Head in the clouds.

Chapter Three.

My journey to bed was a long and eventful one. It would have been a gallant and truly epic tale about love and sacrifice if only I could have remembered any of it. When I finally woke up at 10am the next day my head felt like it had been split in half by something fearsome like sabre tooth tiger or that dude from Texas with the chainsaw. After several heavy sighs and loud distressed moaning I found the courage to get out of the warm safe cocoon that was my blankets, this I instantly regretted as the room turned sideways and my stomach decided to freak out worse than me watching the movie with the dude from Texas and his chainsaw. During the course of that morning I threw up twice, tripped over three stranger's shoes and found five people still un-conscience, I decided to leave them where they were because they all looked very peaceful and could possibly be violent criminals. After standing around for a while feeling miserable I decided to tidy up, which was just really a distraction from having to look at my phone. There were bottles literally everywhere; in the kitchen, in the bathroom, on the couch, in my bed, on the balcony, balanced on the TV, tables and my sleeping cat. It took several trips downstairs to dispose of the overwhelming evidence from last night and once I was done my lungs were on fire from running from place to place and shouting at stranger to get out. My apartment now looked empty and lacking character just as it always had, but unlike when I usually looked at the blank walls and clear surfaces I didn't see a clean slate with endless possibilities, I saw that something was missing, which made my head and chest hurt considerably. I ran into my bedroom picked up my keys and phone (without looking at the screen) and went out to get some fresh air. This was possibly one of the worst things I could have done after throwing an all-night rager with countless celebrities. As soon as my feet hit the cold, unrelenting pavement photographers and interviewers emerged from the dark, doomed places they hide whilst not being complete arse-holes. I was surrounded, trapped on the steps of my building, completely alone. Cameras flashed blinding me and questions where flying like bullets each hitting their mark.

"Jess, are you going to rehab to help with your addictions?"

"Is it true you got into a fight? Where are the bruises?"

And these didn't bother me because I'd heard them a thousand times before, but then I heard something that made every detail from last night flood back in full force.

"How does it feel to know Miss Cara Delevingne had already moved on?"

One drop. The fight. Two drops. The apologizing. Three drops. The kiss. The whole damn river. Walking away. What the hell did he mean by moved on, moved on from what? Those two words bludgeoned my brain causing my vision to blur and my ability to think disappear like a cloud of smoke in the wind of confusion. I could feel my pulse rising and anger making my face red and flustered. With my fists clenched and shoulders squared I charged through the crowd into open air and sprinted down the street, away from the demons that always seemed to find me at my worst. As I ran all I could see was the blur of streets and buildings and people, nothing mattered because nothing could stay. I slowed down to walking pace as my lungs felt as though they had spontaneously combusted within my chest. But even at a walking pace the world seemed to be spinning out of control; that was until my eyes fell on a thick glossy magazine with Cara's face and mine inches apart spread across the front page. People pushed past me and called me all kind of names but that was just background noise as I picked up the magazine paid for it and then looked inside.

So even though I was on the front cover the article wasn't about me specifically, I had remained nameless probably thanks to my manager.

Cara Delevingne was spotted later last night smooching this mystery girl on the street; does it show a commitment though? We think not as Cara was later spotted kissing model friend...