A Fuckboy gone wrong - A REAL DATING STORY

Chapter 11 - Plot Twist - May 2022

How many times did I imagine in my mind how it would be if I were to see him again?

How many times did I play this reunion in my mind?
And yet - it felt nothing but *normal.

He picked me up from the platform where my train arrived and when I saw him, I was just incredibly happy. So happy to see this human again that I missed for so long, that has been a teacher for me in the worst and best ways.

I ran into his arms and it just felt normal. Comfortable, familiar, easy, calm.

I was just so thrilled to see him. There was no heaviness surrounded around him. We just instantly click. And it does not matter how long we don't see each other. It always feels easy. It feels like, no distance, time or person can come in between. 

We walked to a bar close by where there was a cuddle-corner and he asked me if I was okay with him touching or hugging me. I said yes . We ordered drinks and started to chitchat. And relatively fast into the conversation Moritz kissed me.

Gosh, It felt amazing feeling desire again. It felt amazing him wanted to enjoy every second of this kiss. 

Breathing in Moritz's breath felt so much like home, it was a sweet calm feeling of being with my own kind again. It felt like no time went by. Anyways - I drank quite a lot and at some point some information hit me that I barely understood, so I had to ask again.

I asked how everything was going on his end... I was ready to hear anything. A wedding planned, a baby on the way... Their happiness....But no - that was not on the table. 

He paused and said that he did not know if he could answer this question truthfully without falling into the trap of creating hope for me again. He now would understand that a lot that he said to me in the past was slightly manipulative.

I was a bit confused because I was not even here with the intention to make anything happen for myself. I was here to move Moritz from drawer "Please I beg you to love me" to "Okay just be in my life whatever that looks like"

So... hope? Hoping for what? Oh dear - 

He told Nora... (wait here it comes)...

 --- that he cannot imagine a future with her....

Shocker.

I am sorry, I don't want to be disrespectful, especially not for her struggle and effort and investment, but seriously 

WOW - Shocker. -You don't say? How did I not see this coming? 
WOW

----

"Okaaaaaaay"; I answered-- aaaand what did that have to do ... with me? 

Did he finally have the epiphany that he wanted to be with me instead or what was the catch?

"Well, he was wondering", he said .... "How it would have been had we been together, instead."

Thank god I already drank two glasses of wine, because....

YOU DO NOT GET TO SAY THOSE WORDS TO ME.

---

Yeah guess what, I wondered that every single day for 2 FRIGGIN YEARS, and now I stopped wondering because you know what - I have the answer. We did try. We did. Those 2 years did not go to waste. - You did not choose me - every day for two years you did not choose me. That is all the evidence I need, and while I am sorry that you now have to live with that regret or unanswered question of how our story could have turned out had you chosen me, but that is your regret to live with.