diary // yang jungwon

<3

Entry Two:

October 15, 2020

Today is my older cousin's birthday, he's 19. I don't speak to him too often, so I'm sort of dreading going to his house tonight with my mom for his birthday. Him and I used to be close, but ever since my ex-bestfriend bullied his sister, we haven't spoken as much. 

My ex-bestfriend's name was Claire. She always treated me like a servant, as if I was her dog. A stray dog even. I didn't mind, because at my old school, reputation was very important. I felt like I needed to be friends with her to survive there. I didn't know she bullied my little cousin, Haerin. She always played nicely with us and didn't dare act up at my aunt's house. Only Haerin knew her true colors, other than me. She also knew that I was oblivious to the situation at hand, and still, she never told anyone. 

One day, in 6th or 7th grade, my cousins came to my house while Claire was there. I went to make us all food, then I heard a commotion. 

Heeseung was shielding Haerin, and shouting at Claire angrily. Claire was crying hysterically. I was taken aback, all I saw was my older cousin yelling at my best friend. I did what any friend would, I defended Claire and yelled back at Heeseung. He told me that I was in on it, and that I defended a bully. A bully...? I was so confused at that moment. He said I was just as much of a bully as Claire. I couldn't fight the tears that poured over my waterline. I had admired Heeseung my entire life. I'd loved him like he was my own brother. Now, to him, I'm a bully? Haerin tried explaining that I had no idea, but he didn't buy it.

He called me a bully. I was not a bully. I was angry. Confused. Sad. And most of all I felt betrayed. I felt betrayed by Heeseung for accusing me of such things. I felt betrayed by Claire for treating my younger cousin this way. Although it's not unlike her, I trusted her to be around my family, so I didn't expect her to go as far as doing more than just mistreating me. I also felt betrayed by Haerin by keeping this all to herself instead of telling Heeseung or I, I would've dropped Claire faster than the blink of an eye. 

This was about 3 and a half years ago. Even to this day, he and I never resolved our issue. Haerin and I are still very close. They moved in my district at the beginning of the school year, so now I eat lunch, walk to school, and do activities with Haerin, since she's a year younger. 

Anyway..Wish me luck for tonight! I really hope all goes well...

Thank you for reading! Don't forget to vote and comment. Stay healthy and happy everyone <3 

QOTD: do you think Chae-eun had the right to feel betrayed by Haerin at that moment?

Other works:

special - nishimura riki

when i was your man - park sunghoon

(under editing) i'm so tired...- lee heeseung