BLACKOUT

Chapter 10- Vengeance

Chapter 10
"Ahhhhhhh!" Was the first thing I heard from the lockers. I tried to guess who it was and not surprisingly, it was Magenta.
"He texted me back, he texted me back! Oh my god!" All my friends were peering over his shoulder.
"See? This is why you ask ME for help about guys, Magenta!" Chrissie said.
"What's going on here?" I say.
"Coorey texted Magenta back after he asked him out!" Velvet, one of our new friends, says.
"He asked him out?" I said.
"Yeah!"
"What did he respond with?"
"He said... Oh my god." Magenta says, blushing.
"Tell us!" Quill said.
"He said YES!! EEEEEE!" Magenta screams.
Everyone gasped. Magenta finally got his first ever boyfriend.
"I said exactly this: 'Hi Coorey, I know we may not know each other THAT much and It's kind of scary for me to say this but, I really like you. Like, REALLY like you. I'm in love with your personality and just everything about you. I find you just so beautiful and I'm just in love with you. I'm hoping maybe we could take our relationship a bit further'."
"And then he said this: 'Hey Magenta! Thanks for telling me your feelings! I really appreciate it. Honestly, I've had the same feelings about you. Your personality, everything! I would absolutely love to take our relationship further. So, yes!'
"Awwwww!" Everyone said.
"I'm so happy for you,Genta!" Sunset says.
"Hey! BF!" A voice screamed from the back.
Magenta and Coorey ran into each other's arms,squeezing each other so tight.
"I love you."
"I love you."
Coorey was slightly taller than Magenta due to him being an orange-spotted wolf.
"We should hang after school at my place!" Coorey says.
"Sure!"
"What kind of fruity shit is this?" Someone says.
We all swivel behind and find out that it's Citrus and her friends.
"None of your business." I say.
"You know, I'm sick of you two pushing your little gay agenda's on us normal animals! How will you be able to reproduce? Didn't you learn anything in that detention centre, Panic?" She says angrily.
"Well maybe I'm not GOING to reproduce Citrus! I'm an asexual. I don't like mating." I say.
"Oh so you're changing now huh? From being a lesbian to this... asexual..."
"Uh... wrong! Lesbians can still be asexual, it's just I don't like mating."
"Whatever, well, why is that goat and that wolf hugging? You're both boys and one of you guys is a predatory animal? What even is this?"
I walk up a little closer to her. She's not making sense now.
"You're literally dating a bird and you're a cat. What's the difference?" I say, pointing to Trent.
"That's because us felines aren't in the predatory animal category anymore!"
"Oh, will you shut up about the predatory animals please? You two are both pretty much still in it. He's a damn eagle and you're a damn cat! Still doesn't make a difference you both were carnivores during human times!"
"There's a difference Panic! Wolves used to be known as super vicious animals and most still are! Us cats actually have some self-discipline now, you clearly do not. But we are still very strong and smart. That wolf over there still lives in a cave. How pathetic. Get with the modern world, this isn't the mountains, it's a city."
"And you clearly aren't that strong Panic, you're a dancer. I thought wolves were supposed to be buff."
What?!
"Ok Citrus you're just talking complete bullshit right now. You just can't handle the truth so you make shit up and by the way, you're literally just a cat and I'm a wolf. I weigh more than you and I'm bigger than you so... " I said.
"Oh really? Well, maybe you can prove you're that strong afterschool with me eh? You up for it?"
I had to think about it for a little. Who knows how that could end up? What if I hurt her just like I did to her sister four years ago? But I knew I couldn't back away, she'd think I was a wimp. I basically started it so I had to finish it and show her I wasn't just a slack little wolf. I would only have to find a way to protect her and myself from the attack if it happens again.
"Alright. I'm up for it." I say.
"Great! See you at four, near the back of the school near the football courts, yeah?"
"Yeah."
I started to freak out as they walked away. My friends did too.
"Panic! No!" Magenta screams.
"I couldn't back out of it...she would bully me more if I did." I say.
"But what if you have the attack again Panic?"
"It's fine." I laugh.
"I'll have the muzzle and cuffs on in case. She'd rather me have that than none anyways though."
He looked so worried.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. It's going to be okay Magenta. If it does happen, I'll make sure no one gets hurt."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
It was around four o'clock and it was already getting dark. I walked over the muddy grass as I could see the little cat waiting for me. I put on the muzzle tightly and cuffed my arm slightly. I was most definitely afraid. Afraid that I may potentially hurt her but I knew that it was going to be okay. None of us were getting hurt, I was only showing her my strength.
"Wow. I'm surprised you even came."
"I don't do weak. Anyways, what do you want?"
"Oh, not much, just a little chat. I wanna know more about you." She said,
What could she want to learn about me that would be relevant to her?
"Look, if you wanna pick a fight just say that mate. I haven't got the time for this."
She started to look around the area for something which I couldn't tell what she was looking for. She had a small grin on her face and kept switching sides which she then faced me again. Her eyes shined exactly like her sisters did and it reminded me of that moment years ago.
"Hey, I heard ya smoke. Got a cigarette?" She asks me.
I checked all my pockets for a cigarette packet but there was none to be found. I cut down on smoking much since the incident. I only did it if a friend asked to. I shouldn't have been smoking at fourteen years old but I did it because It was one of the only ways to escape reality which I deeply regret and now I can't seem to stop.
"Apologies, haven't gotten any. What did you wanna talk about?" I said.
She then glanced at my right arm, which happened to have a certain type of scars on them which I always hesitated to talk about. I forgot to patch them up today.
I was wearing one of my favourite graphic t-shirts with a logo of a band on it and light blue ripped jeans which is the reason why it was showing.
"Did those hurt?" She asked. That question struck anger in me as I was already feeling tired and moody so I pinned her to the wall with that exact arm.
"One thing you should know about me is that I don't talk about my scars. They hold bad memories with them and I am not about to explain to you why they're there. Got it?!"
Her face turned from a shocked scare to a relaxed smirk. She leaned back up from the wall and pressed her paw against my chest and pulled on my shirt.
"That was just a test. You know, you were right. You really are tougher than what I thought you would be."
"I think we're done here." She says as she takes her paw from off my chest and slowly walks away.
"Phew... thank goodness nothing happened."
I was so thankful that there were no blackouts, nothing. I was clean for the day. I could finally deal with an enemy without hurting them intensely. I thought to myself, "yay! No more conflicts!" hoping to zoren that it would be like this all the time.
But that was too close of a call.
"Go." I heard in my head.
I realised that I was wrong and that this could possibly be too late because I immediately started to freak out and I knew that It already started. There were barely any symptoms. This wasn't like the other times. I couldn't move again. I realised that I'd already been taken over. The last thing I saw was Citrus still moving incredibly slowly. She won't make it...
It's getting worse. I can hear voices in my head. Is it Magenta? It sounds nothing like him. They're cheering. Weird. My ears start ringing and they start to hurt. My knees are trembling and I'm losing myself.
"No... It's happening again..."
"Don't let it take over you Panic! Stay strong." I thought, but I already had.
"Believing this wasn't happening wasn't going to do anything you dumb fuck!" The voice said.
I'm rocking side to side and I feel nauseous. My whole body is weak. I'm weak. Something is taking over it. I can feel it. I'm trying to get away from Citrus but I don't know which way I'm going. I lost my vision, next I'll lose my voice, then my whole body and that's it.
But my voice was still working and I could hear myself.
"Citrus! Go! Now!" I screamed, hoping that she could hear me.
If she heard me, she wouldn't have lost her life.
I've blacked out and I've been taken over. It's always with them. Why? I can hear those voices even more. What is my body doing?
"Wve gt her. The mars augher" Is what I could hear. The voice was explaining what I was doing:
"I grabbed onto her wrist, twisting it around and pulling her towards me. She screamed for help. I pushed her to the ground which she slammed in the face first. She's crying. Panic's handcuffs are broken. I've got an extremely sharp stick and I stuck it in her back. You could hear her blood curdling screams as the dark, garnet red blood spurted out her back. She's screaming 'I don't want to die!' and now she isn't responding. No sign of breathing, no sign of oxygen. She's dead. Great. We did it."
No. I couldn't believe it. It happened again.
I could suddenly see again. I found myself on her back, my legs and paws covered in her blood with the sharp stick in my hand, still on her back. I tried to pull it out even ,more blood spurted out with so many colours of red. Some of her light brown coloured fur was even cut off.
"No no no no no Citrus! This can't be happening, no please wake up!"
I Jump off her back and turn her over, to the side. Her heart is still pumping, there's time to save her.
But how?
CPR won't work, a whole stick was stabbed through her! Possibly in the heart.
I grab out my bag and try to pour some water in her mouth and on her back but that does nothing so I get out my phone to call the ambulance.
But there's no reason to call now, a few seconds later her heart stops beating and there's no sound out of her at all. She's dead.
"Citrus no no no! Come on! She's gone!" I yelp.
"FUCK!" I scream.
I'm really stressed out. I can't leave her here. I can still call the ambulance. But no, there's blood all over me, there's cameras and police officers are already all around, their lights shining on the football field grass. They'll spot me.
"I'm done for, okay okay okay... I'll have to signal them. They'll arrest me for sure though."
I stay on the ground, while I scream and shout for help.
"Hey! Officers! Help! Please help!"
They shined their lights over to my side and they rushed over. I'm actually very scared.
Once they're there they just stare in shock. I'm just there, kneeling next to a dead corpse and a bloody stick. It couldn't get any worse than this.
Without asking, I lie on the ground with my paws behind my back. I wanted to show them I was surrendering. I just closed my eyes and waited for them to make me get up.
"This girl again? Really?" One officer says, cuffing me.
"She's a real troublemaker isn't she. Alright let's get ya to the station, call the ambulance."
It did get worse than this. Much much worse.
I was just sitting in one of the cells, an officer just sitting across and staring at me. It just didn't feel real. I was so afraid of what's going to happen next, then, my family came in.
"Panic! Oh my goodness... not this again." Mum says rushing up to me.
"Hi mum. I'm so sorry this happened again." I apologise.
"Panic. I know. This is just... I don't know what to say."
I felt like such a fraudulent daughter, I'm such a bad representation to my younger siblings. I've made them all suffer because of myself, for my existence. I've made everyone's life so difficult and corrupt because of all these conflicts I've caused.
The mayor then comes in through the door. I thought he must be furious and he was. He walks in slowly, his face completely red. His brows went down and he didn't even look at me once.
"Hello Anx."
"Hello mayor, I'm so sorry for your loss, my heart goes out to you and your family." Mum says.
"Thank you, just letting you know she'll be having a meeting with the officials tomorrow at seven. Meet at the Karglia Castle, alright?"
"Yes of course."
"Bring some clothing too, at least some formal clothing."
He left the room. He looked devastated, I mean, of course? His daughter just died.
I felt nauseous and fatigued. Perhaps the sight of the sanguinary organs from Citrus's body was the reason.
I thought about the meeting. I knew it would definitely be in the sanctum or, well known as the throne room. I remember the last time when I killed Citrus's sister, Lemon. I wasn't allowed in there. I was only thirteen years old. Minor's under the age of fifteen could not enter the area so I was sent to a special school, with very mediaeval views. It was torture. Who knows what they'll do to me this time. I just know there's no way they'll have mercy on me.
"Mumma? Why is big sister Panic there?" She asks.
"Don't worry about it dear." Mum says.
"The only thing we'll be worried about is what's going to happen to my daughter."
It's not long before the meeting and I'm already having meltdowns. I've tried to put myself to sleep but these voices in my head keep egging me on. I can't seem to relax. But why would I relax? There's a possible chance they might kill me! I've been praying to Ivory to make it stop but I just can't.
I haven't seen my friends. How are they doing? Will they be there? Are they going to see me like this? How is Magenta doing? So many questions stuck in my mind. I'm afraid. All my enemies will be there. What will Zoren think of me? I've taken two lives now. No. I can't. I'm such a horrible person I wish I was never born. I'm overthinking, stop it Panic! Get a hold of yourself!
Will I die? Will I get hurt? What's going to happen? Will they yell at me? If I die, will I go to Ivory or Saumbre? What am I even doing? What is wrong with me? What were those voices I was hearing? Does Magenta hear them too? Who am I? I need to stop. Just fucking leave me alone!
"Panic? You ok? Are you ready?" Chrissie says.
"Oh uh yeah..."
The officer opens the gate and I'm escorted to the car. This wasn't gonna be a long ride, Karglia castle was only twenty minutes away. But I was still super uneasy from last night. At least I had my best friend with me.
I looked so unusual. I had all this equipment on and I was wearing basically a suit.
When we arrived, there was so much paparazzi for no reason. People wanted pictures and photographs with their little microphones. There were no celebrities, why so much? Why do they want to take a photo of a 'murderer?'
All my family was there. I was so embarrassed. I couldn't stop overthinking. Chrissie held onto my paw. I was quivering and I kept fidgeting and stimming. I saw Magenta there. We weren't allowed to talk to each other so we had to talk through our minds.
[Magenta:"Hey, it's gonna be okay. Don't worry, okay?"]
I nodded.
I heard the bell ring, it was time for it to start. Chrissie let go of my hand and walked off as four police officers were all around me, one holding my shoulder and one holding my arm. Everyone was seated with benches on the side with the king on his throne in the front and a long carpet flowing down with designs of black,red and white as the Scarlett colours. I knelt, sitting on the back of my shins.I was only a few feet away from the throne. I was muzzled and my paws were cuffed in front of me. It was petrifying.
This was how the humans treated vicious dogs, I was seen as a predator, as a vicious dog.
I looked forward in front of the throne to see a body lying in a black and white marble-ish fluid. It turned out to be Citrus's body.
The whole room was silent until the king had yelped.
"Okay!" He said, then sighed.
"Well look who's here before me today, again. Miss Black. Who else? Heh. Of course it's you."
"I'm honestly tired of this. Like, really tired of it and I know you are too, Mr Crowelle, aren't you?"
The mayor looked quite teary. He was weeping. I felt bad for him.
"You're right, Your majesty. This is really heartbreaking, considering I just lost another daughter."
"You said you missed Lemon. You said you wanted her back. You said you were sorry. Let me ask you Panic? What does 'sorry' mean to you? Oh that's right, you can't answer." They love to play with my feelings. They think it's funny.
"She thinks 'sorry' means 'I'm sorry that you caught me' hah!" Miss Trie said.
"Anyways, welcome everyone! Today is a special meeting about a very unfortunate incident which was committed by this young lady named Panic Nova Black. The one who killed my two twin daughters. My name is Mayor Joa Crowelle. Now, you're probably wondering, so basically a court trial? No. This is different. This is called the Karglia trials but instead, there's no justification; the defendant is sentenced right away."
I felt tense. The whole room felt tense.
"Let me fill you in on some information about my two daughters, Lemon and Citrus Crowelle. Both very kind and high achievers! They were so bubbly and stood up for what's right. They were such very funny and talented girls who could easily make friends. These two were both from a type of cat species called a tabby. This species came from their mother, Senna Crowelle, a wonderful and beautiful mother and wife. They lived so happily all up until their lives were taken away from them, from a feisty little wolf-dog named Panic. Now, I'll fill you in some info about Panic. Panic is one of their classmates and has been for many years. She is a German shepherd and a black wolf with slight red deer. They could have all graduated together wonderfully if she hadn't ruined their lives. That is why she is here before us today."
"Also, as you can see, Citrus is laid in a marble-ish fluid, this is what mortal souls are laid in if it has been their first or second death. It sends the Ivory and Saumbre a message that these souls can be resurrected. It also blesses and strengthens their bodies for when they are resurrected so they have a less chance of dying again."
They both used humour to battle against the despair they have for the deaths.
There was one police officer who stared at me, he had a dopey look on his face. He was an african wild dog, a type of canidae that originated from a place that was on earth that humans lived on called Africa.
"Anyways, should we take this back to you, King Karglia?" Mayor Crowelle says.
"Yes actually, I wanted to speak about Panic's past. Most of you would know the name and instantly think, "that's the wolf-dog who caused a lot of problems for Karglia?Right?" Well, that's obviously correct."
They're making a fool out of me.
"But Panic was known for being quite a bully too, in her younger primary years, she constantly kicked, pulled and punched other children. There was one young bear named Charlotte who she would go for. Charlotte Greyss. They stopped her from doing it, of course, but hasn't learnt anything ever since."
The room just stayed silent. It was overwhelming, the room was boiling, like we had just hit the sun. I still felt fatigued and my mouth felt uncomfortable; I was almost going to throw up.
"Alright. I think it's time we get to the real point of the meeting."
"Ok, Panic Nova Black."
Everyone quickly shot their heads toward the throne, eager to hear what I must face.
"Officials have gathered together to decide what comes next for you, no grace towards you. The Ivory and Saumbre have decided that you will be sent to a place not very pleasant, but will hopefully discipline you and bring you back to the light."
"Panic, you will attend the Scarlian pound centre of Ivory and Saumbre."
Oh.
Well, great.
"We'll put you on for around five years but it may extend."
All of my foes had little smirks on their faces.
At least I won't be able to make my family suffer any more, or my absence means mum has to take care of my brothers and sisters .
Although, we already have been by the absence of our father.
So it wasn't that different.
"It looks like the girl has no remorse at all." Mr Crowelle said, wiping the tears off of his face.
"Well, are you?"
Of course I was. I just killed someone, I felt sickly. I felt like such a vulgar being just as they would describe me. I knew it wasn't my fault and If we all knew what was going on, maybe I wouldn't have felt this way.
I don't want to go. I'll be alone. I was petrified of what it would be like at that place. 'Stray' or homeless animals would be taken to places like shelters and pounds when humans took over the world. They usually had very feisty and vicious animals there who either didn't have a good home or back at their 'home' they were abused. Or they could have just been lost. The thing that's messed up about it though is, they're stuck in cages all day,lie punishment for these poor animals. If their owners take them back, who knows if they will treat them well or not? And if nobody shows up for days; they're killed.
That's where the word pound came from.
Lots of animals who have their predatory selves back are sent to the pounds, they get those senses back from being around prey animals or eating illegal things like meat.
The Xanixian society sees meat similar to drugs, because it changes the way us predatory animals behave, so that's why it is illegal and even us Carnivores and Omnivores are now Herbivores (bugs,eggs,honey and dairy products are okay). It's also taking the life of another animal which is most commonly cows and chickens so that's another reason why it's illegal.
"Yes. I do feel quite guilty about what happened."
It was super hard to speak with the muzzle being so tight.
"Well good.Anyways, what's next your majesty? Will she be sent straight away?"
"No. I'll give her one night to see her family and friends just here at the Great Scarlian gardens. We'll take her." The king says.
I looked back at my family. My mother looked my way. She looked quite debilitated and worn-out.
"The energy in this room feels degenerate. Must be coming from Panic." I hear someone in the benches say.
The whole sanctum was very quiet, you could hear noise coming from the people outside of the room, all up until the king declared the end of the meeting.
We headed towards the gardens, both officers beside me.
"Could I speak with Panic for one second?" one of the officers said, who was the same officer staring at me before.
He took me by the arm and shuffled me over next to a bush as the other officer waited.
"Hey, the name's Dantae, but please call me Officer Dan." He whispers.
"Why are you whispering?" I ask.
"Oh my god just hold on i'll tell you."
"Alright,alright."
He keeps going.
"Okay, so, I'm going to be your personal officer, Panic. Every group has their own officer." He explains.
"And?" I say.
"Girl just shut the fuck up and let me tell you something!"
"Okay! I'm sorry damn!"
He then proceeds to tell me how he believes me and that he understands I can't help this. Which is kind of the bare minimum, but I was still grateful.
"Okay, I'll take you down to your friends now, okay?" He says, walking me down the steps while the other officer follows.
I see my mum talking to my friends, all with down looks on their faces.
Magenta turns and jumps to me, hugging me extremely tight.
"Panic! Oh my goodness." He says.
All my friends are crowded around me.
"Guys guys it's okay..." I say.
"This isn't fair at all. We've got to get to the bottom of this. It's not right!" Chrissie said.
"I mean, I understand why they did this. They don't understand, we all don't understand and that's okay."
Even though I sounded calm and quite positive, I really wasn't. I was petrified of everything.
"We will find a way to figure out Panic and Magenta. One day your souls will be free." Telescope says.
"Yeah! We will believe in you!" Quill says.
"Thank you so much. I love you all, I'm so grateful for you guys." I say, doing a little curtsey.
In Xanixir culture, it's polite to bow when saying thank you or apologising or when meeting new people! Like when you meet royalty or a very special person.Usually, you would do a diamond shape with your paws which represents the Xanixian gods afterworld, Ivory or a circle shape which represents the god afterworld Saumbre depending on the person you meet. People who don't have paws or fingers don't have to, they use their arms, like Magenta because he has hoofs. You only go slightly down, so like a little curtsey! It's a nice way to show someone you really mean what you are saying.
"Aw! Panic!" Chrissie says as everyone squeezes in to hug me. They were all so supportive.
Then the King and the mayor come over, which we all do a slight bow to. Valerie is with them.
"Do not cause any trouble. I'm warning you." King Karglia says.
"Yes, sir." I say.
I turn around back to my friends, they're all tearing up.
"We're gonna miss you Panic..."
I scramble over to them, hugging them all again.
"Guys. I doubt they're going to keep me there the whole time. I'm guessing they are going to kill me to get Lemon and Citrus back home." I say.
Their jaws dropped.
"What!?" They all scream.
"Do you not remember the marble-fluid? It's supposed to ensure that the body is blessed and gives the body more strength for when it is hopefully resurrected again!? They're taking her to the resurrection shrine right now so they keep her there until she comes back to life again." I explain, thinking they wouldn't have forgotten.
"Ohhh. right..."
Then everything went silent. After saying that, I realised that I would have to die and the only way you can die is pain. Then I forget I would have to meet the gods themselves, Lord Zoren and Lord Kaave, who may not understand what's going on. Then I would have to face whatever came my way.
But that's okay, because maybe I will finally be able to meet my uncle again after twelve years. Maybe both of them.
We all grabbed some drinks and snacks to have together and to chat a bit more until it was time to spend my last day at my home for a long while.
The gardens were beautiful, there were azalea shrubs surrounding the place, acting as if it were a fence. The floor was filled with bright green short grass, each leaf the perfect length. The grass held over stepping stones for some animals' little feet to step on which lead to the massive white gazebo. It was smothered with fairy lights and beautiful scarlet red curtains that sloped over the partitions. On one side across from the gardens was the beach. You could see its gorgeous sunset, which was turning almost to dusk. The other side was the Karglia castle. The left was the city and the right was the Great karglia woodlands. I felt so happy to be able to live in a place like this but it's a shame I never got to see the beauty of this place. Maybe when I turn twenty-five I'll be able to see what the world really looks like.
It was almost dusk which meant it was time for us to leave and go home. I kissed all my friends goodbye and we set for home.
I was terrified still, but I tried my hardest to remain calm and for some reason, today I did exceptionally well in that, since I'm an extremely sensitive person but I didn't want to show the officials that I'm weak, I wanted to show them that I'm strong.
As I was packing my things, my youngest sister Spirit burst into the room.
"Pan Pan! Big sister Pan Pan!" She yelps, jumping on the bed to hug me as I catch her and hold her.
"Hiii Spirit! What can I do for you?"
"I love you Pan Pan! You're the best big sister ever!" She screams.
"Oh well i'm not the best but, thank you Spirit!"
She then jumps off of my arms and runs out of the room. She's a wacky little kid, just like my dad.
Then mum comes into the room. She's wrapped around her long wool cardigan and her eyes are droopy. Her ears are pricked back while her tail is stuck in between her legs. She looked indisposed.
"I'm sorry for all of this mum. Really. I'm ruining your life." I apologise.
"Sweetheart, it's okay...mum's just not feeling the best, that's why I look like this. I just hope you can keep in contact with me and I can keep in contact with you." She says.
"I hope so."
"You know I love you. They just don't understand but, at least it's keeping others safe."
I look at her confused.
"Well, not exactly keeping the other animals safe but, you get what I mean. If they confined you until they worked on the problem that would be nicer but... I doubt they would think of it because they don't believe us."
"Yeah." I say.
"I just wish things were better, I mean, they've taken away your uncle, your other uncle left, your father too. You've had to replace him for years. Losing you would be even worse so now Kaos has to be in your place and he's only fifteen years old! I really hope we can figure this out, it would be my dream!"
You could tell mum was really stressed out about my family's future, which I was too.
"I hope so too, mum."