started to get bloodier as the parakeet pushed the eagle's chest, flipping him backwards and swapping positions. There was a puddle of blood all over the floor, both beaks cracked and bruises on both knees.
"Time to put you into your place, my guy. Just because you're an eagle doesn't mean you're superior."
But it was already bad. Broken tables and holes on the walls, Broken bones and holes in each shirt. Blood on the floor, bloodshed on the walls, blood curdling screams, bloodshot eyes.
But you wouldn't think things could get even worse, but they did.
The parakeet stood up and turned his head to face me. He stood there and stared for ten seconds, only to charge right for me and slap me in the face.
Why? What did I do?
What did I do to deserve that?
His wing was slick and sharp. The feathers weren't as soft as you thought they would be, they felt off.
He just stood there and stared at me. I was too frozen to speak.
"Heartless bitch."