diary // yang jungwon

<3

Entry Four:

November 9, 2020

Yang Jungwon.

The boy from the bus.

That's his name. 

He's one of the friends Sunoo and Ni-ki went to eat with. 

Apparently he's new to our district.

Hmmm. Let's change the topic!

School has been stressful lately.

My panic attacks have been less common, though. I'm grateful for that. 

I haven't thought about him since he left without a word. Sometimes I wonder if he would've stayed had I not confessed to him. I know I shouldn't care about him, so is it bad that I miss him?

Sometimes I wonder if he even thinks about coming back. He threw away our friendship as if it was nothing, it's as if i was nothing too. Am I really that unimportant that he could leave without warning?

Was our friendship really that meaningless that he could walk away from it the second I confessed? I also wonder if I'm just putting myself through unnecessary pain, and if he was going to leave regardless.

Okay! Topic change again! I'm starting to tear up a bit...

I made a friend a few months ago, during summer break.

I met her at a bubble tea shop, after I left Haerin's house. She and I bumped into each other on accident since I was rushing to get my order. She noticed I had a BT21 tote bag slung over my shoulder and made conversation off of it. 

Her name is Park Yeji. I asked her to exchange numbers and said we should be "besties", partly joking. I didn't expect we'd actually become best friends. I'm more shocked at the fact that I gathered the courage to speak more than a quick "sorry" to her.

She hangs out with Haerim and I sometimes, and Haerim likes her, so that's a good sign. 

She had transferred to our district that day, so her and I have some classes together too!

I don't think Sunoo likes her very much. He always whines that she's "stealing me away from him."

Unbelievable. Right?

Ughh, this entry is all over the place. I'm just trying to pass time as I wait for the bus to get here. 

Oh. My. GOD. 

I'm rushing to write this. 

YANG JUNGWON JUST SAT NEXT TO ME AT THE BUS STOP.

OK OK. 

I MIGHT'VE FORGOTTEN TO MENTION THAT HE IS LITERALLY THE DEFINITION OF THE PERFECT VISUAL. AND HIS VOICE-?!!!??!

oh. the bus is here. Well...I'll go now!